Deck the halls with boughs of Cha-lee!

Charlie Cho Cha-lee. And his jingle balls.
-

My dirty sifu, Charlie Cho Cha-lee, is seen above, dressed as an excited little weiner for the fun and sexy Cha Chuen-yee directed/Veronica Yip Yuk-hing headlined, TAKE ME. What's that shooting out of Cha-lee's mouth? Or should I even ask? Charlie! You ol' dirty bastard! Well, just a short post here as I am worn out this week. Been working OT to pay off the holiday bills and have been under the weather. So much so that I went to the doctor today. Diagnosis? I have a cold. Treatment? Eat soup. I swear, this was what the doc told me. "You have a cold and you should eat soup." New York State health care at it's finest. I want my co-pay back!

-

X-mas eve is in a few short hours and i'm praying that UPS, or 'Santa', makes it here on time? As per tradition I spend the eve with Wei and her rather large extended family (As the token. Representing all the whities out there.) and there have been rumors of hot pot for dinner. Hopefully I will be able to snap a few pics of our din din for ya'll? I don't want to spoil the holiday cheer with blog poo. I'm also kinda psyched that Wei's family's dress code for holidays consists of sweatpants and a hoodie. I would go commando too, but I know Santa is bringing me HK movies and i'm afraid of a mishap as I open my gifts. Boing!

-

CHA-LEE AND I WOULD LIKE TO WISH ALL OF THE BULLETS OVER CHINATOWN READERS A VERY SAFE, FUN, AND MERRY, CAT III CHRISTMAS!

-

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

Holiday HK Movie Shopping and Dinner in C-town

Alrighty. Just as we did last week, Wei and I threw on our long warm skivvies last night and headed out for din din and HK movie shopping. Instead of trekking into Flushing, we drove a little further and hit NYC C-town. This was our final trip before X-mas and Wei's last hope to find me some gifts gosh darn it?! It was either now or a very barren Christmas for Kingwho? As with most queries in life, C-town held the answer. As a wise man once said, "A journey to buy 1,000 movies, begins with one step. In C-town." We braved the frigid temps wrapped in layers. Wei disguised as 'Nanook of the North' and I in my Furry cap. Looking more akin to Iditarod racers than holiday shoppers we hoofed around searching for my beloved HK flicks. And we found one or two. Or twenty. So, as our tradition goes, I pick out the movies that I want, Wei wraps them and places them under the tree. From: Santa Clause. How did he know? After shopping we made our way down to GREAT N.Y. NOODLETOWN for dinner. We hadn't eaten there in about a year and shame on us. Wei used to eat there with her grandparents and turned me on to this wonderful joint. Questionable service, phenomenal food. I provided pics below for you to smack your chops over. Taste the MSG! All for 23 bucks! But before this HK flicker blog turns into some douchey foodie site, I also provided ya'll with a few HK movie mini-posters I picked up during my travels last night. And I also have a special treat for you guys. Scroll down. After the pics. I'll meet you there.

GALLANTS aka FISTS OF DIGNITY

SHAOLIN

WIND BLAST

LEGEND OF THE FIST
THE LEGEND OF BRUCE LEE
DETECTIVE DEE AND THE MYSTERY OF THE PHANTOM FLAME


Inside of Great N.Y. Noodletown. Best seat in the house. Right next to the crapper!

Wei's dinner. Roast Pork/Roast Duck Wonton Soup

Mine. ALL MINE! Roast Pork/Roast Pig/Roast Duck over Rice. I also had a fried egg on the side. Can you say "Fat Ass?" I know you can!
Chinese Vegetables w/ Oyster Sauce
Duck Rolls. Fan-freakin-tastic. I can still taste them. And that's a good thing.

