Wednesday, April 27, 2011

War God (1976).....with a little piece of Ms. Mail Lady on the side

WAR GOD aka CALAMITY (1976)
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It has been unearthed!!! The much spat about but seldom seen colossal Taiwanese kaiju classic......WAR GOD!!!!! With much thanks to Sleazy K from So Good Reviews and...well... Sleazy K's Video, for tracking this bad boy down and lovingly sharing it with a select few (I was lucky enough to be one of the few) before unleashing it on the public in all of it's downloadable torrent glory. I will not venture a review for this splendid spectacle as we all have been waiting for our good sister, Achilles Girl In Action Land, to plunk down her calamitous write up on this event film. And like the swift falling of the mighty God Kwan's staff, Achillesgirl has crowned us with a doozy of a review. Check it out HERE!!!!!!






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To whet your Taiwanese kaiju appetite, above is a brief clip of our beloved God Kwan defending us from those evil big rubber headed aliens! TAKE THAT!!!!! You rubber domed alien person thingies!!!!




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Switching gears from the enormity of God Kwan, Ms. Mail Lady made another delivery today. My good buddy from the blogosphere, Glenn, over at A Pessimist Is Never Disappointed, is selling off a bunch of his beloved Shaw Brothers films. WTF?, you ask? Fear not. It's all for a good cause. Glenn is planning on uprooting from this shit deal that we here in the states call the 'American Dream', and planning on planting himself squarely and soulfully into our beloved former colony, Hong Kong. To finance his journey to the far east (or west), he is lightening his load for the transplant. Glenn is one of the most generous people I have met through social networking and a genuine good guy. If you are interested in purchasing any of his Shaw Bros. DVD's or VCD's, check out the remaining members on sale right HERE!

Alrighty. So, my big box of win has yielded a ton, well, 27 Celestial Shaw Bros. classics. Check out the pics for the titles. A lot of goodies to wade through. Something about the colorful Celestial packaging really gets me going. I must admit....I opened this package a few hours ago and I'm still kinda moist!



Mo' movies, mo' movies, mo' movies...


Noooo! Not VD. VCD's!!! Though they do make me itch.




One of Glenn's coolest gifts (and he just threw it in for me. I told you he was a good guy!!!) and as he jokingly describes it, " You have the fruits of my labors in hauling ass to the Celestial office," a dang wonderful Celestial Shaw Bros. Film Catalog. Below is a pic from the 'Erotic' section (what else?) of the catalog. If you really dig Shaw Bros. or are just a collector of HK films, hook Glenn up with some of your hard earned coin. I really want to see this great guy in HK! I need a futon to sleep on when i'm in situ!!!!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Coolest HK Movies You Have Never Seen pt.2- Invasion of the Taiwanese!!!



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BIG CIRCLE BLUES (1992)



Often times I knowingly lump Taiwanese productions in with HK productions, especially dealing with the 'golden era' of HK cinema. The reasons being that Taiwan and HK often shared their respective top talents as well as genre cinema stereotypes and often co-produced films together. At times it was difficult to tell what was a Taiwanese production or a HK one, in respect to it's lower budget genre films, as both cinemas were fired up with similar energy and irreverence as well. So, it is only fair of me to count Taiwanese productions in my 'Coolest Movies' series as, for my $, Taiwanese films pack more of a fervent and kinetic off the wall-ness than most HK films. And the proof is where my cheesy little videos come in.



Above is the 1991 Taiwanese actioner, BIG CIRCLE BLUES, starring HK'ers Mark Cheng Ho-nam, Michiko Nishiwaki, Wu Ma, and Taiwanese tough bitch, To Gwai-fa. The films look is cheap, as were the majority of Taiwanese films from this era, but don't let the meager budget fool you. This film, and a whole heckuva lot more films from this era, pack quite an action wallop. Cookie cutter stories and characterizations aside, Taiwanese actioners were more times head and shoulders above their HK counterparts. Believe it!







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HEROES IN GAIL aka GANGS POWER (1992)



OK. So, I will admit here that the 1992 gangster actioner HEROES IN GAIL is not a good film. The two copies I have seen of this choppy actioner were questionable at best. The running time is relatively short and appears to be oft edited. I'm unsure if these copies are the most complete ones available, but I don't think a coherent edit would matter? That much being said, HEROES IN GAIL provides some nice action work that thankfully slices into this turgid tale nicely. HK actor Shum Wai, who is most notable for his villainous roles, again body slams his persona into his character by playing a wonderfully glorious bastard. Other HK'ers of note in this mess are bits by Jimmy Lung Fong, the Duke of Dirty-Charlie Cho Cha-lee, and once again, Mark Cheng Ho-nam. The actual title, I believe, should read HEROES IN JAIL, not GAIL. That shit titling only adding to my slight satisfaction with this film.




