Bullets Over Chinatown

Rebekah- 藝壇照妖鏡之96應召名冊 (1996) Revisited!!!!

2011-12-30T10:42:00.000-08:00

REBEKAH (1996)

I treated myself to an Xmas present. It came a few days late but, like with all things CAT III, better late than never. The cinema poster for the jiggly 1996 film, REBEKAH. I've posted about the film REBEKAH before. It is a favorite of mine (most CAT III's are favorites, mind you) and it stars the gargantuan boobed lovely, Cammy Choi Mei-laan. No augmented Amy Yippers here. And in REBEKAH, Ms. Choi shows us a lot of the good stuff. Rest assured, folks. The poster image is actually blurry. The years of touching yourself have not funked up your eyes. Your eyes are ok.

Check out my old REBEKAH post here. Complete with an ancient review I wrote for cityonfire.com and a brief video clip. Enjoy!

What Did Santa Have For Me In His Huge Sack?

2011-12-27T18:41:00.000-08:00

OVERHEARD 2, WU XIA

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I unfortunately caught the cooties this year and had the sniffles, The cooties has transformed itself into full blown misery and I am now bundled up on the sofa, out of work for the day. The $30 I paid for Mucinex turned out to be a waste and I'm only a few short key strokes away from enjoying a Nyquil cocktail. Not feeling up to writing much (as I sneeze, missing the crook of my arm, and spew snot all over my laptop screen) so just a quickie here on all of the gooey goodness Santa dumped on me. That's me, pictured below, covered in HK VHS ecstasy. Santa's sack was a full load! Here's another look!

Aside from a few newer flicks, Santa went to town and worked me over with a heaping help of HK VHS. A bunch or rare and obscure titles this Xmas. Santa gave it to me, and gave it to me good. Check out my new babies....

BEACH SPIKE, THE LOST BLADESMAN

AN AFFAIRE WITH A GHOST, SLEEPLESS IN TAIPEI

DON'T CALL ME GIGOLO, THE DEADLY ROSE

THE UNDERGROUND BANKER, PHANTOM WAR

THE SAD STORY OF SAIGON, THE WIDOW

THRILLING STORY, GUILTY OR INNOCENT

LIU CHAI GHOST STORY, DRAGON BALL: THE MAGIC BEGINS

HONEY BEE, LEE SEE FUNG

DEADLY DESIRE, MY FLYING WIFE

POLICE WOMEN STORY, TEMPTATION OF THE SPIRITUAL WORLD

THE GHOST OF THE FOX, A WOMAN AND A MAN '93

SUPER HEROES, SWITCH OVER

GUN & ROSES

FATAL LOVE, THE POWER OF LOVE

?,?

? (with Robert Mak Tak-law), ?

?,?

Happy Holidays, ya'll! And don't forget to keep the X in Xmas!

Nyquil....here I come!

Merry Xmas from Bullets Over Chinatown!

2011-12-24T10:05:00.000-08:00

Out of the mouth of babes.....

Liu Jai: Home For The Intimate Ghosts- 聊齋花弄月(1991)

2011-12-20T16:36:00.000-08:00

Liu Jai: Home For The Intimate Ghosts (1991)

Director Lam Yee-hung's LIU JAI: HOME FOR THE INTIMATE GHOSTS is an erotic ghost story retread before erotic ghost story retreads became fashionable. And it's a dang fine one! Yee-hung brims his erotic ghost boobies story with copious amounts of coitus and comely starlets dressed way, way down.

Of interest, to me at least, is that the starlets on display in the film aren't the usual band of bang-abouts. No Rena Otomo's, Yau Yuk-yue's, or Chan Poo Kei's. These no name nubiles shed their clothes and we are all the better for it. Much, much, much skin is on display (and I even spotted a third input!). These lovely hirsute maidens look to have Buckwheat in a leg-lock, but I suppose their untrimmed hedges were part of the actresses immersing themselves in their period piece roles?

Lam Yee Hung can be artsy fartsy when he chooses, praying at the altar of Ho Fan, but usually keeps it low brow enough to not cross over into 'art over smut.' The smut to art ratio lovingly favors the former. Charlie Cho livens things up as a taoist Ghostbuster who uses his 'ghost-fu' to do away with the naughty specters. There's also an appearance by Shaw hottie Siu Yam Yam, who was pretty prolific in the early 90's CAT III era, even adding story, planning, and writing credits to her naughty legacy. The T&A on display is only half the fun. Wire work fisticuffs and laser-beam effects push the film over into pure joy.

HK Laserdiscs! Would you like some?

2011-12-11T10:46:00.000-08:00

OK, folks. I have FINALLY taken my lazy pants off and put my stained tighty whitey work undies on. I got down to business this past weekend and went through ALL of my LD's and cataloged them. I weeded out my doubles and triples and have provided them in the list below. Unfortunately the titles are rather pedestrian and nothing too cool or obscure. With the exception of one or two. Oh. And the final count of LD's............805!!! I couldn't believe it myself. Can you say, "HK movie loser?" I know you can! Anyway, if anyone is interested in trading or buying, let me know. I only have three that have original covers and they have been listed as such. Take a gander....

The Inspector Wears Skirts IV

Royal Tramp

Royal Tramp II

Destination 9th Heaven

Chungking Express

Crime Story

Psycho Killer

Taxi Hunter

City Hunter

Master Wong Vs. Master Wong

Hero of Hong Kong 1949

Once Upon a Time in China IV

Growing Up

Love and the City

Full Contact

We're No Bad Guys

Boy's?

The Thief of Time

Legend of the Chiu Chow Brothers

Love...Amoeba Style

Don't Give a Damn

God of Gamblers III: Back to Shanghai

Ashes of Time

The Bodyguard From Beijing

Man Wanted

Fist and Guts

Fussy Ghost

Wicked City

My Father is a Hero

The Story of Pei-li

The New Marvelous Double (in bad shape)

My Body, Your Soul

Cause We Are So Young

Deadful Melody

All Men Are Brothers: Blood of the Leopard

End of the Road

The Most Wanted

I Will Wait For You

Returning

Awakening (Yam and Wong)

Laughter of Water Margins

Black Cat

Wild

Lucky Encounter

The Twin Dragons

Wonder Seven

Fong Sai Yuk

Tian Di

Iron Monkey II

One of the Lucky Ones (has cover)

A Woman and a Man '93

Daughter of Darkness

Amour

Hong Kong Valentino

Come on Girls

Satin Steel

The Dare Devils

Talk To Me Dicky

The Blade

Informer (has cover)

Erotic Hero Tale

Angel Hunter

Beyond

The Red Wolf
Nobody Ever Cheats
A Gleam of Hope

Hi Sir (has cover)

Hong Kong Godfather (Andy Lau)

Touch and Go

Does anything tickle your pickle? Also, be advised that I have not tested any of these so I'm not certain about the picture quality. I will definitely do so if you ask nicely!

CASH ON DELIVERY- 與鴨共舞 (1992)

2011-12-10T10:04:00.000-08:00

Cash On Delivery (1992)

Simon Yam Tat-wah made a mint portraying a HK 'duck' (gigolo) in a bunch of movies from the hey day. And who better to portray a gigolo then Yam? I'd do him! New wave director Terry Tong Gei-ming slid down (or up? Depending on how you see things) the slide from strong early 80's crime pics like COOLIE KILLER, THE PIER, and YELLOW PERIL, into the industries standards for action with SEVEN WARRIORS, eventually ending up in smut town with the first GIGOLO AND WHORE film and this definitive 90's piece of trash, CASH ON DELIVERY.

The film pairs the suave Yam with the damn fine Veronica Yip Yuk-hing to sex things up and adds a little Sandra Ng Kwun-yu for guffaws. It's a mish mash affair that combines the steamy, the silly, and the serious as only a HK film can do. The patented HK cinema way- let's throw a ton of shit up on the screen and see what sticks- of filmmaking is lovingly employed and we are all better off for it. Good on you Mr. Tong. Tong would continue his 'slide' upward in the CAT III genre and go on to co-direct the fun sex doc. ALL OVER THE WORLD and then the shot on vid Kara Hui Ying-hung stinker HEART OF DANGER aka FATAL LOVE, before calling it a day.

Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.....

...nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom...

The Haunted Madam- 師姐撞邪 (1986)

2011-11-25T10:54:00.000-08:00

THE HAUNTED MADAM (1986)

Back when HK cinema bred invention by lack of pocket book, movies like the 1986 spooky kooky action comedy hybrid THE HAUNTED MADAM were part an parcel the energizing efforts that made the west take notice. For me, anyway. For all of the straight up Jackie Chan rope ladder stunting and John Woo double fist pump blazing, there were a ton of wonderfully odd marriages of genre. Like this film.

As the story goes, 4 comely lady coppers visit a fortune teller who relays their unfortunate fate. And as the stars of the film usually pan out until the end, some of these lovely little Indians actually meet their maker. Sometimes in brutal fashion.

As I'm hard pressed for dialogue these days I'll let the pictures do the talking. I've been lucky enough to grab a hold of this great films theatrical poster and lobby cards. The poster came straight outta HK but the lobby cards came from north of the border. No, not Shenzhen. My border. Canada. The great white tundra.
Enjoy!

Chinatown At Random

2011-11-16T17:30:00.000-08:00

I'm caught up in the throes of my first cold of the season. As the used tissues pile up and my snot flows freely, I'm not really up to posting much. I have often flirted with abandoning this sometimes long winded blog in favor of a more snappier picture laden Tumblr blog. More pics less blah blah yada yada. So, as I sip my ginger tea and buzz away on Dayquil, here are a bunch of random pics that I took via IPhone on my last two trips into NYC Chinatown.

Yao's Dragon Beard Candy @ Canal and Bowery

Dragon Beard Candy. I also have a video of this guy making this treat. Wasn't able to eat any. A day or so later Wei's mom thought it went bad and tossed it. She had no clue what it was?!

For all of your funeral needs, shop Hing Tai Co.!

Kick ass C-town FDNY truck.

Delicious Da Bao @ Hop Shing, Chatham Sq.

The inner workings of the Da Bao; pork, Chinese sausage, eggs, among other mysteries

We tried a new place instead of going to our usual spot, Big Wong's. I wasn't impressed as I ordered my usual, but Wei had the roast duck fried noodles and they were tasty.

My usual C-town fare of roast pork, roast duck, and a fried egg over white rice.

Ekin!

Sammi!

Wei, on the phone with her mom, asking what fatty treats we should bring home. The roast pork and chicken bun was the winner.

Fatal Passion- 致命的誘惑 (1990)

2011-11-09T18:09:00.000-08:00

FATAL PASSION (1990)

One of my new favorite posters for the 1990 thrillerama (thats thriller-drama), FATAL PASSION, starring Alex Man Chi-leung, Eddy Cheung Siu-fai, Nancy Chang Mei-chi, Cher Yeung Suet-yee, and a small bit by Lo Lieh. It's a sultry and sexy HK clone of Fatal Attraction. It even has the word FATAL in the title. How original?! But in true to HK cinema form, a hitman is included for the action fans.

Admittedly, I had never heard of the film until I saw this poster. It gave me such a wonderful feeling in my loins that I sprang into action and sought the film out. Lucky me, I found a torrent of the film somewhere in the deep dark nether regions of CAT III cyberspace. Mazel Tov to the uploader!

By no means a memorable film and I can say that with confidence because I spun it a few months back and today I couldn't tell you what the heck happened? But this poster is HOT!!!!

Killing In The Nude- 獻身 (1985)

2011-11-04T20:16:00.000-07:00

KILLING IN THE NUDE (1985)

Salacious title, OK film. But it has naughty bits, so we love it anyway. Director Lee Tso-nam might be more recognized for some of his more bizarre Taiwanese films from the late 80's (KUNG FU WONDER CHILD, MAGIC WARRIORS, and MAGIC AMETHYST) than his cheapo 'chop-socky' exploits from the 70's, but his decent little number finds a home somewhere in between. Mixing vagina and vengeance, but mostly vagina, KILLING IN THE NUDE is a meager success and a worthy precursor to the period piece CAT III films from HK in the early 90's and a direct descendant of the sensually pleasurable nudies from the Shaw Bros. studios in the 70's.

The movie boast Shaw Bros. vamp, Ai Ti, as the main attraction but it's Kim Gee-mei as Orchid and Yagami Yasuko as Orchids kid sis, Hao Hao, who really get to sex and sin it up in the pic. KILLING IN THE NUDE is a lady avenger flick that my kick-ass poster makes look a lot better than it is. It's still a fun period (who knew periods could be this fun?) romp that, after wading through hokey drama and a few fleshy scenes, lives up to it's title in the end. Yowza!

Love To Kill- 虐之戀 (1993)

2011-10-31T16:45:00.000-07:00

LOVE TO KILL (1993)

Anthony Wong Chau-sang F's things up once again as he don's his early 90's scumbag pants and terrorizes his poor wife in the appropriately inappropriate nasty roughie gem, LOVE TO KILL. Figured I would post this on Halloween as this is a horror story of a different kind. No masked men with machetes. No hopping vampires or ghosts and goblins. This madman operates in plain sight.

Wong's socio/psychopathic persona is solidified in this role as a jealous wife beating/raping/torturing piece of shit. Directed by Wong Jing buddy, Billy Chung Siu-hung, who has had a middling career for the most part but has outlasted his peers and continues to direct at least half way decent efforts to this day. Watching LOVE TO KILL, you can see that Chung is more than capable a director. The CAT III flavor of the day is ever present as filth and silliness permeate the film, punching up a bit of pop pathos.

Cop of the town, Danny Lee Sau-yin, dons the badge again as copper with a cool name, Fire Ball Hung. Bad ass moniker aside, he's a cop with a heart of gold (and maybe some sexy ulterior motives?) as he takes in the tormented Elizabeth Lee Mei-fung, the battered wife of Wong, and their young son. This doesn't sit well with Mr. Wong and he plans on getting his family back by any means necessary. CAT III sexpot Julie Lee Wa-yuet also stars and plays Lee's grating girlfriend.

LOVE TO KILL is one of those uneasy/queasy misogynist CAT III films from the salad days. Kinda lost in the shuffle of nastiness but undeservedly so. It's real life horror, and all of the rape, torture, and murder aside, there is one particular scene that disgusts me more than the sadism excess that is shown throughout. Early on in the film, Wong and his missus are eating at a dai pai dong. Wong thinks that his wife is making eyes at a man across the way and proceeds to violently pinch her leg under the table. To keep her in line and claim his ownership. Mark his territory. I feel that pinch. And it F's me up every dang time. Who the F does something like that? The bloodletting puts the asses in seats and plays well on screen but something so simple yet violent as a pinch is the most shocking image. For me anyway. The caveman ideals of Wong's domestic violence is real life horror. Plain and simple.

Kickboxer's Tears- 新龍爭虎鬥 (1992)

2011-10-27T14:08:00.000-07:00

KICKBOXER'S TEARS (1992)

Ooooohhhhhh! A CAT III kicker corker this is? Well CAT III rated yes, but CAT III shenanigans not so much. But just because there isn't any T&A on display doesn't mean you should trash bin this very fine fist and foot fighting pic. KICKBOXER'S TEARS is a simple action/revenger starring cutesy Moon Lee Choi-fung, Yukari Oshima, Mark Cheng Ho-nam, Wilson Lam Jun-yin, Shum Wai, Ken Lo Wai-kwong, Gabriel Wong Yat-san, Jimmy Lung Fong, and Billy Chow Bei-lei, who plays his usual asshole character.