I have man boobs.
-

On our way into C-town I was thinking of what I should take pics of for the blog? Either for a post or for the header. I decided on shooting some video instead. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do or say in the video, so it became a 'Johnny on the spot' kind of thing. This might be a one and done type deal, but based on your thoughts, maybe I will shoot more video in the future? In the vid below is yours truly, doing what I do best. Making a silly ass of myself. Par for the course, really. Now, you don't actually see me in the video but you will have the unfortunate pleasure of hearing my gosh awful NY accent narrate. I was also working on 3 hours of sleep, 8 total in the past 2 days, so, be gentle. The original video is a bit long and after a few tries just wouldn't upload. So, I broke the video into two parts. The first part, which you are about to see, starts up after our HK DVD/VCD shopping as we stroll down Bowery on our way to dinner at GREAT N.Y. NOODLETOWN. After stuffing my fat face and leaving the restaurant, I just let the camera roll and finally shut my mouth, as Wei and I walk down Bayard St. towards Mulberry St. where we park our car in a city "spread your cheeks and get brutalized (figuratively, folks) garage" for $40!!! The camerawork is provided by Christopher Doyle. So if shaky cam isn't your thing....tough! Hope you enjoy?!

Din Din and Shopping in Flushing

Wei and I put on our long johns, bundled our butts up, and headed into Flushing C-town for a hot bowl of soup and noodles and to do a little HK movie X-mas shopping. It was about 20 degrees out, feeling more like 10, and the wind was biting. Flushing is a favorite dinner destination of ours (usually only frequenting a handful of places out of the hundred's that are around) and it's also a heck of a lot closer than NYC C-town. The caveat is, the HK movie shopping stinks. The movie shops in Flushing began to dwindle a few years back and now there are only about 3 that are still operating. We hit all three each and every time we visit but rarely score anything great. Usually less than a handful of flicks. Reason being, 90% of the movies being hawked are bootlegs! For shame! Below are some pics of the three shops we regularly visit in Flushing. Also, a shot or two of our din din at the wonderful Chao Zhou Restauarant (pictured above with the landmark 'Big Bowl' atop the establishment), where we usually stop, as we did tonight, for a huge bowl of Cambodian Noodle soup. I burned the shit out of my tongue, but it was goooooood!

As we were seated, our server ran behind the counter to grab a fork. One single, solo, lonesome fork, and placed it in front of me. Of course. Give the fork to the gwailo! As it happens, Wei uses a fork more than I do. Just to set the record straight. I may not be 100% adept with chopsticks, but I can get by.

Our usual fare, the Cambodian Noodle soup.

Stall selling bootleg Mainland TV shows outside of the great restaurant, Corner 28. We stopped off to buy some Da Bao for Wei's aunt. And of course, a few Da Bao for my chunky ass as well. One for each man jug. Playing on the television to the upper left is a program on how to speak English.

More Mainland TV show bootlegs under the train trestle

Outside of one of the ubiquitous 'mini malls' in Flushing. Once inside the front doors, a tiny movie shop is first door on the left. Outside, the shop sells more bootleg Mainland TV shows,

Inside the shop, some of the films on display. Wei and her 'Nanook of the North' winter jacket are on the left and above her woolly hood, the top three shelves display legitimate HK DVD's. Wei bought me LA COMEDIE HUMAINE here and will wrap it as one of my X-mas gifts. "Oh! LA COMEDIE HUMAINE?! You shouldn't have?!" This was the only DVD we bought tonight. What a disappointment.

Bargain bin of another movie shop, this one located in the grand waste of space, aka Flushing Mall. This sad monstrosity is a flea market like, bare bones, multi level mall and food court that houses a bunch of Asian businesses. A beautiful idea for the community, but a wasteland. I swear I saw a tumbleweed roll through the second level and a prairie dog pop up against my ankle. Honestly.

This store in the Flushing Mall sells 'legit' stuff. Mostly out of region DVD's that, of course, have English subtitles listed on the box. But when you get home, pop the movie in, and settle into the ass groves of your sofa with a bowl of chicken feet.....negative subtitles. I have been screwed more times than I can remember from this shop. So, I usually temper my expectations when visiting. They had DETECTIVE DEE in stock but it didn't have English subs. And they didn't list it as having any?! I was shocked.

This basement shop is in the Hong Kong Mall, just below the Hong Kong Supermarket, a chain of Asian grocery stores. HK Supermarket is an establishment owned by the beautiful, former CAT III actress, Veronica Yip Yuk-hing and her banker hubby, Jeffrey Wu. Down in the basement, another enterprise awaits. Bootlegs as far as the eye can see. I love joking that this spot, and possibly the others we visit, are Triad run. They probably aren't, but it adds more flavor to my visit.

The side of Wei's noggin' and Asian TV bootlegs.