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WOLF OF CHINA SEA aka THE KILLER FROM CHINA (1991)



And finally, WOLF OF CHINA SEA aka THE KILLER FROM CHINA. Again, as with HEROES IN GAIL, this film isn't so hot, but it is definitely cool in parts. Three of HK's finest, circa 1991, star in this gangster blow 'em up. Michael Miu Kiu-wai, Alex Man Chi-leung, and Alex Fong Chung-sun co-mingle with Taiwanese actor Wong Goon-hung, the actual star of this enjoyable action yarn.



As I mentioned earlier, action was the flavor of the day with Taiwanese films from this era. Liberally 'borrowing' plots and pacing from it's better known bigger brother from across the South China Sea, Taiwanese cinema deserves just as much props for their brand of genre excess. Though never really even coming close to scrapping the heels of HK in terms of success, it wasn't for lack of trying. I will most definitely be showing you guys more Taiwanese madness, not only from this beautiful 'golden age' but from some wacky-ass years prior. Some truly cool films that most of you probably have never seen....or heard of, for that matter. Seek these bad boys out! Stay tuned and enjoy.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Black Ransom (2010)

BLACK RANSOM (2010)



Just a quickie 'tweener post here. I've been really busy/as lazy as the day is long and don't really feel like posting much. So, here's my poster for the 2010 Wong Jing/Venus Keung Kwok-man co-directed crime film, BLACK RANSOM, starring Simon Yam Tat-wah, Michael Miu Kiu-wai, Andy On Chi-kit, and Fala Chen fa-la. Ya know....I saw this film last year and for the life of me I don't remember what the heck it was about? I assume it deals with ransom of the black variety? I do remember Miu being the bad guy and Yam sleepwalking through this one. Am I on the right track? Anyone?





I decided to post this poster as it was co-directed plus written and produced by the great Wong Jing. Yes, I did say great. I was researching the next This Week in Sleaze podcast, all about NAKED KILLER, and while I was writing some bits about Wong Jing, I veered into a direction where I began to rant a bit against his detractors. I won't go into it here as I hope to get into further discussion with Ken on the podcast. Ooooooh....a teaser! =)


Anyway, Ken and I will be recording our NAKED KILLER love making session next Friday and it should be out in the coming month. Get your lotions ready!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

This Week In Sleaze ep. 3 SEX AND ZEN Special

THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE ep. 3 SEX AND ZEN SPECIAL

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Episode 3 is on line! On the opening day of the much anticipated film (well, at least I am anticipating it) SEX AND ZEN 3:D EXTREME ECSTASY, Sleazy K and I discuss Michael Mak Dong-kit's HK cinema classic, SEX AND ZEN. Who better than a man named 'Dong' to direct such fun and filthy film and who better then 2 guys with tiny dongs to discuss the film? Not only do we riff on horse penises, Amy Yip's augmented ta-ta's, and flutes disappearing into hirsute vagina's, we lovingly explore the 1987 SEX AND ZEN precursor, YU PUI TSUEN II , directed by Ho Fan. Like a horse shmeckle in your mouth, here comes THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE ep. 3, SEX AND ZEN!!!

SEX AND ZEN (1991)

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Pictured above is a little piece of nostalgia for me. My Tai Seng SEX AND ZEN vhs. This was the first HK movie I ever bought. I have fond memories of watching this jaw dropper as a fine young lad of 19. It was the beginning of the end, after viewing this. Discovering HK cinema was much more that gun play and martial arts action. There was another type of action on display. And like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, or an awkward 19 year old rising in his slightly damaged jeans from Marshall's upon seeing Isabelle Chow and Rena Murakami play hide-the-flute, Kingwho? was born.

YU PUI TSUEN (1987)

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Here is my YU PUI TSIEN II vcd that I found in the 'adult' section of a shop in NYC Chinatown. It's worth the blushing and the sweat a few awkward glances give you as you flip through the naughty discs in the back of the store. If you don't, you run the risk of missing out on gems like this. Pictured below are some more movies from my collection and all are mentioned in the latest TWIS podcast. It's gooey fun!

YU PUI TSUEN III (1996)

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THE FORBIDDEN LEGEND: SEX AND CHOPSTICKS (2008)

- THE FORBIDDEN LEGEND: SEX AND CHOPSTICKS II (2009)

- JIN PIN MEI (1996)

- A CHINESE TORTURE CHAMBER STORY II (1998)

- LOVER OF THE LAST EMPRESS (1995)

- EROTIC GHOST STORY (1990)

- EROTIC GHOST STORY: PERFECT MATCH (1997)


- THE GOLDEN LOTUS: LOVE AND DESIRE (1991)


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Have you downloaded the podcast yet? WTF are you waiting for? Change into a fresh new pair of underoos and give it a listen already. Everything you wanted to know about SEX AND ZEN but were afraid to ask! I also expound, in our Last Sleazy Movies Watched segment, on a Charlie Ch0 Cha-lee rarity, ESCORT SERVICE aka WEST BIG HEAVEN KING.