Sleazy K and I are planning an upcoming This Week In Sleaze show centered around the shit heel exploits of Billy Chow, namely in the classic films, ROBOTRIX and ESCAPE FROM BROTHEL. Hopefully that podcast will come out sooner than later. But the hub-bub of my upcoming nuptials and the fact that I'm too dang lazy to put in any research time probably means later than sooner. And to further my laziness for ya'll, instead of throwing together a cheesy little Bullets Over Chinatown video for KICKBOXER'S TEARS, I decided to post some Youtube clips of the film. Laziness is next to godliness.

Hong Kong VHS Mess

2011-10-25T19:19:00.000-07:00

POSSESSED (1994), QUENCHLESS DESIRE (1993)

POSSESSED is a 1994 film starring Ken Tong Jan-yip. I have the film as a DVD-r and if I remember correctly, the databases mislabel it as a CAT II. Which was a lovely surprise when I watched it! I have also seen QUENCHLESS DESIRE and have it as a DVD-r as well. Don't remember a damn thing about it, though.

Ok. So most of you readers know my situation. 'Broke' and having a heck of a time looking for a place to live before I get married in a few months. Money is precious, more than ever before, and needs to be horded away. I can't afford to spend money in the coming months and have Ms. Mail Lady pay me her usual visits. This coming X-mas is figuring to be lean but exactly 2 months away from Santa's visit, it's beginning to look a lot like X-mas past around here. I'm running the risk of interrogation by Wei if she were to see this post and believe that this is a brand spankin' new batch of movies. Luckily, she rarely visits the blog these days. But just in case she does.....Hi babe. These aren't new movies. I've been diligently saving my money like a good little boy. =) So, with that preface, I will let you decide if this is a new batch of VHS from Ms. Mail Lady. *cough* *wink* *smiley tongue out winky face*

FORBIDDEN LOVE (1993) , THE TANGLES LOVE (1992)

I have seen FORBIDDEN LOVE before, once again as a DVD-r, and once again, I remember nada. THE TANGLES LOVE I was lucky enough to find during my big laser disc haul. So this copy is just icing on an an awesome CAT III cake.

HONG KONG VALENTINO (1993) , PROSTITUTE (1992)

I have HONG KONG VALENTINO on laser disc. It is a trifle thin but so are most CAT III sex romps. And that's not a bad thing. When Lee Chung-ling is in the cast, it's worthy of a once over. PROSTITUTE is a fairly fun CAT III comedy from 1992 directed by Lam Yee-hung. A director no stranger to filming boobies, gosh love him. PROSTITUTE stars one of my faves, Cindy Yip Sin-yi, and she gives us what we want. A fine performance, of course. And check out the great cover art. I am just so enamored with Tai Seng cover art from the early to mid 90's. Always so brightly colorful and inviting. As well they should be. Upon seeing the cover of PROSTITUTE I had flashbacks to my virgin HK cinema days and discovering a video store that had Tai Seng VHS as far as the eye could see. These VHS covers just do it for me. I would have sex with these VHS sleeves if possible. Is it possible? I'll let ya'll know.

HIDDEN DESIRE (1991), THE NEVER ENDING LOVE STORY (1994)

HIDDEN DESIRE is a fun little diddy starring our bosomy beloved Veronica Yip Yuk-hing and directed by soft core erotic-meister, Ho Fan. Also appearing are CAT III sex pot Rena Murakami and CAT III cocksman, the one, the only, Charlie Cho Cha-lee. THE NEVER ENDING LOVE STORY is a dramatic CAT III potboiler starring Vincent Lam Wai and Michael Wong Man-tak as friends who vie for the affections of nutso hottie. Are there any other kind? And, Yes! It's THAT Michael Wong Man-tak.

DEVIL SEX LOVE ( 1993) , PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL RAPIST (1994)

I've reviewed DEVIL, SEX, LOVE before. You can find that fun HERE. PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL RAPIST is a Danny Lee Sau-yin shot on video Magnum opus that decently jumps on the CAT III train and rides it as far as a shot on video production can go. Which is not far. Still, it has enough dirtiness for the fans. It's mostly available unsubbed, as is this VHS. I also have the DVD and VCD. Because I'm cool.

EVIL INSTINCT (1996) , CRAZY EMPEROR (1993)

EVIL INSTINCT is a mostly lame adult film starring Carrie Ng Ka-li and 'Mystical Breasts' Diana Pang Dan. I don't remember much about the film except for a decent Pang Dan shower scene. Alas, Mystical breasts took her cues from Amy Yip and hides the fun parts. CRAZY EMPEROR is kinda rare, I suppose. That being said, I also have the VCD and laser disc. So, maybe it isn't so rare? It is a heavily cut adult film that does provide some period piece nakedness.

THE SPIRITUAL LOVE (1992) , A WILD PARTY (1993)

THE SPIRITUAL LOVE is a rather laboring erotic ghost story starring Emily Chu Bo-yee. Boy, did Emily's film career take a certain nosedive after appearing in ROUGE in 1988. from A list films like A BETTER TOMORROW and MILLIONAIRE'S EXPRESS to B grade films like this one and ANGEL OR WHORE. Ain't nothing wrong with that! A WILD PARTY completes my superfecta. I now have this CAT III crapfest starring the late great Pauline Chan Bo-lin in all 4 formats. VHS, DVD, VCD, and laser disc. Lucky me.

Here's a really fun book for us HK film nerds. 'Film Pilgrimage' shuttles us on a movie tour of the Big Lychee taking snapshots of various film locations. Kinda like what I have been doing HERE and HERE. The book is not English friendly though and, as you can see in the picture below, is entirely in Chinese. Thankfully for global fans, all locations are labeled with the film title in English. Another drawback is that the pictures are kinda small. Also, there are no comparative pictures. Meaning there are no pictures from the location as seen in the movie placed up against the actual updated picture of the location. I'm sure this was most definitely thought about but getting rights to use a picture from each film was most likely too costly. It's easier to yoink pics from films and post in blog form.

Minor flaws aside, this is a worthy book entry for HK film fans/snobs. There is also a great forward by HKCinemagic webmaster, Thomas Podvin. Visit Thomas' indispensable site HERE for more info on the book as well as how to order. It's surefire toilet bowl reading. And for me, that's the highest rating I can give a book. That being said, if you ever visit my home, don't touch my HK film books. They have been 'red flagged' and accompany me to the throne daily.

Podcast On Fire 97 - CITY ON FIRE special!

2011-10-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

Still no THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE in sight but Sleazy K and I got together once again for a regular Podcast On Fire Episode 97. But those looking for CAT III hijinx, don't fret. I have a potty mouth and I use it! It's our POF-COF show where we bs about the awesomeness that is CITY ON FIRE. Nooooooo. Not THAT CITY ON FIRE. There's no Chow Yun-fat or Danny Lee in this episode. But you will get talk-talk about Taiwanese Black Movies, Hwang Jang Lee and the wondrous IFD, and the debut of the 'Hot Seat' where K puts me on the spot and grills me with life or death questions.

Also debuting on this episode is Kingwho's? Clip of the Week. You see, if you are cool and one of my Facebook chums, you would get to see all of the neato little clips I post. I inundate your news feed with my silly nonsense and you have no damn choice but to like it! Anyway, this week's clip is from the sorely underrated and mostly forgotten about action-comedy, BOGUS COPS from 1993. Directed by and starring Beardy Kar-yan, this film also sports Eric Tsang Chi-wai acting like a horse's ass, AIDS humor (because AIDS is funny, don't ya know?) and the gosh dang drop dead gorgeous Veronica Yip Yuk-hing giving us a panty peek all the while vibrating as she sprays and prays with a big bad machine gun. There's something for everyone! Enjoy a little peek of BOGUS COPS, and Ronnie's panties, below. See. I keep it CAT III for you guys. Listen to the goodness over @ the Podcast On Fire network.

Visible Secret- 幽靈人間 (2001)

2011-10-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

VISIBLE SECRET (2001)

Below, check out this review I wrote once upon a time and posted over at my old stomping grounds, CityOnFire.Com. And when you're done snickering at my amateur writing, click on over to Podcast Without Honor and Humanity and check out the mellifluous voice of the podcast-o-sphere's one man gang, Jake 'The Snake', as he yakety yaks (and no one talks back) about Ann Hui's 2001 moody horror piece, and topic of this post, VISIBLE SECRET. Oh, and take a gander at my mini poster as well!

The possible proof of Visible Secret's existence is the box office success of The Sixth Sense. The later film lends more than just a ghost story to it's HK counterpart. While there isn't a blond haired, blue-eyed kid freaking people out, there's Shu Qi. She takes over as the creepy mortal with a link to the afterlife. Popular female art-house director Ann Hui returns to haunted territory; she also directed The Secret (1979) and The Spooky Bunch (1980), and gorgeously saturates the proceedings with the genres spooky green and blue hues. As the story is told, Eason Chan plays Peter, an out of work hair stylist who meets the enigmatic June, Shu Qi, in a nightclub. Their encounter is more than kismet. June is a free 'spirit' haunted by a memory from the past. With her she brings the tormented baggage of a 15 year old malignant spirit, bent on revenge, into Peter's life. This culminates in the death of Peter's father. June's mysterious character is as unsettling as the atmosphere that permeates the film. All sorts of ghastly goings on turn the ghost story into the arcane, and Hui's arty background prevents the film from becoming too exploitative. Exploitation, though, might have been in order. The film doesn't illicit much edge of your seat chills for the genre it employs. The film becomes a head scratcher and nothing is offered in the way of explanation until the final frames,a surprise ending nod to The Sixth Sense, which in itself is ponderous. Lending support to the two leads are Wayne Lai, Sam Lee, Cheung Tat-ming, and an unforgettable, albeit brief, appearance by Anthony Wong. The eerie milieu of Visible Secret is one of the most beautiful sights I've seen in a HK film in recent memory. From it's beautiful deep hue of color, to it's creepy deserted nighttime landscapes, to it's characters and story steeped in spiritual Chinese lore. As complicated as the film turns out, the satisfaction of watching a film worthy of it's superstitious convictions is as rich as it's haunting cinematography.

Stooges in Tokyo- 不文小丈夫之銀座嬉春 (1991)

2011-10-17T13:26:00.000-07:00

STOOGES IN TOKYO (1991)

Recently, I was in a bit of a randy head space (this is a common feeling, of course) and decided to double-bill two James Wong Jim docu/mocku travelogues about sexual shenanigans in and around the Fragrant Harbor. KEY TO FORTUNE and UNDER THE ROSE both plant tongue firmly between cheeks as we tour along the seedier side of HK with our trusted guide Uncle Jim.

Uncle Jim was somewhat of a Renaissance man in the HK entertainment industry. While it was not uncommon to have actors moonlight as recording artist and vice versa, Uncle Jimmy was also an accomplished film composer. Among the 50 or so films James scored were PEKING OPERA BLUES, A CHINESE GHOST STORY, DRAGONS FOREVER, SWORDSMAN, BULLET IN THE HEAD, and ONCE UPON A TIME IN CHINA.

So, along with being an actor, composer, writer, director, and talk show host, James was HK's resident dirty uncle. A tried and true perv and a reliable source for helping you acquiring an STD. Other films that gave us sex the Wong Jim way were THE WILD GOOSE CHASE, JAMES WONG IN JAPAN AND KOREA, SCREWBALL '94, STOOGES IN HONG KONG, and it's companion film, for which I have this awesome scroll-like poster, STOOGES IN TOKYO.

If your lookin' for a fun and dirty good time, turn on to any of the aforementioned Uncle Jim flicks and let this scamp lead you through the fray of HK naughtiness so you can sow your wild oats. Just make sure your HMO covers a shot of penicillin. You'll be needing one.

Podcast On Fire + This Week In Sleaze = Commentary On Fire: RED TO KILL DVD COMMENTARY!

2011-10-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

RED TO KILL (1994)

Is there a dirtier film in HK cinema that RED TO KILL? Well, there might be something more sleazier out there starring Charlie Cho Cha-lee or Stuart Ong, but nothing matches the warped sensibilities of this Billy Tang Sing-hin's brutal rape-revenger from 1994. So, with that in mind, a DVD commentary was born. RED TO KILL, though tough to look at, is very accessible and ripe for a cursory once over. Joining Sleazy K and I is the Podcast On Fire Network's master squawker, Stoo, a newbie to films of this ilk. Stoo was a RED TO KILL virgin as we started recording and afterwards made a beeline for the showers, hacking at his dirty pubes like Lily Chung Suk-wai and muttering to himself, "Dirty. My parts are dirty. Dirty. Dirty. Dirty."

As for me, this audio commentary was a first. I am not one to listen to audio commentaries on special edition discs because, frankly speaking, I don't give a damn. STOP TALKING OVER THE MOVIE YOU SELF IMPORTANT TURD!!! Well, that is how I generally feel, and I went into the commentary with reservations. Especially while choosing such a visually visceral film as RED TO KILL. I didn't want to ruin the film while yakking over it. To me it was the equivalent of an asshole in a movie theater whisper-shouting his commentary on every scene. I want to punch that douche in the face and now, I was that douche! But, I soldiered on and gave it a go and, for the most part, personally speaking, it went pretty well. The commentary itself is solid. But, more than once you can find me mumbling and bumbling like a fool as I was caught just watching the film (for the umpteenth time) and not giving the majority of my attention to the commentary banter. It was a good time regardless and I would definitely be up for another one.

You can listen to the commentary HERE, or if you are more adventurous, you can download the film + commentary HERE (It's an avi. file via Megaupload). If you dig commentaries, check out the other babblers in the Podcast On Fire Networks audio commentary section HERE. Commentaries include THE SEVENTH CURSE, KING OF COMEDY, MR. VAMPIRE 2, ISLAND ON FIRE, SCARED STIFF, EASTERN CONDORS, ENTER THE FAT DRAGON, and MISMATCHED COUPLES. Enjoy and any feedback will be much appreciated.

Go ahead. Give it a listen. Or else Donnie will breakdance.

Body Lover- 貼身情人 (1993)

2011-10-05T16:47:00.000-07:00

BODY LOVER (1993)

One of my favorite posters here for the cheesy chic low budget booby-actioner, BODY LOVER, directed by Jeng Kin-ping. The poster was a huge surprise in a great care package given to me by a buddy a few months back. I love it oodles. Kin-ping is only listed on the databases as having directed only 3 films; the beautiful nasty SUBURB MURDER, the excellent low class crime rump shaker, HONG KONG EVA, and it's kinda sequel, BODY LOVER. Kin-ping has scored the perfect trifecta of heyday CAT III sleaze worthy of any rainy Sunday afternoon (or any other day for that matter) bullets and boobies HK film marathon. In wonderful meager budget fashion, the first 5 or so minutes of BODY LOVER is the finale of HONG KONG EVA. The stories and characters forwarded in BODY LOVER appear to be completely different than those from HONG KONG EVA, though a few of the same actors return. All three of Kin-ping's opuses are fast, cheap, and outta control. Seek them out and love them. I posted about BODY LOVER once before. Check that post out here. Also, enjoy this silly overstated action scene featuring Julie Lee Wa-yuet as a fatal femme kicking some booty. And she is fully clothed for a change!

