Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A very, very blog birthday!

One year ago today, this icky yellowish stain of a blog was born out of boredom. From an inauspicious first blog post about Loletta Lee to a balls and shaft birthday cake (see below), courtesy of my friends in the film COME ON GIRLS, 365 days later. I would like to thank ALL of my readers who take the time to stop by every now and again to check up on my baby and make sure it's fed. I hope this spot acts as a respite from your internet travels. A quick stop at an oasis of silliness. I really intend for this blog to be a spot used for nonsense. At times, maybe, posting things of consequence, but for the most part, a fun low brow foray into the seamier side of HK cinema. This place wouldn't be the same without you guys and gals. I've made a bunch of new friends this year through this blog and I hope to continue to cultivate those friendships this coming year while continuing in a tongue-in-cheek Category IIIish direction. Thanks again! CATEGORY III OR BUST!



Saturday, November 27, 2010

FINALLY! My last day at the NYAFF 2010. Bruce Leung Siu-lung and GALLANTS

FINALLY! Posting my last day at the NYAFF 2010. This was sometime back at the beginning of July. It's been so long that I don't remember the date or many other specifics that would have made this blog post a ton better. I know that I was ass-tired from shleping back and forth from out on Long Island and into the city via the LIRR, then dragging butt in the sweaty NYC heat on up to Lincoln Center. I think by this time I started taking a taxi instead of hoofing it? I kept showing up to screenings a swamp assed mess. Even with wet naps, deodorant, and body spray in tow, the pinched nostrils from my theater mates was noticeable. Sorry ya'll.

It was the North American Premiere of Clement Cheng Si-kit and Derek Kwok-chi Kin's GALLANTS. The scuttlebutt on this film was immense and it was the ONLY HK film that I was actually counting the days to see. At the screening, as you can see by the pics, were two of the films stars, Bruce Leung Siu-leung and Ou-Yang Ching aka MC Jin. Hooray!

NYAFF Master of Ceremonies, Grady Hendrix, in his usual form, a man possessed, welcomed Bruce and Jin to the stage and both received a much deserved standing O and bs'ed with the audience before the screening; Bruce through and interpreter and Jin, being an ABC, in English, with a few Yo! MTV Raps mannerisms thrown in. He was a 'rapper' ya know? It was simply awesome to see Bruce, who stated that this was his first time in the U.S., be so amused with the amount of fans he had in the audience. Ever grinning ear to ear and thrilled to be there. He and Jin joined the audience in watching the film as well.

I enjoyed GALLANTS. Maybe not as much as the majority of HK cinema folk, but enough. A few other pics from 2010 were a tad more enjoyable; I'm looking at you DREAM HOME and IP MAN 2. But GALLANTS is definitely among these two as a winner for HK film in 2010. I'm not going to attempt a review because other people have done it and done it way better than I could ever do. For examples, hit up the Achillesgirl on HKCinemagic HERE and also the Achillesgirl in Action Land's blog for a different view of the film...right........HERE. GALLANTS received another standing ovation at it's conclusion. A swelling feeling of joy that HK cinema still had life.

I have since watched GALLANTS a second time on DVD. This time around I was showing Wei the film on one of our 'Double Feature Friday' date nights (I think I showed her Sex & Zen after. Great date night!), and she really enjoyed it. For me, it was better the second time around, and I even became choked up as Teddy Robin Kwan exits the film. Wei did as well.

MC Jin and I. How ALL of my pics should come out.