The store is mostly bootlegs of various Asian countries' television shows. There are legit shows as well, but the booters are about half the price of the originals. As for the HK films, they are 99% bootleg. On occasion, among the copies on the rack, you will find the legit, or master, copy. I believe that they take the master copy, burn the disc to make a bunch of copies, and then re-cellophane the master and sell it off. if i ever buy anything from this joint, it is always the wrapped master copy. And it is always legit and has English subs! Hooray!

Random Taiwanese adult junk with the crappy Shu Qi opus, IRON SISTER, on display.

Rushing through the cold I came a cross a few posters of HK entertainers either hawking products or a performance. This is par for the course in C-town neighborhoods. Above is Wayne Lai Yiu-cheung promoting something or other?
The fine, mustachioed crooner/actor (and husband of another great singer/actor Sally Yeh) George Lam Chi-cheung is photoed above on a poster plastered throughout Flushing. He's performing a few hours away at Foxwoods Resort Casino in Connecticut.

Wei and I made our last stop, doing a little grocery shopping. Above is Kelly Chan Wai-lam pushing Mooncakes.

-

So, only one movie to my name, a bag full of fish balls, 2 Da Bao, a can of Hey Song, and some dried pork for congee. On occasion i'll take groceries in favor of movies. On occasion. Anyway, next Thursday we are planning on heading into NYC C-town for din din and some more HK X-mas movie shopping. Let's hope that next week my HK movie shopping experience is more fruitful. Knock on wood. This year looks to be a 'quality over quantity' deal for X-mas. The past few years I have been literally swimming in well over 100 HK movies. This year the pickings are slim. Hopefully on X-mas morn', Santa's got a brand new bag.....of HK movies for me.

Saturday Stuff

Ok. Slowly back to the bump and grind. Just as I eased off of the Thanksgiving leftovers, and ate a heaping helping of my blog birthday cock cake, I have turned to stuffing my fat mug with Hanukkah delicacies like General Tso's gefilte fish, cream cheese and lox fried wontons, and hot and sour matzoh ball soup. I have added considerable girth so far this holiday season and am feeling lethargic. So, here's and easy post for ya'll to get through. Above is a pic of the 2010 NYAFF screening of GALLANTS. A buddy of mine is getting his KUNG FU HUSTLE mini poster signed by Bruce Leung Siu-leung. To the right of Bruce is MC Jin. That gargantuan, bulbous, white cranium you see peeking out over the demure Asian woman is your truly. After getting my GALLANTS picture auto'ed by Bruce, I let out a whimpy, "M'goi, sai." I'm such an idiot.

I may have shown this pic before? My memory leaves a lot to be desired and i'm just too lazy to go back through my archives to check. Anyway, Wei and I were car shopping this past summer and came across a Toyota with the Shaw Bros. symbol on the trunk. How randomly cool is that?

-

CRAZY EMPEROR (1993)
-

After Wei and I are through scouring the largely bootleg HK films found in Flushing, we usually stop off at our favorite spot for dinner. 66 Lu's Seafood. It's a small Taiwanese joint on the corner of 39th and Prince. We always say that we are going to try a new place. Venture out beyond the norm. But it rarely happens. We always find ourselves plunked down here enjoying the exact same fare each and every time. The pics below are of our usual spread. It's comfort food for my fat ass.

A big reason why I have man boobs

Pork Chop over rice w/ vegetables

Stinky or 'smelled' Tofu

Oyster pancake

BODY LOVER (1993)

Cheesy action and sex abound in the cool CAT III flick BODY LOVER. The film is a sequel to director Jeng Kin-pin's first film, HONG KONG EVA. In fact, the first 5 minutes of BODY LOVER are the final 5 minutes of HONG KONG EVA. Both films are brimming with fine low budget goodness. Kin-pin is only listed as directing 3 films, his third and final film being the excellent CAT III roughie, SUBURB MURDER. If you are into this kind of smut, all 3 films are recommended. Above is a cornball action scene with notable CAT III nudie starlet Julie Lee Wa-yuet involved in the melee. Though an infamous CAT III queen, Ms. Lee really isn't so easy on the eyes. However she is notorious for taking it in every orifice in her 1995 directorial debut (with an assist by T.F. Mou) TRILOGY OF LUST. Revisit my TRILOGY OF LUST post right HERE. Enjoy!