Touch and Go- 一觸即發 (1991)

2011-10-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

TOUCH AND GO aka POINT OF NO RETURN (1991)

Poster for the underwhelming, from what I remember (which isn't much), Sammo Hung Kam-bo-Teresa Mo Sun-kwan action film, TOUCH AND GO. The usual mad dog style director Ringo Lam tries to compromise his style with that of the rotund one and the outcome is a somewhat entertaining mix of excitement and guffaws. While not quite near the top of either man's best vehicles, Ringo and Sammo are a fair match made in HK cinema heaven and Ringo is still able to imbue the film with an edge while letting Sammo do what he does best, be chunky and chuckle inducing. Far from a classic but a solid watch.

Magic Cop- 驅魔警察 (1990)

2011-10-01T17:04:00.000-07:00

MAGIC COP- (1990)

Pretty good lookin' poster for MAGIC COP, a well done black magic fun film circa 1990 and directed by the great actor/action director, Stephen Tung Wai. No one eyebrowed Taoist priest this go-round for the wonderful Lam Ching-ying but a similar typecast role none the less as he plays a two eyebrowed Taoist priest/cop. We get all of the Taoist spooks and spells associated with the best Lam Ching-ying efforts and some fun comedy provided by Michael Miu Kiu-wai and Wilson Lam Jun-yin as non believer buddy cops. A bad ass Michiko Nishiwaki and Billy Chow Bei-lei tandem round out the cast as the freaky foils in this swift and entertaining heyday hocus pocus actioner.

Mail Call!!! Kingwho? Spends Money He Shouldn't Have!

2011-09-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

HONG KONG ADAMS FAMILY, THE TRANSMIGRATION ROMANCE

I've been a baaaaaad boy. I'm hoping Wei doesn't see this post as I'm supposed to be saving money for our wedding and a place to live. But that whore/goddess Ebay flashed me her goodies once again and I just couldn't resist. I'm a horndog for those sweet, luscious, and beautiful HK/Taiwanese movies. Above is the HK oddity, HONG KONG ADAM'S FAMILY, starring an all-star dream cast; Chan wai-man, Sek Kin, Shing Fui-on, Jimmy Lung Fong, Shum Wai, Lee Shu-kei, Wu Fung, William Ho Ka-kui, Maria Cordero, and Karel Wong Chi-yeung. THE TRANSMIGRATION ROMANCE is a VHS that I once had but lost while moving house many moons ago. I hadn't seen it way back when and am so stoked to have it back! Cynthia Khan and Carter Wong Ka-tat star. I recently got this one in as a DVD-r as well.

THE DEADLY WARRANT, GAMBLING BARON

THE DEADLY WARRANT is a Taiwanese shooter aka A KILLING ORDER. I found the VCD in C-town a few years ago under the latter title. If I recall correctly, It's a simple, run of the mill, gangster yarn (aren't they all?) starring David Lam Wai, and Dick Wei. The film was also written and directed by Mr. Dick! GAMBLING BARON, directed by veteran Richard Yueng Kuen, is an action/crime film that I assume also displays HK cinema's ever present gambling shenanigans. Max Mok Siu-cheung and Roy Cheung Yiu-yeung are the heavy hitters in this one while Jimmy Lung Fong, Ng Suet-man, Lee Suet-man, Hugo Ng Doi-yeung, Billy Chow Bei-lei, and Karel Wong Chi-yeung play supporting fiddle.

WIN THEM ALL, NO GUILTY

More Taiwanese madness as Wu Ma and Mark Cheng Ho-nam in a Taiwanese gambling pic WIN THEM ALL. I can't find any info on the film under this title but it appears to be the early 90's production aka, GAMBLING GHOSTS ARE READY, also starring Siu Yam-yam, Yukari Oshima, Alexander Lo Rei and Ku Feng. I also recently got this in on a DVD-r under the 'aka' title. NO GUILTY is an HK/ Taiwanese co-production starring one of my fave CAT III starlets, the pixie cute, Chan Wing-chi. It's listed as CAT II but I believe may have been a bit more hard core than that? Also starring David Lam-wai, Ku Feng, and Alexander Lo Rei.

HARD TOUCHING, DESPERATE DUO

HARD TOUCHING is a mid 90's CAT III shot-on-vid pic that up until this VHS have only been able to find unsubbed. I have the DVD, VCD, and LD, ALL unsubbed. I hope this one is worth having 4 copies of? Sleazy K has told me it isn't. The film is an Alex Fong Chung-sun vehicle as well as the other VHS posted in the pic, DESPERATE DUO. No info on DESPERATE DUO but it looks like an early 90's Taiwanese gangland odyssey with Ku Feng and Dick Wei joining the fray.

CITY ON FIRE

And my BIG SCORE of Ms. Mail Lady's delivery, CITY ON FIRE. Nooooo. Not THAT CITY ON FIRE. But a 1993 Taiwanese action romp starring Mark Cheng Ho-nam, Michiko Nishiwaki, and, of course, Wu Ma. I have been looking for this film for about a dozen years or so and have never come across it in any format. When I saw this for sale I moistened my leopard print boxer briefs. John Charles reviewed the film in his book, HONG KONG FILMOGRAPHY, and gave this celluloid classic a 1 out of 10. In Kingwho? speak that translates to a must see.

TAIWAN BLACK MOVIES

Ahhhh. The ever-elusive documentary, TAIWAN BLACK MOVIES. Like chasing after the wind, getting a hold of this film has proven fruitless. There was once a copy posted to Youtube but it lacked subtitles. But finally, thanks to a fine friend, a subtitled copy is now in my possession! Bwwahahahahaha! And now the edumacation of Kingwho? and Taiwanese cinema can now commence! Taiwan Black Movies were a collective of films born out of the late 70's, booming into the 80's, spinning tales of socio-political crime and violence. This doc immediately goes to the front of my queue. For an excellent review of this film, read John Chalres write-up HERE!!!!

ONCE A HERO: THE VANISHING HONG KONG CINEMA

HK film critic and essayist, Perry Lam's, book ONCE A HERO: THE VANASHING HONG KONG CINEMA is a collection of his essays on more recent films from the late 20-oughts. Perry and I would appear to get along well as we both jockey aboard the same wavelength and sing the same mantra; "They don't make 'em like they used to anymore." In the book, Perry, for the most part nicely explains the differences between heyday HK cinema and the mostly weak and empty cinema of today's HK and it's filmmakers. Citing examples to back his claims, Perry's book isn't all disdain, and though we share the same temperament, we don't always agree. But it's a 90/10 split. Among the films covered in this volume are NIGHT AND FOG, SHINJUKU INCIDENT, CRAZY RACER, A SIMPLE NOODLE STORY, INVISIBLE TARGET, VENGEANCE, LOVE IN A PUFF, AFTER THIS OUR EXILE, EXODUS, FIRE OF CONSCIENCE, and EYE IN THE SKY, to name just a few. This book comes enormously recommended and is well thought out and competently opinionated. Order it HERE!

EDGE OF DARKNESS

Another film that has been quite the hard find for the past 15 or so years is the intense under cover cop flick, EDGE OF DARKNESS. Old school actor Fung Hak-on directs this crime actioner with deft force. EDGE OF DARKNESS was scripted by former Royal Hong Kong Policeman turned reliable actor, Philip Chan Yan-kin and is wonderfully acted by Alex Man, Chin Siu-ho, and John Shum Kin-fun. Shum, whose better known as a comic presence in films, almost steals the show as a put upon friend of undercover 5-0, Chin Siu-ho. The fodder present in this film is true grit and EDGE OF DARKNESS is an astounding HK crime film.

This Week In Sleaze Lite- Podcast On Fire #93

2011-09-18T17:50:00.000-07:00

Quick note here. I'm about a week late in posting this but better late than never. Sleazy K and I put on our big boy pants for a bit and ditched the dirty cinema in favor of a few films less offensive. I joined K on the main vein show over at the Podcast On Fire Network.....Podcast On Fire: Episode 93.

K and I banter about the action silliness found in 1992's THE GOLDEN CORPS COME FROM CHINA aka DIRECT LINE, anachronistic oddness in CYF's and Jiang Wen's LET THE BULLETS FLY, and a nice bit on some Bruceploitation. I also recap my experiences at this past summers NYAFF. Less sleaze but all cheese. Give it a go. Enjoy!

9/11/11 35 Years Old and 10 Years Young

2011-09-12T16:19:00.000-07:00

Hey, ya'll. Been on a bit of a hiatus with this blog as well as HK cinema. HK films make up about 95% of my cinematic diet but usually twice a year I step back and try to catch up with the non-HK movies I'd neglected throughout the year. These past few weeks has been one of those times. Even if it means forsaking HK cinema in favor of the Drew Barrymore directorial turkey, WHIP IT, and such bastard turds like THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE and the utterly vile and without purpose, A SERBIAN FILM. With shite like these, why deviate from HK cinema? I'll get back into the swing of things in a bit. Anyways, yesterday was the 10 year celebration of our country's resilience against the awful terrorist attacks that occurred on September, 11, 2001. It was also my birthday! Another wonderful event! When people hear that my b-day lands on 9/11 I'm usually greeted with an, "Ohhh! That stinks. Sorry." Comments like this are only slightly less annoying than the, "You look like Vin Diesel," one's I usually get when I'm newly shorn domed and have sunglasses on. But this is all just nonsense. So as the media sets everyone up for Kleenex ceremonies, I wholeheartedly go the other route. For me, 9/11, any way you look at it, is a cause for celebration. I count myself so very lucky to have my birthday coincide with my the day we celebrate my country's strength, patriotism, and valor.

That being said, I would never want to take away the remembrance of those we have lost on that fateful day. But instead of mourning, I choose to walk a little taller. A bit more proud. My heart wholly goes out to the friends and families who lost loved ones that day, and continue to do so as the amazing people in our Armed Services eat dirt daily as they fight to secure our everyday freedoms. We are all much better people because of their mettle.

Sooooo, let's get on with it. Don't want to be a Debbie Downer here because this is a post about celebration! Wei took me into Flushing for a little b-day HK movie shopping and dinner. I took a few pics around town. A few posters plastered on buildings squawked an upcoming concert by the TWINS in Connecticut this month and the films LOVE IN SPACE and MY KINGDOM, which recently opened in NYC theaters. Flushing C-town's HK movie shopping has been on the decline. And while it has never been entirely fruitful, I have found gems on occasion. Flushing featured 3-4 movie shops, mostly pushing bootlegs, but the number has now dwindled down to 3. 2 shoving bootlegs and one shoving....'questionable' copies of films. Sometimes its a boot, sometimes not. It's a crap shoot.

Bootlegs...

....and some more...

OVERHEARD 2 and WHAT WOMEN WANT booters

SEX AND ZEN 3D bootleg

Crappy CAT III booter section. I see Shu Qi in IRON SISTER!

Non bootleg copy of MICRO SEX OFFICE. Yoink!

After shopping we went for some noodles. Above is the new look Chao Zhou. The restaurant had a fire a few months back that forced it's closure. The new revamped restaurant is a bit nicer, brighter, and serves the same delicious food.

Cambodian Noodle Soup. Wei and I each had a huge bowl of this. Our usual. Phenomenal!

After we unstrapped our Chao Zhou feedbag we headed up the block to a sort-of dai pai dong, that offers extremely cheap sidewalk eats. Above, Wei is ordering me some fish balls on a stick. My favorites. And below, I enjoy those fish balls. Ain't nothing wrong with havin' some balls in your mouth! Right!? hee hee heeee

After stuffing my fat face, Wei and I hopped the 7 train for a short hike over to Citi Field to catch my lowly New York Mets face the Chicago Cubs. It was a special nationally televised game by ESPN that included a touching 9/11 Remembrance Ceremony before first pitch.

Wei. Check out these great seats! $60 seats for 17 bucks. Thank gosh the Mets stink!

An ass holding a beer.

The stadium wasn't full last night for a few reasons. One, the Mets are a huge bag of stink. Two, it was a late game and the kiddies had to go to school the following morning. Three, who wants to really go out on 9/11? And finally, It was the opening day for the NFL and the majority of Ny'ers where home in their pj's, scratching their butts, while watching the New York Jets battle the Dallas Cowboys on Sunday Night Football. Poor, poor job by MLB having this game played at night. All of that aside, the ceremony was quite great as the Mets had former player escort first responders from all of the major NYC departments out onto the field. All the while bagpipers piped. What was also quite touching was the inclusion of children who have benefited from a charity set up by a former NY Mets player, Rusty Staub; The New York Police and Fire Widows Fund. Each child walked out onto the field while clutching a Mets players hand. Very sweet. The bright lights of the stadium even dimmed for a moment of silence as the crowd illuminated electronic candles that were handed out at the stadium. Very, very cool.

The celebration was quite somber and the crowd was most affected by it. So much so, that the entire game was a sullen affair. It could have just been that the crowd was tired out from the days events and that first pitched clocked in at almost 8:30...or that the Metsies just suck? But this was the quietest crowd I have ever been a part of. It was quite eerie. It also didn't help that the Mets fell behind early and had to fight back. But, quietness is only relative as Wei and I were blessed enough to sit right next to 4 young chirpy and fashionable (all wearing brightly colored Chuck Taylor All Stars) Taiwanese "fans" whom, while in between talking on their bedazzled cellphones in very loud Mandarin, overly cheered foul balls flying into the crowd and immersed themselves waaaaayyyyy too much in 'The Wave.' One girl seemed to be enamored with her nostril as more than a few times I glanced over to see her knuckle deep, diggin' for China, as we here in these parts usually quip. Wei chuckled throughout the game at their antics, often translating their Mandarin play by play of the game for me.

9/11 Remembrance Ceremony @ Citi Field

The Metsies, HK movie shopping ( I brought home LEGIT copies of LOVER'S DISCOURSE, EX, KUNG FU HIP HOP 2, and MICRO SEX OFFICE), gorging myself with great food, and watching my favorite baseball team, all stuffed into a few short hours on what has become one of the greatest days our nation celebrates. I love being able to say that I was born on 9/11. Though being 35 leaves a lot to be desired. Anyone else have bad knees, a constant stiff back, huge man boobs, a jiggly ass, and sperm that take water aerobics classes? Or is it just me?

For a wonderful read about 9/11, please check out my blog friend YTSL's current post at her blog, WEBS OF SIGNIFICANCE. Great, great post.

The Return Of Ms. Mail Lady- The Postlady Strikes Back!!!!!

2011-08-25T22:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted my Ms. Mail Lady exploits for a while so I'm gonna play catchup. I've been keeping Ms. Mail Lady a bit busy over the last 2 months. The first 8 laserdiscs posted (7 films) were a rather cheap lot of discs I won on Ebay. Above is the artsy (yes, artsy) Billy Tang Hin-sing (Yes, THAT Billy Tang) film, WILD. Also, Sam Hui sheds a tear for the cover art of the kicking knockabout, DRAGON FROM RUSSIA. Clarence Fok Yiu-leung made a goodie! Billy Tang Hin-sing...not so much. Check out the rest of the LD haul....