ESCORT SERVICE aka WEST BIG HEAVEN KING (1993)


- I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner!


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The gang's all here!


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Cha-lee has a gay 'ol time in ESCORT SERVICE and you will also have sticky fun while listening to the show. Download this equine size load of a CAT III podcast right here. Get your box of tissues at the ready, or if you prefer, a hand towel, lay back and let the soothing sounds of Qing Dynasty dirtiness pound you deep into your soul.


Friday, April 8, 2011

Do it for Japan!


Hey ya'll! I'm really happy to hit you guys up with a special podcast that I was invited to be on by Ken and Stoo from the Podcast On Fire Network. After the devastation in Japan a few weeks back, the fine folks over at the POF Network immediately decided to record a benefit p-cast for Japan's relief. And it's finally here! And it's a 3+ hour corker! The first 40 or so minutes is just me, Ken, and Stoo bs-ing and going over some of our last movies watched, followed by Coffin Jon from another cool Asian cinema site and podcast,V Cinema. Then you guys will be treated to a phone call between Ken and actor/stuntman/comedian, John Kreng. Next up is a nice talk about the films of the rotund one, the wonderful Sammo Hung with Phil G. from Eastern Film Fans and friend of the show Mike Maley. And finally, a discussion on the sweet ass Korean film, THE CHASER, with Martin Cleary from New Korean Cinema. A movie so damn good that I once exclaimed, "I wish Hong Kong made it!" And then silently wept as I went back to watching a Jingle Ma film.

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To hear the podcast, click on over to the Podcast On Fire site and donate to one of the charities listed. If you can't be bothered to go to the POF site (F you then!), click here, here, here, or here, and after donating, email proof of your receipt to podcastonfire@googlemail.com. Then and only then my friends will you have access to the super cool Podcast On Fire benefit show as Stoo will email you the download link. ALL of the $ donated goes directly to the relief fund! You will be helping out a wonderful cause and also have the pleasure of hearing my lovely voice stutter and stammer! Helping Japan AND making fun of me. Good times! Thanks so much for helping out everyone. I really hope you enjoy the show!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Return of the Mail Lady! HK VHS!

Ms. Mail Lady struck again. She may have thrown out her back with this big box o' rocks? My dealer lovingly packaged my load of HK VHS with what appears to be an entire Urban Tulsa Weekly. Cheers from the Lone Star State! Though I had most of the movies in this tow, I just couldn't pass up these VHS as they are, of course, OOP, and the tiles so dang sexy! They were individually wrapped and more resembled bricks of coke! Similar buzz.



"Hi. How are you? My name is Elliot, and I'm with the Cub Scouts of America. We're selling uncut cocaine to get to the jamboree."


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15 golden era VHS for a cool hundy! Shipping included. Though I should really be saving for my upcoming wedding AND a place to live, it's a deal I just couldn't pass up! So, in a few months, you might find me living out of a storage facility. It would be worth it.


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So, here we go. From left to right: ROVER KILLER AND MADAM aka KILLER FLOWER(1992), BLOODY REVENGE aka SPY BLOOD THIRTEEN aka SPY THIRTEEN(1992), THE SWEET SMELL OF DEATH(1994), PINK PANTHER aka PINK KILLER aka ROGUE KILLER(1993), DARK STREET GIGOLO aka A DANCING BOY IN UNDERWORLD STREET aka BLACK STREET(1993). I actually found 2 World Video dvd's of PINK KILLER on the cobwebbed bottom shelf in the back of an old Chinatown shop in San Francisco on my last trip there. I also reviewed A DANCING BOY IN UNDERWORLD STREET few months back. THE SWEET SMELL OF DEATH is another cool rarity that I first saw last year. A cool genre mixer of thriller and comedy as only HK can pull off. ZEN OF SWORD(1992), NAUGHTY CADETS ON PATROL(1987), HEROES IN GAIL aka GANGS POWER(1992), LADY KILLER (1992), and LADIES IN OPERATIONS(1993). I had seen ZEN OF SWORD well over a dozen years ago as I first purchased it as a bootleg VHS. I also recently found a copies of HEROES IN GAIL and LADY KILLER (this is the Taiwanese film with Alexander Lo Rei not the similarly titled cut and paste film from the same year) by 'other' means. So stoked to get my hands on a legit copy. Well, as legit a World Video VHS can be?! NAUGHTY CADETS ON PATROL is a film that I have never seen available in any format so for $4 and change, I think I won a prize? Also, LADIES IN OPERATIONS I have never seen in any format. That one goes directly on top of the 'must watch' pile.