LOVE AND THE CITY

WONDER SEVEN and WITCH FROM NEPAL

Along with Corey Yuen Kwai's all-star FONG SAI YUK is Ridley Tsui Bo-wah's entertaining B-flick, THE WILD COUPLE. The ever watchable Roy Cheung Yiu-yeung stars alongside former CAT III piece of meat, Lily Chung Suk-wai. The fellas from your favorite podcast, THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE (including Sifu Stoo!), just finished an audio commentary for the notorious Billy Tang Hin-sing directed, Lily Chung Suk-wai film, RED TO KILL. Look for it in the coming months. The PODCAST ON FIRE NETWORK has been recording like mad and will be releasing podcasts bi-weekly for the foreseeable future. This audio commentary slots in around October. You're gonna wanna get your RED TO KILL dvd at the ready so you can listen along with our filthy shtick. I'll keep you posted.

A few more LD's to add to my growing hoarders paradise. The rare classic ghost nasty, SEEDING OF A GHOST and another rare ghost comedy, Jaime Luk Kim-ming's GHOST IN THE HOUSE.

This was an interesting find for me. I love CYF. Who doesn't? I would have his baby if it were possible. GOODBYE MY FRIEND was released in 1988 amidst CYF's ascension to the throne of HK cinema King. Then how come you've never heard of the film? Beats me, but I'm busting to watch it.

WKW's AS TEARS GO BY and FALLEN ANGELS on dvd. I have these films in other formats but at 3 bucks a pop, shipping included, what's the harm in buying them again? No harm at all.

Here are a few rare goodies courtesy of a virtual buddy who's aunt owns a video store. Auntie is shedding stock and looking to liquidate. My hand was raised first for the CAT III's. Two shot on video, unsubtitled turds. STARLETS FOR SALE stars my bff, Charlie Cho Cha-lee and Elvis Tsui Kam-kong. FLOWER SNAKE LADY is a sex film that's really none of anyone's concern. And both films are dubbed in Thai! I think????

And today came my piece de la resistance. My double disc of SEX AND ZEN 3D: EXTREME ECSTASY. The package contains both the 3D and 2D versions, plus a few production bonuses. Also included were a cool 'motion' lobby card. One of those cheesy pictures that 'move' when you look at them from different angles. This one doesn't really move. It's the same pic just at an ever so slightly different angle. It's a silly as heck misfire but I love it.

SEX AND ZEN 3D: EXTREME ECSTASY

'Motion' lobby card

The 3D is analglyphic and doesn't really work well on my big screen tele. The colors are a bit washed out, the subtitles, though written well, are difficult to read, and the 3D is hard to discern. The film worked a touch better on my laptop as the 3D was easier to make out, though the color wash and the subs were still a problem. The 2D version looks fine, though, and still loads of fun. I'm watching now as I blog this. I would also like to have Vonnie Lui's baby. In SEX AND ZEN 3D world that just might be possible!?

Sex and Zen 3D: Extreme Ecstasy aka Sex and Zen and a Severed Horses Head

2011-08-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

So, a week or so ago the fine folks who run the NYAFF sent out a mass email to subscribers of their newsletter inviting us lucky ones to a free Thursday night screening of SEX AND ZEN 3D: EXTREME ECSTASY. My pants immediately dropped upon reading the email and without a thought I was planning my trek into the city. It was my night off so it was an easy decision. Wei had school that night and I thought she would enjoy a 'date night' in the city. Granted, the date involved a ton of naked Asian ladies in 3D, but it was a date nonetheless. Our first in a long while since the run up to our wedding has been a stressful mess. At first she was undecided about the show but I sweetened the deal when I mentioned Boca Chica. Boca Chica was a Latin American restaurant that we had gone to about 3 years ago, while on a trip into the city for my birthday to see Takashi Miike's SUKIYAKI WESTERN DJANGO. We fell in love with the joint and had always planned to go back, never finding the time. Wei emphatically said, "YES!" And the date night was a go....

This past Thursday, after a day of house hunting and meeting with mortgage lenders telling us we couldn't even afford a refrigerator box to live in, we put the stress aside and ventured into the East Village. Our first stop was din din at Boca Chica. We both starved ourselves that day in anticipation. And it was the same damn deliciousness that we remembered. The complimentary plantain chips and re-fried bean dip were on point and we could have just eaten that all evening. Wei ordered the Aroz Con Pollo with black beans and side salad. Aroz Con Pollo being the only thing she knew on the menu. It was phenomenal! I tucked into the Cuban Sandwich. The roast pork, ham, swiss, and toasted bread were soft and, as cliche as it sounds, melted in your mouth. The side of fried yucca topped with garlic was unbelievable. The garlic would last clear into the next day, brushing and mouthwash be damned.

Food Porn

Towards the end of dinner, the skies darkened and then opened up. A humid and typical early evening shower saw a few folks scatter on the street as umbrellas opened up and newspapers covered heads. Finishing dinner and over stuffed, we trekked up on and over to the Village East Cinema. This was the same theater I saw DREAM HOME at last year when it was showing at The Tribeca Film Festival. On our quick 12 block walk the rain came and went. Thunder stormed and purple lightning streaked the dark gray sky. We made it to the theater very early. A friend of mine from the blogospher/podcast-o-sphere (?) was able to score Wei and I 'special seating'. We made contact with the event coordinator who hooked us up. With some time left before the screening Wei and I toured the East Village for a bit. Stepping in between rain drops and the heavily hipstered young village denizens and being wowed by the crackling thunder and flashes of lightning.

By the time we made it back to the theater the line that formed for the movie was wrapped around the building. It was nice to see the free love showing for SEX AND ZEN 3D. It didn't matter if they were Asian cinema fans, curious onlookers, or perverted deviants ready to drop trow and DNA in the theater. I was happy to see a big turnout for CAT III. We met up with another blogger; he writes for the VCinema blog, and since we were both 'special' we got to bypass the line and get in first.

We milled around the lobby for a bit, took a few pics in front of the sole advertisement for SEX AND ZEN, and then made our way into the balcony. Where the 'special' people section was located. The seats where great. Eye level with the huge screen. A few of the NYAFF folks were seated in our section and I also noticed La Frances Hui and Jeff Yang. La Frances Hui, the Assistant Director of Cultural Programs as well as Film Curator at the Asia Society, I knew from seeing John Woo's RED CLIFF, at the Asia Society. She did the post screening Q&A. Jeff Yang is an Asian American Culturalist writer who has also written a book on Hong Kong cinema, Once Upon a Time in China.

Introducing the film, for whatever reason, was a drag queen from the NYC landmark establishment, Lucky Cheng's, a drag queen cabaret, located in the East Village. You know you are in for quite a show when a drag queen gets thrown into the mix. The screen flashed to life and the 3D glasses were put on. I was ready for boobies!

Upon all of the hype leading up to the film, I really wasn't expecting much. I am a film goer who wants to have fun. So, at the very least, I want to enjoy myself. I always go into a film wanting to love it. Why else would I spend my time on something? To hate it? And with SEX AND ZEN 3D, I wound up really having a ball! Not a fan of 3D whatsoever, I enjoyed the filmmakers exploiting exploitation through the use of the 3D medium.

I'll forgo a review of the film as others are much better at recounting and retelling. I will say that SEX AND ZEN 3D surprised the shit out of me. I came away really enjoying the excess. Now, the film is in no way great or better than the original. The story is a bit shit, the film lasts a solid 20 minutes too long, and the narrative takes a deviant turn into needless violence in the last 1/4. Up until then the film rolled along with silly bits of comedy and wall to wall naked flesh. Sadism and blood stained skin was the final reels flavor and it marred the story. Just a bit, though, as I kind of dug the filmmakers exploiting the use of 3D through violence. And, as a follower of HK's CAT III history, the violence seemed like a fine punctuation on top of the lightness of the first 3/4 of the film. Recalling HK's heyday cinema that splashed on screen equal parts of dopey comedy, dirty carnal pleasure, and sexist sadism. Everything but the kitchen sink film making. The total package. SEX AND ZEN 3D delivered.

After applauding the film we dumped our 3D glasses and left the theater for home. Wei and I tossed our best and worst film moments back and forth. Wei gave the film an over enthusiastic thumbs way down. She dug the original SEX AND ZEN but thought this one was appalling, citing too much nekkidnes and violence. How can I marry this girl???!!! hahaha I, on the other hand, well.....I think you know what I though. An appendage WAY, WAY UP! While not as good as the original, and I'm not really sure it was supposed to be, the film does an unbelievable job with using and abusing it's players and it's 3D technology. Garbage story, fair film making, fun 3D, a TON of body parts for the fans, Vonnie Lui as an hermaphrodite, a nod to Kent Cheng, a horse weiner that looks nothing like a horse weiner (Take my word for it. I've seen a few movies.), a penis slap to the face, an angry as shit Tony Ho Wah Chiu, (One of my favorite actors), and even some messy subtitles makes SEX AND ZEN 3D: EXTREME ECSTASY well worth watching. My DVD has since been ordered and I will most definitely watch it again. Even in 2D. While I don't think it will signal a new wave of film making in HK cinema or even 'save' the cinema for that matter, I would most definitely welcome a sequel, prequel, or another incarnation of sex and 3D. And, much to my delight, recently mentioned was the 3D updating of director Cash Chin Man-kei's 1999 coming of age sex film, THE FRUIT IS RIPE. The new film being titled, THE FRUIT IS RIPE 33D. Boobies and 3D. A match made in my blue heaven.

The Sniping- 奇兵 (1990)

2011-08-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

THE SNIPING aka SNIPER (1990)

Another 'Coolest movie you have never seen,' Wilson Tong Wai-shing's quick moving gangster-actioner from 1990, THE SNIPING. I'm very cognizant that my picture taking skills suck ass, (though I believe that is part of the rag tag charm of this crap blog) but at any rate, this is another cool looking poster. The film is somewhat a rarity in it's availability though I have seen the laserdisc for sale on Ebay for an exorbitant fee. The Ebay laserdisc, as well as other copies I've seen floating around on the Internet, lack English subs. A virtual buddy of mine was able to make me a copy with English subs and I'm so very glad he did because this film is a little mentioned goodie. A real shame.

Chen Kuan-tai and Norman Chu Siu-keung

Alex Man Chi-leung

Eric Tsang Chi-wai

Dig this tight little action sequence from THE SNIPING. It's quick take action like this that I sorely miss when watching today's HK cinema. Energetic and dirty violence. How I do love thee.

A quick aside here folks. I'm sure you are all very aware about the unfortunate and senseless rioting that has occurred in England. I would like to extend my most heartfelt well wishes to everyone who as been affected by this shameful nonsense. That being said, a few friends from our Asian Cinema community, TERRACOTTA DISTRIBUTION and THIRD WINDOW FILMS, both based in and around a strike zone of violence in Enfield, have lost major stock due to their warehouse being burned to the ground. Luckily, no one was hurt. If you could all take a moment and peruse the movies they have to offer and quite possibly shell out a few sheckles for one...or two...or three DVD's, it would be greatly appreciated. These independent labels already struggle to bring us the films we so love and now they need an even bigger helping hand. Also, head on over to the PODCAST ON FIRE NETWORK and give a listen to a mini-podcast about this crap situation. Thanks everyone. Enjoy!

HK Laserdiscs. I swear this is the last bulk post.....maybe...???

2011-08-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

THE OTHER SIDE OF DOLLS is fun sleaze that has Charlie Cho laying the sweet lowdown to a starlet while dressed as Batman. Yes. Batman.

Charlie Cho also resides in JOURNALIST STORY, alongside a gorgeous favorite of mine, Tsui Man-wah.

Here's my poster for THE FATAL GAME.

Loletta Lee Lai-chun gets down to skins in CRAZY LOVE, her first foray ( I think?) into the lovely CAT III genre.

Aces 1990 actioner starring Alex man Ci-leung, Alex Fong Chung-sun, Francis Ng Chun-yu, Sibelle Hu Hui-zhong, Carrie Ng Kar-li, Michiko Nishiwaki, Eddy Ko Hung, and Shum Wai.

Anthony Wong Chau-sang arthouse directed by Allen Fong Yuk-ping.

If the actual title was as printed, this would most likely be a CAT IV film. But it isn't. The film is actually a 1990 fantasy pic titled, ANGEL OR WHORE.

Director Yonfan, working from a co-written Fruit Chan script, creates an artsy companion piece to such high trash as HERO DREAM and ANOTHER PIECE OF ROMANCE. If you get my drift. *nudge nudge wink wink*

Shot on video T.V. movie starring Francis Ng Chun-yu.

THE FIRE BOAT is listed here as CAT II and on the HKMDB as CAT I. But upon watching the film it is most definitely CAT III, providing a scene or two that might make you have to register with your local authorities. Think Stephen Chow's KING OF COMEDY! My lovely, Cindy Yip Sin-yi, provides her usual skin in this unsubed bore of a drama.

An HK/French co-production that looks to be a companion to 7 DAYS IN PARIS and FACE D'ANGE.

Simon Yam Tat-wah and his usual gigolo hustle, Veronica Yip Yuk-hing, get down on it in this fun little CAT III.

Last but not least, midnight movie madness classic, STORY OF RICKY.

Queen's High- 紅粉至尊 (1991)

2011-08-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

QUEEN'S HIGH (1991)

Great looking poster for the killer 1991 gangland actioner, QUEEN'S HIGH, directed by Chris Lee Kin-sang, best remembered as one of the stuntmen from the infamous POLICE STORY bus stunt-gone-wrong. Check out the video below to hear Jackie Chan speak about the stunt that left Chris in a coma for 6 1/2 hours. As for this poster, for me, it displays one of the most iconic stills from heyday HK cinema, Cynthia Khan gripping an Uzi. The scene, an iconic one as well, has Cynthia's blood spattered bride sprayin' and prayin' up against the bastards that infiltrated her wedding and murdered everyone she held dear. What's a gal to do!? VENGANZA!

I have already decided to have Wei hold an Uzi, a toy one of course, on our wedding day. I just need a shot of my bride heavily armed. How awesome would that be?

OK. Here's one of the most memorable scenes put to HK celluloid. I know you've seen it before and you love it just as much as I do. Enjoy Cynthia and her Uzi!

This Week In Sleaze Episode 5- Shaw Boobies! NSFW!!!

2011-08-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE 5- BOOBIE KNIGHTS!

Hey ya'll. It's been a while but This Week In Sleaze is back up and at 'em! Episode 5, our Shaw Boobies show has Sleazy K and I jibber jabberin' about the 1966 Shaw Bros. flick, THE KNIGHT OF KNIGHTS. As we discovered, a seminal film in the adult oriented Hong Kong cinema and a signal to the genre excess HK cinema came to be known and loved for. THE KNIGHT OF KNIGHTS was not as sleazy as we would have liked but we have to start somewhere. And along with another film that I review on the show, the 1965 Shaw Bros. Romeo and Juliet muck-up, CROCODILE RIVER, we are off to a dang good start.

THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE

With this show, Sleazy K and I are attempting to go back in time to discover exactly where HK skinema, or erotica, began. While THE KNIGHT OF KNIGHTS makes a minor start to our goal, for sheer body parts on display, the girly drama CROCODILE RIVER surprisingly trumps it? I have provided a few screen shots below, taken from CROCODILE RIVER, as a companion piece to the podcast. Check out the junk in the trunk! And everywhere else! Gosh love that body double! While Ken and I are still in research mode, these scenes of skin are quite possibly some of the earliest put to HK film, circa 1965. Well, until someone tells us otherwise? To understand the context of these images, I give a very Mr. Skin-ish account on the show. Give it a listen! If anyone can provide us with more knowledge, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give us a shout!

Lau Leung-wa

LAN KWAI FONG SWINGERS

As for our Last Sleazy Movies Watched segment.....this ones a doozy! Sleazy K continues his great quest for all things IFD by reviewing the cool Taiwanese film from 1984, DEADLY SILVER ANGELS aka STRONG OF WOMAN aka 5 LADY VENOMS. It's the lovely Elsa Yeung Wai-san and her rag tag bunch of lady avengers. Try and keep your pants on! Then I babble on about the absolutely insane and in entirely poor f**king taste, LAN KWAI FONG SWINGERS, from 1993. LAN KWAI FONG SWINGERS is yet another Charlie Cho Cha-lee opus and you will get what you freakin' deserve by watching this film. As I say in the podcast, I don't know how these scumbag filmmakers sleep at night?! Poorly fashioned around a tragic true life event, LAN KWAI FONG SWINGERS is a CAT III bang-film of a different kind. You have been warned. That being said, I loved it!

Here's but a taste of the dirty LAN KWAI FONG SWINGERS. A film that just blew my mind. If you are seeking true exploitation, this film is it. Ripped from the headlines tragedy plus a whole lotta bangin' going on!? It's a must-see! Get the podcast HERE, uncap your jar of Vaseline (Icy-Hot for the hardcore troopers), and prepare to get sticky for the next 3 hours! It's This Week In Sleaze, Episode 5- Shaw Boobies!

More NSFW Shaw Bros. Lobby Cards!

2011-07-27T17:06:00.000-07:00

GIRL WITH THE LONG HAIR (1975)

A few more great Shaw Bros. lobby cards from my brutha from another mother, KW, who also sent along a few more NSFW images that I posted back in March. Check those dirty images out HERE. Above and below are from Ho Fan; he of the Vaseline lensed camera. Though Ho Fan is more generally known as an artsy fartsy erotica maker, he could also be wonderfully playful, as he proved in 1975's, GIRL WITH THE LONG HAIR, starring Shaw Bros. sexpot, Dana. Check out Sleazy K's review of the film HERE. I believe it was one of the top films he watched in 2010!? Unfamiliar with Ho Fan? Sleazy K and I discussed him a bit in our Sex and Zen episode of our This Week In Sleaze Podcast. If you haven't, check that out as well.

GIRL WITH THE LONG HAIR (1975)

CONFESSIONS OF A PRIVATE SECRETARY (1977)

I have never seen CONFESSIONS OF A PRIVATE SECRETARY or heard of it for that matter. Discovering that the film stars the oft nekkid Shirley Yu Sha-li puts this one on my radar. I may have mentioned this before but doesn't Shirly Yu Sha-li look like Siu Yam-yam? That's a lovely Shaw Sis sandwich I wouldn't mind being a part of.

WEDDING NIGHTS (1976)

WEDDING NIGHTS is another Shaw film that I am entirely unfamiliar with and until KW sent along this cool pic, didn't know existed. The film stars quite possibly my favorite Shaw Bros. actress, Chen Ping, whom throughout her career was never afraid to go 'there'. And there is wherever your little mind could imagine. She was a gamer. And by gawking at the upper portion of this lobby card, ya'll know what I mean.....

LOST SOULS (1980)

Another vicious lobby card from the 1980 Mau Dui-fai (T.F. Mous) roughie, LOST SOULS. About 2 years ago, a Facebook buddy of mine actually befriended Dui-fai for a spell and was able to sit down with him and complete a very cool documentary on his career. Unable to release the film as he wanted, my virtual buddy released the film on Youtube. Check out part one below and then do yourself a HUGE favor by hitting up the rest of the film. Amazing stuff and a damn fine job!

BLACK SUNSHINE: CONVERSATIONS WITH T.F. MOU (2010)

MINI SKIRT GANG (1974)

And bringing up the lovely rear is a film full of females with lovely rears, MINI SKIRT GANG. MINI SKIRT GANG had only been available in an unsubtitled version for the English speaking masses but has since been fan-subbed and uploaded around the interwebs. And gosh love the fella who did so. The film beautifully boasts the aforementioned gamer, Chen Ping and Scandinavian charmer, Birte Tove. It's irreverent fun finely mixing dopey comedy and T&A. Look for it and love it.

Her Judgement Day-剃刀情人 (1993)

2011-07-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

HER JUDGEMENT DAY- (1993)

HER JUDGEMENT DAY is another movie I have yet to come across. Not for lacking of searching (There is a janky copy floating around somewhere online). I have had my feelers out for this flick for some time now and I have finally tracked it down. A virtual buddy of mine in good ole HK has a VCD and will be making a copy of it for me. Oh happy day! This virtual world friendship thing is paying off in spades....and dvd-r's!

Speaking of virtual world friends, a few weeks back I posted that I in fact met up with a virtual friend for dim sum in C-town. He brought along a poster tube full of goodies for me. After our grazing on cha siu bao, dan ta, and other assorted push cart fare we said our 'so longs.' I was giddy like a little school girl and couldn't wait to get home and open the package. Once Wei and I got back to the car, my X-mas morning excitement got the better of me and I tore into the tube. This poster was the first one that greeted me. If you could have seen my face. My drawers became immediately moist. Gosh love my virtual friends! He surprised the crap out of me with this poster, and a few more CAT III beauties that I hope to post soon.

The poster for HER JUDGEMENT DAY looks absolutely bad-ass with the lovely Mondi Yau Yuet-ching clutching a bloody straight edge. I'm fearing the worst with this film, though. I have been searching far and wide for so long that I quite possibly built it up too much. I put the Pu**y on a pedestal, so to speak. I'm hoping against hope that HER JUDGEMENT DAY is leaps and bounds better than I expect? The film also stars Jimmy Lung Fong, Wu Ma, Suen Hing, Lo Lieh, and William Ho Kau-kui and was directed by Lau Hung-chuen, who directed the solids DEVIL FETUS and CHAMPION OPERATION. So, I think I'm safe?

The Eight Hilarious Gods (1993)

2011-07-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

THE EIGHT HILARIOUS GODS (1993)

It's hot as cross buns here in NY and as I sip on my Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee, I really have little strength to post much. So, here's a hot and sticky quickie for ya. I have not seen THE EIGHT HILARIOUS GODS but by the cast list; Sandra Ng Kwun-yu, Rosamund Kwan Chi-lam, Big Silly Head, Ng man-tat, Adam Cheng Siu-chow, and Lawrence Cheng Tan-shui, the film looks (or maybe it's just the poster) to in fact be 'hilarious'. So, here's a nice and blurry look at the poster. And that's all I have to say about that!

Princess Madam (1989)

2011-07-17T18:33:00.000-07:00

PRINCESS MADAM aka UNDER POLICE PROTECTION aka ANGEL PROTECTORS (1989)

This poster has seen better days but it's comes straight outta HK and is well over 20 years old. It's been around the block....and then some! As was I by the age of 20. Cut and paste overlord Godfrey Ho Jeung-keung's 1989 foxes with firearms actioner is a rather coherent delight, in respects to his other smush-'em-up productions. Having the always fine Moon Lee Choi-fung and Michiko Nishiwaki bash about usually signals a good time, and here it does, but it's Sharon Yeung Pan-pan who is the actual star of this she-ra show.

Michiko Nishiwaki and Liu Kai-chi

Anthony Tang Ho-gwong and Yueh Hua

Kenneth Tsang Kong and Cheng Yuen-man

Sharon Yeung Pan-pan

Moon Lee Choi-fung

Sharon, Moon, and Michiko in a menage-a-trois....of action.

The film is swift fun and rather enjoyable. Michiko Nishiwaki is the villainess and is so wonderfully sexy and dangerous. She and the great HK film jack of all trades, James Ha Chim-si, even get to live it up with a little CAT III specialness. It's good times. And when isn't it good times when 3 sexy ladies get down on it?

Check out my limey buddy's blog, A Gwailo In Hong Kong, who reviewed this very movie a few days back. He's a cool cat who traipses through the streets of Lan Kwa-fong nightly looking for sweet ex-pat punani. My man!

Tsui Hark and Lung Kong @ the 2011 NYAFF

2011-07-12T19:01:00.000-07:00

I'm exhausted! This past weekend was my final weekend at the NYAFF and it couldn't come soon enough. On Friday night I hit up the midnight showing of THE STORY OF RICKY. I hadn't seen the film in years and the version being showed was an old Tokyo Shock/Media Blasters 35mm print. It was dubbed to boot and possibly the ONLY fun way to see a midnight show!? The audience was modest (it WAS a Friday night in the big city) but lively and in the mood for the kind of madness provided by RIKI-OH. The requisite hoots, hollers, rolling-in-the-aisle laughter, and applause were in abundance and the entire over the top experience was infectious. I could have sat there and watched it all over again. But, it was now approaching 2 a.m. and I had to get the heck home. I'm an old fart and need to be in bed at a decent hour. I got back to home base at around 4:30-ish and I was, of course, over tired, and wound up hitting the hay around 7?! Thank goodness I had Saturday off from the fest.

Sunday came and I had REIGN OF ASSASSINS and DRAGON INN on my NYAFF dance card. Still not quite recovered from my Friday midnight madness I ditched REIGN OF ASSASSINS in favor of an extra hour or two of sleep. I have already seen the film and thought it was....meh. Skipping the flick was an easy choice, even though director Su Chao-pin was presenting the film in person. I began the usual fest ritual of hopping the LIRR to Penn and walking from Penn up to Lincoln Center. Bypassing slow footed, slow witted, flip flop wearing, out-of-towners, and cursing them under my breath as I swiftly passed by. Sweating my bags off the whole way but saving money! While in line for DRAGON INN, the REIGN OF ASSASSINS show let out. In the lobby area I spotted a few autograph seekers chatting up an Asian fella as he signed their programs. Was this guy, Chao-pin? I asked the girl in front of me if she could hold my place in line, she agreed, and I whipped out my DVD copy of REIGN OF ASSASSINS and approached. I asked if he would be able to autograph my DVD and he graciously did so. This guy WAS Chao-pin. Dressed in a t-shirt and khaki shorts. Stylin' and profilin'. A very undistinguished man that I wouldn't be able to pick out of a line-up. Very nice though, indeed, and he handed the DVD back to me with a kind, "Sank you." And I returned favor. Well, I didn't say, "Sank you," but "Thank you." We both smiled and nodded as he turned to take a picture with another annoying fan. I returned to my place in line.

REIGN OF ASSASSINS

DRAGON INN began and it had to have been at least a dozen years since I had last seen it and it was almost like going in fresh. I forgot how wild, sexy, and fun it was!? Just before the film started, I noticed actor/director Lung Kong walking into the theater with his wife. They sat two rows in front of me. Lung Kong (don't worry if you have no clue who he is) I only knew from one of the movies he made, THE STORY OF A DISCHARGED PRISONER, which John Woo re-imagined into A BETTER TOMORROW. I haven't seen the film as the only version available is unsubed. And I only knew who he was this year on sight because he attended last years NYAFF in which Simon Yam acknowledged him in the audience. This year, as last year, he flew in under the radar without anyone knowing who he was. I do have to say, I felt very cool actually knowing who he was. Anyway, the 76 year old legend nodded off a few times during the film, making his wife poke him awake a few times. It was cute and very funny. After the show, one of the festival coordinators, Grady Hendrix, introduced Tsui Hark, who produced AND 'shot' some of the film. Hark's imprint is apparent. Pictures of their exchange are peppered throughout this post. An excellent interview and Tsui was very informative, especially speaking about the heyday of HK cinema and the fever pitch productions of the time.

After the film I hung around for a few minutes to catch up on my IPhone shit that I missed during the film and to stick around in the beautifully air conditioned theater before trekking back to Penn in the 90 degree heat. I decided to take off just in time. It was kismet. As I walked down the stairs from the theater, who was in front of me? Tsui Hark and Lung Kong! Perfect timing. At the bottom of the stairs another fan stopped and asked for Tsui's autograph and then a handful of people followed suit. I was one of them. Tsui was all smiles and very happy to accommodate everyone. There was one douche fan who broke the rules, though. This ass-face had Tsui sign about 10 DVD covers while the rest of us waited. Poor Tsui happily signed each and every one of them. And what's more, the DVD covers were from BOOTLEGS! The nerve of this douche nozzle! Anyway, after signing a few more DVD covers it was my turn and Tsui amusingly let out an, 'Oooh!' as he gazed at and then signed my copy of PEKING OPERA BLUES. He seemed pleased? I was also able to wrangle a quick picture with him. It was tops!

Me and my BFF, Tsui Hark. We are slated to marry this coming fall.

PEKING OPERA BLUES

As Tsui posed for a few more pics, Lung Kong and his wife stood aside, again, Lung not drawing any fanfare as no one knew who he was? Me, giddy with delight at feeling too cool for shule at knowing who Lung Kong was, took a quick pic of he and his wife. Feeling ballsy, I then asked if he would like to take a picture with me. After hesitating a bit, he nodded, and said, "Ok." After the pic, he drew his attention toward my CAT III t-shirt, pointing at it and asking me, "Do you know what this means?" I, without a question did, and answered, "Yes! Category III!" He smiled and said, "Oh. Ok," and continued to laugh a little. I was on top of the f'ing world, and I floated back down to Penn with about 15 minutes to spare before my train home. Stopped by T.G.I.Fridays for a lovingly frosted pint of good ole' Bud Light. I guzzled that swill in about 4 minutes and hopped on the train.

The Oily Maniac and Lung Kong

The following day, now even more tired, I ventured into the city again. My morning large-ass coffee wasn't working so when I hit Penn Station I picked up a Red Bull. The low-carb one, of course, because I have to watch my moobies. Lugging these bad boys back and forth uptown in 95 degree weather is quite a strain. Beating my path up too the theater I flew by the usual 'on holiday from the former Eastern Bloc' tourists as I decided to change course and walk up 9th ave. instead of the heavily congested 8th. And it was lovely. A breeze to walk and tourist lean. I would also like to give props to the Asian girl wearing a white see-thru summer dress. You apparently don't know any better and while your parents may not have loved you, I sure as heck do! I believe a bra and undies are appropriate when wearing a dress made of white gauze, but you don't. And that's OK! Thanks for making it a very CAT III day!