And finally, SEA EAGLE(1995), RAVE FEVER aka X-MAS RAVE FEVER(1999), HUNTING LIST aka KILL EXTREMELY(1994), SUBURB MURDER(1992), and GIRL GANG aka SEXY PLAYGIRLS(1993). I was able to find SEA EAGLE before in a previous Ms. Mail Lady package, but for a few bucks, why not have an extra copy on hand? I have the VCD for HUNTING LIST as well as an old bootleg VHS where I originally saw the film. Great, great TRUE ROMANCE knock-off from Chu Yen-ping. Really excited to get SUBURB MURDER and GIRL GANG on VHS as I have them in VCD format as well as the DVD for GIRL GANG. Nasty CAT III fun those last two! Looking forward to revisiting them in loving VHS format.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Coolest HK Movies You Have Never Seen. Part 1



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CRAZY LESBIAN WOODCHOPPER aka TWO GIRLS FACED (1995)

Sporting one of the best alternative titles I have ever seen, CRAZY LESBIAN WOODCHOPPER, is, alas, only a fan-made moniker. The actual film is a slow, slow, CAT III burner from 1995 called TWO GIRLS FACED. The film does get a touch nutty, it does have some lady lovers, and there is an axe or two in the proceedings to ring true it's silly aka title. Clocking in at just under 80 minutes, incorporating HK type mayhem (as you can see in the vid above), and adding some bump and grind, TWO GIRLS FACED is instantly fan friendly. The only notable faces in this fun mess are Alvina Kong Yan-yin and the always nasty delight, William Ho Ka-kui.





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NOBODY'S HERO (1989)



NOBODY'S HERO is Hong Kong's most direct answer to Scorcese's TAXI DRIVER. Possessing similar stories and desperate performances by the respective leads, NOBODY'S HERO proves that a hero ain't nuttin' but a sandwich. NOBODY'S HERO is at times sweet and playful, eventually careening out of control, before spiraling downward into one of the most shocking and effective ultra violence climaxes put to HK celluloid. A true visceral experience and not only the coolest but one of the BEST HK films you have never seen. Liu Wai-hung, who is more of a comedic presence in films, is totally transformed by films end into a sympathetic vigilante. I also posted this on my FB page, this video reminding me of a bit of Travis Bickle dialogue from Taxi Driver, "Listen, you f**kers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the c**ts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up." Also look for a vicious performance by Sunny Fang Kang. What a scumbag!





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WHORE AND POLICEWOMAN (1993)



I have mentioned this beautiful gem a few times before, once giving you guys a gander at my poster and again blabbering and stuttering my way through a review on the first episode of This Week in Sleaze. Another wonderful title is not wasted as kick-buns HK copper Michicko Nishiwaki and happy hooker Julia Cheng Yim-lai befriend each other and fight their way through baddie henchmen in order to uncover some dirty deeds done by villain, Charlie Cho Cha-lee. It's a jumpy CAT III action romp that is a touch rare and will scratch you right where you itch. Though I'm really not sure where you guys are itchin'? But Charlie Cho will gladly rub some lotion on your troubled area for you. He really cares.



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I have a bunch of hidden HK gems that I'm hoping to post here in this short video form. Keeping it simple and stupid. Quick, easy....and fun! Some you may have seen or just heard of and some you might have no clue about? These will be the COOLEST HK movies you have never seen. Promise.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Leslie Cheung: In Memoriam


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R.I.P Gor Gor (Sept.12, 1956- April 1, 2003)


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The above scene in Cheung's 2000 film, DOUBLE TAP, is one of my favorite HK cinema scenes of all time. It is the first scene that immediately springs to mind when someone mentions Cheung's name. I truly believe his emotions in this scene are actual and not acting. The emotions are palpable and really shook me upon first seeing the film years ago.


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Here is a cheesy little review I did for cityonfire.com back in 2001 when I first saw the film. It's one of my earliest reviews and it shows:



Atmosphere plays heavily in this creepy psychological/horror/gun flick. Sure the characters aren't well defined but they rarely are in HK cinema. The mood of the film, which plays very downbeat, adds to the anguish of Leslie Cheung's character. His portrayal of a mentally disturbed 'gun-king' is very intense. Scenes of his attempts at suicide singe your memory and are still there days later. Double Tap's Leslie Cheung rivals Lau Ching-Wan's slightly touched character in Ringo Lam's 'The Victim". Another psychological character study that switches off the brain of it's lead and a film with an equally unsettling atmosphere. Double Tap, warts and all, is definitely worth a look, and to it's detractors, try it again.


It's a crap review but it follows my rules: KISS. Keep It Simple, Stupid. Because that is what I am. Simple and stupid. =)