I had 2 films to gear up for. First, Tsui Hark's THE BLADE and the next, Hark's DETECTIVE DEE. Like I mentioned earlier, by this day, I was just swimming. I had off from work a few days for a staycation of sorts but it was anything but with all of the to and fro. I already had it in my mind that I would hit up THE BLADE, hang for the Star Asia Award ceremony where Tsui was being presented a lifetime achievement award, being held in between films, and then hit the road and miss DETECTIVE DEE. Like with REIGN OF ASSASSINS, I already saw DEE and wouldn't lose sleep missing it. I had also made plans to meet up with a fellow NY blogger, Diana, from the great CANTODREAMING blog. She was attending DEE. Just before reaching Lincoln Center, a few blocks before, I heard screams and screeches of delight. The kind that only pre-teen girls emit when they come across a Tiger Beat heartthrob in the flesh. As I approached I saw a huge crowd gathering. Blocking the sidewalk and spilling out int the middle of 9th Ave. WTF was going on over there? Why are these people blocking my way to see Tsui Hark?! A trio of teeny bopper girls shot passed me towards the crowd, knocking into me with their clunky knock-off Coach bags, tripping over their flip-flops and almost face-planting on the sidewalk. Thousands of people packed into Lincoln Centers fountain area. I really didn't care to know the reason at this point. All I knew is I was going to have to detour a block over to 10th and tack on another 10 minutes to my sweaty excursion. It wasn't until the introduction of THE BLADE that I found out what all the hullabaloo was about? The cast of the new Harry Potter film was milling about as the new Potter film was premiering on an outdoor screen erected in Lincoln Centers fountain area. Daniel Radcliff or Tsui Hark? Who would you choose? Emma Watson?!?!

As with DRAGON INN I hadn't seen THE BLADE in gosh knows how long and it was like the first time seeing it. Also of way cool note, it was reported that this is quite possibly the LAST time THE BLADE will ever be seen on the big screen due to a certain bastard U.S. production company owning the rights and refusing to give it ANY type of release. So, THE BLADE went off without a hitch and it was more ferocious and exciting than I had recalled. I'm really glad I made it to the show. After the film I was just struggling to stay awake. I was tired as heck, hungry, and becoming cranky. Like a little brat kid. I couldn't wait to get home. There was no way in heck that I could hold out for DEE. Diana made her way into the theater and we finally met up after only knowing each other virtually. We hit it off (right, Diana?) and shot the breeze for a little while before the awards ceremony began. It was unfortunate that we couldn't talk longer but I'm sure we will hook up at some other HK film event in the future.

The Star Asia Awards were up just before the DEE screening. And guess who was sitting directly in front of me? Lung Kong. I took a pic of the back of his head, because I'm a loser and that's the sort of shit I do. Anyway, Tsui was announced and got a wonderful standing O. Grady summoned Lung up onto the stage as it was his duty to present Tsui with the NYAFF Star Asia Lifetime Achievement Award. Lung and Tsui embraced. And I got choked up. A great moment. Lung spoke beautifully, in choppy English, about his friendship with Tsui and of Tsui's work. It was a touching and heartwarming recalling and it left me grinning from ear to ear.

The Star Asia Lifetime Achievement Award

After Tsui received his Lifetime Achievement Award, the NYAFF crew took the stage to present Tsui with yet another Lifetime Achievement Award. They surprised Tsui with a 'REST-OF-YOUR-LIFETIME' Achievement Award for ALL of his future films. It was a very funny scene as Tsui hoisted the award over his head for a prime photo op.

Tsui's 'REST-OF-YOUR-LIFETIME' Achievement Award

These ARE the TEN COMMANDMENTS!

After the award ceremony and just before I ducked out, Tsui came back out on stage to introduce DETECTIVE DEE. He spoke briefly on the history of Dee and who the Empress Wu (Carina Lau in the film) was. Another fine round of applause as Tsui exited the stage and the 2011 NYAFF. As the production company logo lit up the screen, I hit the bricks.

I dogged it back down 9th. Through Hell's Kitchen and the young hip night time denizens chowing down on the ethnic grub the area is well known for. I tiredly ambled down towards Penn, swigging from my warm water bottle, thinking of Tsui, my see-thru gauze dressed mama, and my bed. I was drenched in sweat by the time I got to Penn and wildly hungry. I grabbed a chicken/ricotta slice, inhaled it, and caught the train back home to LI. NYAFF 2011 down. What's in store for 2012?

The Blue Jean Monster (1991)

2011-07-09T21:20:00.000-07:00

THE BLUE JEAN MONSTER aka MONSTER WORE JEANS (1991)

One of the coolest posters in my collection, and a non CAT III one to boot, is for the kick-ass heyday flick, THE BLUE JEAN MONSTER. Big Silly Head aka Shing Fui-on, deals one of his best performances and doesn't even play a gangster! In a largely sympathetic yet wild as all get out role, Big Silly stomps all over this everything-but-the-kitchen-sink beauty as a recently deceased cop who sticks around in limbo to catch the ne'er do wells that struck him down AND to watch after his pregnant wife and make sure his first born is...well...born before he passes through on to the next world. The movie also sports lusty busty Amy Yip Ji-mei and puts her mammary glands to use in one of the most memorable scenes in all of HK cinema.

I was able to find the laserdisc on Ebay for about10 bucks, including shipping, and just got it a few days ago.

Hooray! I'm suddenly thirsty for milk? Weird?

Don't Call Me Gigolo (1993)

2011-07-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

DON'T CALL ME GIGOLO (1993)

I recently found a copy of the rare CAT III title, DON'T CALL ME GIGOLO, starring Stuart Ong, Ku Feng, Tsui Man-wah, Shum Wai, and my brudda, Charlie Cho Cha-lee. The 'gigolo' flick in HK cinema hit it's zenith in the early 90's days of CAT III cinema. Simon Yam Tat-wah made a memorable handful like the two GIGOLO AND WHORE films, CASH ON DELIVERY, FRIDAY GIGOLO, and HONG KONG GIGOLO. Here, Stuart Ong dons the male whore pants in this god awful, turgid CAT III drama. There. I said it. It's out there. See. I don't like EVERY CAT III movie around. Then again...HK films are like sex and pizza....

The crap plot has Stuart the duck unwittingly getting mixed up in the gigolo trade as he needs money to send back home to his ailing mother. In between bouts of male whoring he falls for a lady. At least I think that's the plot? I was propping my eyelids open with toothpicks for this one. Snoozers. Charlie Cho is the only bright spot in this slow moving turd as he plays his usual prick character. Magnificent bastard Shum Wai appears as well as the venerable Ku Feng who plays a stately pimp!? If you are curious, there is a torrent floating around out there. Seek and ye shall find. And eventually be lulled to sleep by this turkey full of duck talk.

The NYAFF is still rolling along. This weekend sees some BIG Hong Kong/China/Taiwan happenings with THE STORY OF RICKY, ZU: WARRIORS FROM THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN, REIGN OF ASSASSINS, DRAGON INN , PUNISHED, THE BLADE, OCEAN HEAVEN and DETECTIVE DEE screening. If you aren't into these films (then please leave this page and never return) there are also a TON of other Asian films locked, loaded, and ready to be shot all over your chin, neck, and chest. Also on the dance card this coming week: BKO: BANGKOK KNOCKOUT, CITY OF VIOLENCE, THE CHASER, VERSUS, THE YELLOW SEA, and other films that I know nothing about. If you are in the big city, please do yourself and your longtime companion a favor and take in one of these cool flicks.

As a bit of an aside, I watched BLACK SWAN last night and noticed that it took place in and around Lincoln Center. Sooooo, to sweeten the deal, after you check out one or two of the flicks @ the NYAFF you can traipse around the grounds, duck in to a dance studio or two and see if Natalie and Mila, or two anorexic chippies with inner demons who resemble them, are gettin' it on. You can make a day of it!

Please support the NYAFF by buying tickets HERE. Thanks!

PUNISHED @ The New York Asian Film Festival And A Quick Trip Into C-town

2011-07-04T14:22:00.000-07:00

The 2011 NYAFF started this past Friday and I made my first trek in on Saturday to see the new Milkyway flick PUNISHED. Now, I wasn't excited because it was a Milkyway pic or that Anthony Wong Chau-sang was in it. Nooooo. I was giddy with glee because my best buddy Charlie Cho Cha-lee had a small part in the film. It was my first time seeing Cho on the big screen and I was full of nervous excitement.

Even though we are far removed from the days of Charlie hanging out in his tightie whities and sexing up young tarts, the idea of seeing my beloved friend in ANY movie was excitement enough. I hopped the LIRR in to Penn station and decided to hike it on up to the Walter Reade theater in favor of using mass transit. I wanted to save a few bucks and it's only 2 miles. 2 long, hot, and sweaty swamp-assed miles. But, whatever.

2.05 miles later I was in the air conditioned confines of the Walter Reade theater, on line to see PUNISHED. No special guests were appearing today so it was a just a nice, easy going, movie experience. None of the clamour that surrounds some of the more special screenings that the fest offers. That was until 3 douches sat next to me just before the lights went low. I moved one space over, because that is the unpacked movie theater courtesy. A buffer zone that these shits didn't care or know about. The film started and their gosh damn lips didn't. Jabberjawing to each other as the film went, a man in front of me turned to them and, "Shhhhhhhh." The talking sank to a whisper. And then a louder whisper. A loud whisper kinda defeats the purpose of a whisper? Right? So, the loud whispers gave way to good ole fashion being rude. Adding film commentary like, "Ooooh. that's a nice desk!", in reference to a piece of furniture that Anthony Wong had in his office. Are you f'ing kidding me? Really? You are commenting on that!? This nonsense went on for a little while longer until our saviors, a gentleman and his lady friend who were sitting directly in front of the 3 douches turned to them and said, "Would you please SHUT THE FUCK UP!?" In beautiful harmonious unison. It was warranted and NYC polite. They did say, "Please." The previous 'Shusher' and I leaned over to the couple and said, "Thank you." Our 3 douches were not heard from again.

In between our 3 douches fracas a movie was going on. And Mr. Cho made his first screen appearance out of about a handful of brief moments. And boy let me tell you...I damn near cried with joy. I had a brief flash or nervous, panicky excitement and I whipped out my Iphone to capture Cha-lee's shining moment (The video is above). He's a bit more weathered and older, obviously. There is an accentuated sophistication actually. His portrayal of a put upon employee of the asshole character Anthony Wong plays is quite nuanced and even a touch heartbreaking. The films tone is decidedly serious and violent, but, the films sole LOL scene is put upon Charlie. It's a small, simple, wonderful performance and I really hope that it brings about a resurgence of sorts for Mr. Cho. His days of tapping fine and not so fine starlet backside may be well behind him but as an assured elder statesmen of HK cinema, I would just be overjoyed to see him in more local mainstream productions. Bit part or not. Bring on the Charlie Cho renaissance!

Sir Charles aside, I might be the wrong person to speak about PUNISHED. Being a Milkyway production it is, of course, competent and well made. It just isn't fresh. It is not the worst move by To and Co. and it's also certainly not near their best efforts from the late 90's. My penchant for HK genre films aside, just a little, when I watch films like PUNISHED, or other recent Milkyway films for that matter, I begin to think that HK cinema has actually regressed in the past 20 years. In the context of the other HK films on theNYAFF 2011 docket, ZU: WARRIORS FROM THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN, DRAGON INN, THE BLADE, and STORY OF RICKY, a movie like PUNISHED does not fit. Not in terms of the festival line-up but in the lexigon of Hong Kong Cinema. I understand times and tatses have changed (and other production elements that i'm not mentioning here to avoid a longer diatribe) and the HK cinema landscape is wholly different but the imagination once seen in HK cinema has really languished. Again, genre differences aside, but how could you pit the mind and energy present in THE BLADE or DRAGON INN to the slow,'thoughtful', and sometimes faux toughness (I once called it 'Arthouse Testosterone') artsiness in the contemporary PUNISHED? Hands down it's the former. This difference will not make me jump ship to other Asian cinemas as it has sadly done to most HK cinema fans. Before you lambaste me, i'm not saying it's ALL Milkyway's fault, but they are HK's forerunner for the globe. It's becoming a played out discussion, I know, but even with the played out Milkyway formula, I'm still on board. Just get your head out of your ass HK cinema. Think, gosh dang it! Think!

The following day, Wei and I headed into Chinatown to meet up with a couple of Canuck friends for dim sum and do a little HK movie shopping. The dim sum was delicious but the HK movie shopping was less fruitful. I might own way too many movies? My selections are becoming few. HK movie shopping aside we decided to make a nice day of it and stroll around a rainy days C-town, duck into a few stores, take some pics, and enjoy some bubble tea before heading home. Check out some posters splashed throughout C-town.

My canuck friend brought with him a few posters that I bought off of him, pictured above. There are some fantastic goodies in this batch and I hope to get around to posting them sometime soon. Which in my speak translates to a year or two from now. Check out my buddies two blogs, Kung Fu Fridays and Popcorn and Sticky Floors.

Above is the paltry selection I scored in C-town. HI, FIDELITY, DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART, MR. AND MS. INCREDIBLE, and WHAT WOMEN WANT. I forwent plunking down an overpriced buck on THE LOST BLADESMEN and LET THE BULLETS FLY, trying not to be too lossey-goosey with my money and only picked up the cheaper 4 movies mentioned. I can wait to see the latter two and buy used on Ebay.

And finally, to put the perfect stamp on a great weekend, Wei surprised me with a new Ipod. Specially inscribed just for me! How cool is that and how wonderful of a gal is Wei!? I think I'm marrying the right girl!? Now I can roll around naked in my vhs collection and make sweet loving to my laserdiscs while listening to an adult contemporary mix!

Mail Call and More CAT III Laserdiscs

2011-06-27T19:05:00.000-07:00

I know. I know. I'm getting tired of these laserdisc posts myself. Another one or two after this one. I promise. Thought I'd change it up a bit and add a few recent mail calls to the laserdisc label monotony. Above is a mail call from today. An awesome Ebay deal on 16 HK laserdiscs. Not quite the steal as my mother-load laserdisc purchase but still a great haul for the price. Some of the discs I am now rolling around naked in are: PHANTOM WAR, HEART OF KILLER, SEXY AND DANGEROUS, FURY IN RED, BLACK DREAM, OUR NEIGHBORHOOD DETECTIVE, RED WOLF, BIG BROTHER, AND OPERATION SCORPIO.

Another beautiful package I got about 2 weeks ago were these CAT III t-shirts that I found throughout my internet travels. The shirts are rather cheesily made: heavy ass Cotton, iron on CAT III symbols, and they almost go down to my knees. Nothing like the freakin' sweet tee's my buddy Brian makes over @ Shelf Life Clothing. If these two CAT III shirts don't tickle your taint, buy Brians CAT III tee right HERE. I did! Anyway, Wei's mom is doing me a favor by tailoring (shortening) the shirts for me. Because, in these tees, I look like Homer Simpson in a moo-moo.

And, here we are again. My tired new trend. More laserdiscs. This is kind of a special post though. Below are a few discs from my BIG haul. ALL of these crappers are low rent, shot-on-video, soft core CAT III's. Now, y'all might believe, according to my CAT III leanings, that I'm a super perv? Well, you would only be half right. I need my CAT III to be an actual film. Not a shot on video piece of goop. Not just ugly starlets sudsing their hirsute naughty bits in a shower and awkwardly banging pock marked losers. I don't get down with this stuff. But, I'm a much better person for taking this shit out of circulation. Once again, you're very welcome!

RAPSCALLION

CRAZY FOR YOU

FATAL SEX

FOOL FOR LOVE

WOMAN WHO EASY TO MAKE LOVE

SEX IN SPRING

MY VIRGIN- starring Yvonne Yung-hung and Lee Chung-ling!

HAPPY CHICKEN

JOJO NGAN- On the flip side of the discs is a video-log of HAPPY CHICKEN strumpet, Jojo Ngan.

DEADLY SEDUCTION

INSTINCT

???SALES???

ORPHAN

TRIAD- On the flip side of the disc with ORPHAN

Here's another sweet doodle by Dr. Lamb from THE MILKY WAY WONDERLAND. Weird thing is, this is exactly how Sleazy K and I review for THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE. In our stained tightie whities. How did Dr. Lamb know? K and I just recorded our latest sleaze-fest and it should be out in a few weeks. Stay tuned for our 'Shaw Boobies' episode as we track back to the super sexy swingin' 60's at Shaw Bros. famed 'Movie Town.' Also, after a brief hiatus, PODCAST ON FIRE has returned with a new episode. If you dig Japanese animation and are a fan of Studio Ghibli, check out the new JAPAN ON FIRE, featuring Hayao Miyazaki's LAPUTA: THE CASTLE IN THE SKY.

And bringing up the lovely rear, a little more to-do concerning the NYAFF. They have released this years excellent trailer. Check it out below. Also, their website is up an runnin' away.....HERE! And if that weren't enough, for those of you cool people who are on the up and up with newfangled technology, there is also an Iphone app!!! Word up! Get it HERE! I did!

NYAFF 2011 TRAILER

Laserdiscotheque!

2011-06-19T18:54:00.000-07:00

CLUB GIRL is some Taiwanese naughtiness from 1992. Thank you very much!

EMOTIONAL GIRL-DOUBT OF DISTRESS is a tedious CAT III turd from 1993, co-starring the ever horny Julie Lee Wa-yuet. I once wrote of this film on the blog, "Trampy Julie Lee Wa-yuet goes full-bore and in one scene rubs her brillo pad against Chang Kuo-chu's face." So, there were some good times to be had with the film.

PASSIONATE KILLING IN THE DREAM sports a kick as hair-do from Gordon Liu Chia-hui. great opening sequence, ho-hum rest of the film.

I also have DARK STREET GIGOLO aka BLACK STREET aka A DANCING BOY IN UNDERWORLD STREET on VHS and VCD. Reviewed the film back in January. Check it out HERE!

This is not the naughty 1974 Shaw Bros. flick starring Ai Ti but the 1993 dirty goodie with Pauline Chan Bo-lin.

Again, not the 1974 Shaw Bros. movie, but a 1992 CAT III'er aka SEX RACECOURSE, starring my lovely, Cindy Yip Sin-yi. Mmmmmmmm....Cindy Yip......

GHOST STORY 'GODMOTHER OF MONGKOK'

Really kick ass fighting film co-directed by the great Sonny Chiba! Sibelle Hu, Chin Ka-lok, and Ken Lo Wai-kong co-star alongside a brief bit by Mr. Chiba in this HK/Japan co-production from 1992. I found this DVD in C-town a year or so ago in the 'adult' section because the cover art was risque. Though the film is not, it's still a fine action entry. Look for it.

Solid actioner from 1992 aka DIE HARD TO FIGHT, starring Chin Siu-ho, Dick Wei, David Lam Wai, and Mondi Yau Yuet-ching.

I have the VCD and VHS of THE GREAT JETFOIL ROBBERY and have seen the film at least twice. Don't remember a dang thing about it?

Shot on video and unsubbed thriller starring all-stars Francis Ng Chun-yu and Chingmy Yau Suk-ching. I also have the VCD and another LD w/ original cover.

NYAFF 2011 TIX ON SALE NOW!!!!!

2011-06-16T21:37:00.000-07:00

HEY, HEY, HEY!!!! Tickets for the 10th Anniversary Edition of the NYAFF are on sale!!! NOW!!! Click on over to the Film Society At Lincoln Center site, peruse the schedule, and BUY, BUY, BUY some tickets! I did! And these are the movies I'll be attending.....

THE STORY OF RICKY (1992)

THE BLADE (1995)

REIGN OF ASSASSINS (2010)

DRAGON INN (1992)

DETECTIVE DEE AND THE MYSTERY OF THE PHANTOM FLAME (2010)

PUNISHED (2011)

There are a few other films that I would like to hit up but just don't have the time or capability. I am truly gutted that I can't attend the screening of ZU: THE WARRIORS FROM THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN. I'm seeing the midnight showing of THE STORY OF RICKY the night before and to trek back home and head back into the city for the early afternoon showing of ZU the following day is just impossible. Unless I sleep in Central Park or Port Authority, it's not happening. Royally pissed!

Anyway, it should be a great fest as always. The programmers work incredibly hard and show the love to their audience. If you are a NY'er or will be in the area from July 1st through July 14th, hit up the Walter Reade Theater @ Lincoln Center and show the 2011 NYAFF some special love. They give reach arounds!

More! More! More! How Do You Like It? How Do You Like It?

2011-06-14T17:15:00.000-07:00

EROTIC PASSION, starring that glorious HK film bastard Shum Wai. Is that a picture of a little lamb on the disc? I gotta watch this again! I don't remember seeing any beastiality? The alt. title for this dirty CAT III pic is LETHAL WOLF. Ahhhh! Wolf. Lamb. Got it!

THE PALE LOVER aka MY PALE LOVER

THE WRATH OF SILENCE. Anita Yuen Wing-yee and Takeshi Kaneshiro in a CAT III? Yup. Not as dirty as the rating would lead you to believe, but still a goodie.

Veronica Yip Yuk-hing with a side order of Charlie Cho Cha-lee in Cha Chuen-yee's TAKE ME. An underrated heyday director, had a really good run with the dirty CAT III genre but most noted for his ONCE UPON A TIME IN TRIAD SOCIETY films.

Check out the all-star CAT III line-up in LOVE IS OVER. Pauline Chan Bo-lin, Rena Otomo, Amy Wong Oi-mei, Lee Chung-ling, Choi Bo-lun, Stuart Ong, and that little home run hitter, Charlie Cho Cha-lee. Check out my review and poster HERE!

Unsubed, shot on video dreck.

See above....

....and once more....

THE DEADLY SIN aka, and better known as CHINA WHITE

THE DIRECT LINE aka THE GOLDEN CORPS COME FROM CHINA

And To To Too? TOTTOO GIRL is actually TATTOO GIRL aka KILLER BUTTERFLIES, an unsubed Taiwanese female actioner starring Kara Hui Ying-hung. I also have the VCD and that is unsubed as well. Any leads on a subtitled version? My good buddy Chuckie Cho is also in this.

If my dicky could talk, he would ask me, "Why am I so small?!"

My lovely Cindy Yip Sin-yi headlines this CAT III girl-gang chippie flick, REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE aka FLY WHEEL WOMAN CHILD GROUP. Co-written by Manfred Wong Man-chun, the man reportedly responsible with 'discovering' my mistress, Shu Qi. But I think thousand of young lads amidst the throws of puberty can also say the same?

Pardon Me While I Whip These Laserdiscs Out!

2011-06-11T21:31:00.000-07:00

CHINA DOLLS, starring Amy Yip. One of the 'Yipteases' in this film is a baby suckling one of Yip's fake boobs. Lucky baby!

LADIES KILLER is a 1992 CAT III goodie starring Carrie Ng Ka-lai, Rena Otomo, and Melvin Wong Gam-san. Check out my poster HERE.

THE JAIL OF NO RETURN is a Hugo Ng Doi-yung opus. This one is a favorite of John Charles.

Conan Lee Yuen-ba's debut, NINJA IN THE DRAGON'S DEN.

UNDERGROUND JUDGEMENT (1994)

Kick ass sorta sequel starring Yukari Oshima and unknown 'philipino' actor (1).

Little mentioned comedy co-written by Jacob Cheung Chi-leung starring Simon Loui Yu-yeng, Elvis Tsui Kam-kong, and the wonderful Victor Wong Chi-keung.

The lovely Cindy Yip Sin-yi stars in this nice little CAT III thriller scripted by Shaw Bros. starlet (and Gallant) Siu Yam-yam. Directed by Lam Yee-hung.

This is the 1992 version with Lily Lee Lee-lee (I love saying her name) and directed/scripted/starring Bruce Le.

Another pic directed by CAT III maven Lam Yee-hung. I reviewed LOVE BIRDS here.

The 738th HK film to have the word 'Fatal' in it's title, this nice nasty stars Charlie Cho Cha-lee!

The Brothers Chin star in this cool little Thailand set actioner with Michiko Nishiwaki and Carrie Ng Ka-lai. This wondeful oddity contains full frontal transvestite nudity!? Good times! No, seriously. This movie is a lot of fun.

Herman Yau Lai-to and Anthony Wong Chau-sang together again in COP IMAGE.

Getting sick of this yet? I hope not? I have a bunch more to post!

Please sir, I want some more......HK Movie Laserdiscs!

2011-06-08T18:51:00.000-07:00

Fun Taiwanese action with Kara Hui Ying-hung, Chin Siu-ho, Chin Kar-lok, and Big Silly Head!

Two pervy guys sit in a studio and canto dub a European 'Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex' film. Odd and very European, ie. hairy! Wonderful subtitle: "Then touch the udder down to the navel. Pat her navel lightly, then go down up to her her heartland." I have a feeling after watching this you will still have many questions about sex?

SPIRIT OF LOVE. Loletta Lee Lai-chun stars in this Jamie Luk Kim-ming pic. I also have the VHS but neither the VHS of LD have subs. Is this one available with subs?

Cindy Yip Sin-yi shot on video dud w/o subs. Also have the VHS w/o subs.

"You shot my dicky!'

Silly sex documentary follows Lee Chung-ling around Asia gazing into other cultures sexual mores. Brief bit by Pauline Chan Bo-lin. Fully clothed!

Unsubed. Is there a subtitled version available?

Ho-hum Taiwanese gangster stuff. Occasionally spitfire but largely a bore. See the same directors MIDNIGHT CONJURE and HORRIBLE HIGH HEELS for some wild fun.

Cheap, dirty, and beautiful riff on THE UNTOLD STORY.

I LOVE MISS FOX. Do I?

Really fun trio of dirty stories. Cindy Yip Sin-yi is also in this one. I have quite a thing for Ms. Yip! Maybe I should review this one?

Excellent WIP pic starring that tough Taiwanese hottie, To Gwai-fa.

More HK Laserdiscs

2011-06-05T19:19:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhh....some more sexy HK laserdisc labels. So good lookin'. LOVE CHASER. You all remember LOVE CHASER? It contains one of the best scenes lensed in Hong Kong cinema! It's a five hanky film.

WEST BIG HEAVEN KINGaka ESCORT SERVICE. This was my 'Last Sleazy Movies Watched' for our SEX AND ZEN episode of the This Week in Sleaze podcast.

OFFENCE STORM stars Cindy Yip Sin-yi. One of my favorite HK CAT III starlets.

CRAZY EMPEROR. Home of '12 inches Chau.'

I thought the 'pink door' was the front door? Oh. I get it.

ESCAPE FROM BROTHEL. Sophia Crawfords crowning/bushy-as-heck martial arts achievement.

I have MISS BUTTERFLY on VHS but neither the LD or VHS have subs. Anyone know of a subtitled version?

SEX FLOWER

.......More to come.......

Ebay is A-OK!

2011-06-02T21:41:00.000-07:00

I teased a bit in the last post that I recently made an Ebay purchase to end ALL Ebay purchases. Well, to a HK cinema lovin' weirdo like myself, it is. 700 or so Hong Kong movie laserdiscs!!! Since some are double discs the actual number of films is a touch lower in the 600's but.....600 Hong Kong movie laserdiscs!!!!! Holy crap!!!!

I had spied the listing a few weeks back tagged with the suspicious 'Local Pick-up Only.' Sweat immediately began to form over my brow and the pucker factor went into effect as I read these words, recalling my only other 'local pick-up only' encounter. Remember that? A Q Lazarus synthesizer began to reverb in my ear. The 'pick-up' was rather close by so I shook the Buffalo Bill images out of my head and waited with baited breath to bid on the 600 discs.

The day came and I won the discs for a cool $276 bucks. An e-mail with a phone number to call the seller quickly appeared in my inbox. As I dialed the number sweat began to form again. What kind of weirdo was I gonna be speaking to on the other end? Of course, that's a terrible thought to think? Maybe he/she was a nice fella/gal? But I was quickly ensured that the person I began speaking to was a 'special' character. A few brief pleasantries and a meet-up at his home was set up for later in the day. Before hanging up, the gentleman on the other end asked if I was interested in any Japanese porno or karaoke discs? I said, "No thank you. I don't collect that stuff. I'll just take the Chinese movies." He replied, "OK. Some weirdo or pervert will take 'em i'm sure." Oh lordy?! What was I in for?

Being behind in this electronic age of ours and not having a GPS had me driving around the sticks at dusk, looking for this dudes house. His home was located a little more out east on Long Island. Not too far out but far removed enough for us central Long Island folks to think of Deliverance. It's either woodsy or farm-like. I was unfamiliar with the area and realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore when a teen driving a tractor down the middle of the road wouldn't let me bear left. Douche!

I pulled into the driveway of a rather enormous house. There was trash all over the lawn and at least a dozen garbage cans lined up on the side of the driveway. A huge mound of compost and trash (and quite possibly a dead body?), at least 6 feet high and 15 feet wide greeted me as I opened my car door. Before stepping out I took a pic of the house an it's address just in case my immediate future had me locked in a closet like Patty Hearst. I texted to my fiance my exact whereabouts as well. I walked up to the front door, side stepping animal feces on the front walkway, and knocked.

Two tiny dogs began to bark their heads off., scratching at the front door. I was hoping that these were the creatures responsible for the walkway turd's and not some other monsters. A woman answered the door, pleasantly, with a smile and a warm hello. Rather easy on the eyes and kinda hippie chick looking. Long blonde hair; crimped. A long purple and white skirt. Bare feet. Though I didn't whiff patchouli oil or see Birkenstocks I figured her name was probably 'Moon Beam' or something to that tie-die effect. "He'll be right out," she said. I thanked her, she turned and walked away, and I waited on the front porch where a handful of large boxes of laserdiscs sat. My laserdiscs. Out in the elements. Did I just get ripped off?

From the Ebay photo in the original listing I was fully aware that the discs came without their original covers. Even though I am kind of a stickler for the original product, cover and artwork intact, I just couldn't pass this deal up. And I quickly overlooked the covers as I thumbed through a few of the discs. I was already a very happy little boy.

The seller came out, shook my hand, and said, "Hey. Nice ta meet ya." As he shook my hand I noticed an orange 'PAID' sticker, the kind cashiers slap on a newly purchased item at a grocery store, on the underside of his forearm. I not once thought of telling him. I wanted this to go down like a drug deal in the movies. Quickly shake hands, get the goods, and get the F outta there. He was a stocky man. Short messy hair and a touch cross-eyed. He pointed to the discs on the front porch and said that he would help me carry them to my car. These bad boys were heavy as hell and as I struggled down the steps of the stoop he advised me I could cut across the lawn but to watch out for all of the dog shit. I thanked him and first box in hand, clumsily side stepped white petrified shit bombs peppered ALL OVER this fellas front lawn.

We loaded up the boxes and awkwardly chit-chatted for a bit. He handed me his business card and told me he was a professional picker. I looked down at his card and indeed he was. The card said so. 'Professional Picker.' I had no clue what that was and briefly thought to ask him if he was grinner, a lover, and a sinner as well, but let that moment zip on by. Car keys in my hand, I was ready to bolt. He was also a DJ but there was no way I was gonna tell him that I was in the market for one to cover my upcoming wedding. Hell no.

I was about to turn and leave when he once again asked, "Are you sure you don't want those pornos? I don't know what to do with 'em?" I again told him that I wasn't interested and he again told me about the weirdo's and perverts that he's sure will take them. He reiterated that the discs were Asian. I began to realize that he wasn't sure what he had as when he listed the Hong Kong movies on Ebay, they were listed as Japanese. So, I asked to see the porn and karaoke discs, just so I could possibly decipher what they actually in fact were? He led me into his garage, a two car, which was wide open and full of crap. He freed up a few boxes, another 100 or so discs, from the clutter resting on top of them and took a few discs out. These discs had plain white covers with letters and numbers printed on them. Obvious former rentals, like the rest of the batch I won. The first two he pulled were MILLIONAIRE COP and MR. NICE GUY.

I instantly became elated....and ok...maybe aroused, as I spurted, "This is not porn! These are regular Hong Kong movies!" He thumbed through a few more and took out ROYAL TRAMP and GREEN SNAKE. He replied, "Really? I though they were all porn because the cover has the letter 'L' on them. I thought it stood for 'Lust'?" Oy vey!? We thumbed through a few more and it was clear to see that these discs were not porn, just regular Hong Kong movies. He offered them to me for 50 bucks. Sold. He helped me carry them to my car, shook my hand again and again I noticed the orange 'PAID' sticker on his forearm. He was a rather nice guy and this is where I realized, once again, that I'm such a shit. Preconceived notions about people really make me a dick sometimes.

Just before I left he told me that he gave a box of these 'porn' movies to his friend who was also a picker. He gave me his number and said he would let him know that I would be calling. He actually lived in my hometown. A few days later a meeting was set up to acquire another big box load of discs for only $50. That 'pick-up only' story was brief and smooth. So now i'm 700 laserdics richer! A few of the discs are scratched up and dirty but have been tested and are in playable condition. I have since ordered plain covers for them and I hope to try and preserve them the best I can. I don't have room for this stuff and my fiance, though supportive of my HK collecting illness, i'm sure worries about our future home. It will most likely look like that dudes house? Hopefully sans the petrified dog shit but only time will tell.

Please forgive me for blathering on and on. This is the kind of blog post that I just can't stand. Long. So, I will STFU and just leave you with a few pics of a few of the cooler titles that were in the bunch. For all of the ROCK 'N ROLL COPS and FEEL 100%, ONCE MORES there are a bunch of obscure titles. I have the vast majority of these laserdiscs in other formats, so, it wasn't a huge win in terms of adding new movies to my collection. But it was a win none the less. I also scored over 100 CAT III movies in this lot as well. I was, and still am, a very happy little camper. I know looking at disc labels isn't as sexy as looking at laserdisc cover art in all of it's coolness and splendor but, thanks for humoring me and enjoy!

NYAFF 2011 Official Line-Up.....and some other cool thangs

2011-06-01T07:43:00.001-07:00

Hey! Been neglecting my blog duties a bit as of late due to that bitch named Money! Overtime has been swallowing me whole. 40+ hours of OT and 4 days of being up between 24 and 36 hours at a clip. All in one week! Does that math even add up?!?!?! Soooo, a quickie here before we get back to basics (I have an Ebay purchase to end ALL Ebay purchases to tell you guys about in the next week or so. Stay tuned).

The NYAFF has released their official 2011 10th Anniversary film and guest list. As we, or I, rather, only really care about the Hong Kong/China/Taiwan connection, here's the list of goodies in store for the fests goers:

First and foremost, as I have reported a few weeks back, Tsui Hark will prestige the fest and be present at screenings of DETECTIVE DEE, THE BLADE, DUEL TO THE DEATH, ZU: WARRIORS FROM THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN, and DRAGON INN!!!!

BENNY CHAN Muk-sing will also be there in the flesh with his new film, SHAOLIN. Rounding out Hong Kongs presentation are the new Johnnie To produced PUNISHED and last but certainly not f'ing least, us New Yawkers will be treated to a special screening of the CAT III balls to the wall classic, THE STORY OF RICKY!!!!!

Across the border to the north up yonder, the mainland entries in this years fest are BUDDHA MOUNTAIN with Fan Bing Bing and Sylvia Chang and OCEAN HEAVEN, a very sweet film and a wonderful dramatic departure for Jet Li (who kicks buns as an actor, by the way).

Across the South China Sea, Taiwan also gets in on the festival actiion as director Su Chao-pin gets a special focus as he arrives in the Big Apple with his John Woo Co-directed REIGN OF ASSASSINS in tow. Also on the dance card are Chao-pin's THE CABBIE and BETTER THAN SEX.

For the rest of the NYAFF 10th Anniversary line-up (for those of you who actually care about other Asian countries films) click on over to the Subway Cinema blog.
As usual, Jerry Ma over at Epic Proportions does what he does best, banging out some excellent NYAFF t-shirts. Last year he artfully created a sweet-ass Sammo Hung inspired T and this year it's Tsui Hark's turn. Check out the T above and Mr. Ma's artwork in detail below. I shall be taking orders!

I'm enormously engorged to announce that the kick ass original Chinatown bad boys, The Notorious MSG, have finally released their new full length album, HEAVY GHETTO. If you are not familiar with these mother dickers then you are sorely missing out on some great rap/punk beats. I've been following them for about 2 years now and swear by them. This was the first album I downloaded to my new Iphone and I can't stop banging my head to the super sexy swingin' sounds of The Notorious MSG!

And to bring up the rear of this post, another beautiful doodle by Dr. Lamb over at The Milky Way Wonderland. Me and Charlie. The CAT III Superman and his trusty squirt of a sidekick. My new Facebook profile pic.

And now I'm back off to work. OT beckons. My 19 hour shift begins.....

This Week In Sleaze episode 4: NAKED KILLER SPECIAL

2011-05-18T14:25:00.000-07:00

Zzzzziiiippppp! That's the beautiful sound of jeans unzipping in anticipation of our NAKED KILLER episode of This Week In Sleaze! I don't know the sound button-fly jeans make when they are unencumbered so I went with what I know. OK. Lotions at the ready? Check! Gird your buttocks, folks, click on over to Podcast On Fire Central and download this glorious wet stain of a podcast.

Without going into too much detail, Sleazy K and I connected a few dots between the exceptional Shaw Bros. classic, INTIMATE CONFESSIONS OF A CHINESE COURTESAN, and it's early 90's CAT III update, BARE NAKED CAKE GOAT aka NAKED KILLER. We will most definitely curl back up with 'INTIMATE CONFESSIONS' as we continue to go back to the future in upcoming podcasts, examining the messy birth of erotica in Hong Kong skinema.

We get on with things by discussing some of the major players that make up this dirty genre classic. Simon Yam tat-wah, Chingmy Yau Suk-ching, Carrie Ng Ka-lai, Yiu Wai, Hui Siu-hung, Sugawara Madoka, Ken Lo Wai-kwong, Clarence Fok yiu-leung, Peter Pau Tak-hai, and the Shlocky King of HK Cinema, Wong Jing, are all given their propers. Sleazy K and I also touch upon a bunch of other movies in this episode, mostly just grazing the tushies of these films, not really digging our fingertips into their cottage cheese-like flesh, as to not leave fingerprints. A few of the flicks we banter about are.....

I'M YOUR BIRTHDAY CAKE, HOLD YOU TIGHT

HER NAME IS CAT, THE BLACK PANTHER WARRIORS

THE FIRST TIME IS THE LAST TIME

REMAINS OF A WOMAN, LEGAL INNOCENCE

THE CYPRUS TIGERS

HIDDEN DESIRE

FULL CONTACT

EVIL INSTINCT

A WILD PARTY

FALSE LADY

DEVIL'S LOVE

As always the case with our sleazy broadcast, we bring up the rear with our 'Last Sleazy Movies Watched'. This go 'round, K bangs about gleefully on the cut and paste HER FATAL WAYS CAT III clone, DEVIL'S LOVE. Way back when I also posted about this enjoyable mish-mash exercise. And Ken and I concur. It's silly, dirty fun! Revisit those posts HERE.

ANOTHER PIECE OF ROMANCE

I go down a different CAT III path as I schmooze about the wonderful oddity that is.....ANOTHER PIECE OF ROMANCE. An appearance by my best friend, Charlie Cho Cha-lee, is only the tip of the peni.....er, iceberg. ANOTHER PIECE OF ROMANCE is a flick that I could babble-on about forever.....and I almost do!

Ahhhh.....the infamous Chingmy Yau/NAKED KILLER promo shot. Taken from behind!!!! Sleazy K relives a little of his youth as he reminisces about this very pic. And another piece of the Sleazy K puzzle falls into place.....

It's a 2 1/2+ hour doozy of a dirty podcast. Download it HERE and let the lovely Mary Palm and her 5 sisters lend you a helping hand as the soothing sounds of This Week In Sleaze carry you off into ecstasy.

*** Special thanks to John Charles, author of the indespensible HK film review manual, The Hong Kong Filmography, 1977-1997: A Reference Guide to 1,100 Films Produced by British Hong Kong Studios. John is a great supporter of the podcast and was able to pass along this gem on Peter Pau Tak-hai and the film, NAKED KILLER, "I had a chance to speak with Peter Pau back in 2000 and asked him (among other things) why he is credited in the trailer for NAKED KILLER. He said he shot the original footage for the spot (which I love) as a favor to Clarence Fok. Pau feels that he would not have a career if not for Fok, who hired Pau to serve as DP on THE GREATEST LOVER at a time when Pau could find no work in the industry and had pretty much given up (he didn't go into details, but I get the impression that shooting THE LEGEND OF WISELY was not a pleasant experience). The film was a hit, prompting Wong Jing to use Pau as DP on GOD OF GAMBLERS and his career was right back on track."

If you don't own John's book....well....then you really aren't a fan of Hong Kong cinema, now, are you? Don't despair, you can order a copy right HERE. Also, check out Johns old HK film website, Hong Kong Digital. It's another wonderful site for referencing HK films. Thanks again, John!

Friday Filler

2011-05-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

Some filler for your Friday. Check out Ekin 'Noodle' Cheng's lovely locks in my MEAN STREET STORY poster above. Wu Chien-lien seems to think he's so dreamy. I haven't seen MEAN STREET STORY and it's been in my ever growing stack of films I would like to see. But honestly, even though the lovely Chien-lien is in it, I don't think I will ever be getting around to it. And Speaking of Ms. Wu, another review of INTRUDER has popped up in the blogosphere and it's courtesy of my new favorite blog.....ladies and gents, please add to your blog roll.....THE MILKY WAY WONDERLAND!!!!

The blog, still in it's infancy (only a few days old, actually) is the brain child of David Lam, or, Dr. Lamb, if you prefer. The good Dr. has been a great supporter of Bullets Over Chinatown and the This Week In Sleaze podcast and has shared some very kind words with myself and Sleazy K. Please check out his blog as I fully believe he has a unique thing going on over there. His photo headers are damn wonderful and he's quite the artiste. Check out some of his awesome 'doodles' below. i might have to put one on a t-shirt? Maybe a future tattoo???

Wong Jing and his tiny, dangling CAT III symbol

This one is for, AHND!

Above, Kent Cheng Jak-si gives This Week In Sleaze the thumbs up! This doodle of good ol' Fatty Cheng was sent over to Sleazy K with a few kind words attached. Below, was a doodle sent to me, again, along with some kind words. The one....the only.......the Category III Super-Duperman himself......Mr. Charlie Cho Cha-lee! I fell in love with this drawing upon first site. It just made my day. Heck, it's still making my day a few days later! Great big thanks once again to the very talented David Lam. If you don't check out his blog, don't bother coming back to this one. Be gone! No...seriously. Oh. And about that INTRUDER review......

Charlie is ready to play 'Tune in Tsimshatsui'

I came across this rare Eric Tsang Chi-wai film a few weeks back. It's one I have never heard of. I found it under the title, XIN A LI BA BA. The 'Ali Baba' reference in the title points to something Arabian I suppose? And, indeed, by the look of the film, it appears to be a Aladdinesque comedy/fantasy. A true oddity for sure. I haven't watch the film fully, but as I skipped through the film to see it's quality, I came across this scene and just busted out laughing. It's apropos for the blog. What the heck is Eric doing with those donkey's????

Ip Man 1 + 2 posters

2011-05-11T18:19:00.000-07:00

IP MAN (2008)

IP MAN 2 (2010)

Lazy filler post here. Nothing special to report. Just two crappily folded poster that I found in Chinatown. Is rolling a poster so damn hard?

New York Asian Film Festival 10th Anniversary News

2011-05-09T16:45:00.001-07:00

Alrighty then. This past Thursday the fine folks over at Subway Cinema, who run the NYAFF, made a little announcement about this years 10th Anniversary edition of the festival. As far as Hong Kong films at the festival this year, a small time director will be in house for a retrospective of a few of his classic films. Tsui Hark's in the house!!!! And, along with a screening or two of DETECTIVE DEE, a few other pics are being scheduled as we speak, including THE BLADE. Tsui will be headlining the fests retrospect, "Wu Xia: Hong Kong's Flying Swordsmen." Can you say 'Tsui Hark?" I know you can!

Also on the docket is Taiwanese genre helmer, Su Chao-pin. Chao-pin co-directed a small movie this past year called, REIGN OF ASSASSINS. Maybe you have heard of it? His co-directing partner in this crime of a film (not using Michelle Yeoh's voice irked the shit out of me. But I get that it was integral to the story. BAH!) was a one Mr. John Woo. He will be presenting said film as well as a few of his classic films like BETTER THAN SEX.

My tighty whities have been juicy since the news dribbled out late last week and, though the fest schedule is not yet stone, it runs from July 1st through July 14th. I already requested opening weekend off from work. The entire cast has not been set yet so there will possibly be more surprises in store? I spoke to one of the festival folk who said that there is a very slim chance that SEX AND ZEN 3D could make an appearance, though I was told to not hold my breath. A young scamp can dream, can't he? Will I make a fool out of my self this year with some of the festivals famous? Stay tuned to find out!? I'm sure if I put my mind to it, I can!

Also, some cool news for NY'ers this week. At the same theater that holds the NYAFF, The Walter Reade Theater @ Lincoln Center, is the Taiwanese Cinema retrospective; Taiwan Stories: Classic and Contemporary Film From Taiwan. This goodie runs from May 6th through the 19th.

I was planning on attending two films this coming Friday, the King Hu (my blogger namesake) classic, A TOUCH OF ZEN and Doze Niu's cool contempo gangster pic, MONGA. Though I have the DVD and VHS of A TOUCH OF ZEN, I still have yet to see it. I also have the DVD of MONGA, a gift I was given straight from Taiwan. It's a movie I really dug and seeing it on the big screen would be pretty sweet. Seeing BOTH films on the big screen would be pretty sweet. Alas, it's most likely not meant to be. I'm not sure I'm feeling the train ride into NYC this weekend. Plus, there's a three hour lag between films where I will be left to stand around with my thumb up my bum. And I can always do that in the comfort of my own home. So, I'm leaning towards saving some money and just watching the films at home. Home. A true lazy film fans paradise.