Bruce rides away in style.
After the film, out in front of the Walter Reade theater, Bruce and Jin took photos with the stragglers. With the subtlety of a crazed stalker, I was able to shove my camera in another moviegoers hand and ask if he can take a pic of me with Bruce. Before he could say yes, I had my arm around Bruce as if he were my lover. The pic came out rather good (I have it posted on Facebook) and maybe I will post it here someday? As Bruce was leaving, and while I was still in embarrassing stalker mode, I was able to snap a quick shot or two of his departure in a gorgeous luxury vehicle (see above photo). Nothing but the best for Bruce in NYC! If you missed my other posts covering the 2010 NYAFF, go HERE, and read about more sweaty stalkerazzi awkwardness. I have issues.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

TAKE ME (1991)







Monday, November 22, 2010



The CAT III-goodies reliable Lam Yee-hung, director of such hey day nudie trash like PROSTITUTE, LIU JAI: HOME FOR THE INTIMATE GHOST, THE OTHER SIDE OF DOLLS, and THE STORY OF LADY SUE, lenses a silly soft core bangabout with, LOVE NEST aka LOVE BIRDS. Yee-hung's game from the early 90's onward was almost exclusively about naked ladies and he has a masters hand in soft focus freakin'. His form is nicely on display here in LOVE NEST. The copy I watched only runs about 75 minutes, and with a few chops in editing, leads me to believe that there is an uncut version available. Maybe under its aka title, LOVE BIRDS? But fear not. This version is more than serviceable and contains enough naked bits and pieces to hold your attention as you hold yourself (I think I have used that joke before? Crap as it is. I need a new shtick.). Yee-hung also includes a familiar ditty or two in the form of instrumental love making interludes to Kenny G's 'Silhouette' and The Eagles 'I Can't Tell You Why?" Nothing says hot sex like the swingin' sounds of Adult Contemporary music.

The lame-o story centers on the burgeoning relationship between Eliza Yue Chi-wah and Dennis Tang Chung-kwan. Upon discovering his hookerish girlfriend, played by the awesomely named Lily Lee Lee-lee (say that name 10 times fast), is, well, acting like a hooker, a distraught Dennis takes off in his Wrangler. Beside himself, he proceeds in getting into a head on collision. Vehicle vs. vehicle. Head vs. steering wheel. This incident leaves him blind and sends him into seclusion in his mothers home. His mother, at wits end as to what to do with her now handicapped curmudgeon of a son, hires the nubile Eliza to tend to his affairs. And i'm sure you can guess what happens next? Baw chicka-wah-wah. It's a Vaseline lensed bang-a-thon for the remainder of the film as Eliza teaches Dennis to live dammit! Live!

Marco?! Marco?! Fish out of water?!

OK. Let me see what I'm working with here...

...bite size.

I'm your Birthday Cake.

Ok, so as Eliza slowly brings Dennis back to reality, she also persuades him to visit the opthamologist, or 'oculist', as it says in the subtitles. The oculist says his blindness can be cured via laser treatment, as the subs state, "There's no need an cutlery operation," because "the sight nerve is not ruined." As you can see in the photos above and below, the oculist and his little white magic laser beams finally cure Dennis of his malady. And now Dennis can finally see the girl he has been buggering for the past few weeks and he and Eliza live happily ever after. I think he should have also asked the doctor for a shot of penicillin?

I also reviewed another Eliza Yue Chi-wai film, ANGER GIRL, earlier this year. ANGER GIRL was a decent girls-with-guns drama, including a touch of Eliza nudity for the pervs. Go HERE to read that review and see my ANGER GIRL poster and VHS. I have around 17 or so other Lam Yee-hung smutters that I hope to throw out here in the future. Stay tuned.

Thursday, November 18, 2010



Pauline, a contemptuous young tramp, is ordered by the court to live with her aunt and uncle for a spell so she can cool her heels (which seem to hang out around her ears a lot) while her father sorts out her affairs before they can return to the states. She's a wild trollop and has trouble shaking her whorish ways once in her extended family's care. Her aunt is a put upon woman charged with taking care of her husband, a wheel chair bound man whose only real issue in the film is the one with his gimpy third leg. Add a sexually curious young neighbor into the mix with the hots for 'ol auntie and what you have is a rather erotic CAT III flicker. And none to bad.

There is a butt load of nookie going on in this flick, and sometimes the nookie is even in the butt! If you're a Hong Kong skinema fan, than pull up a chair and uncap that Vaseline jar. This ones for you. The heat gets turned up, things get sultry, and sweat isn't the only stain left behind.
Mustache rides, $1.00

Oh! The passion.

An interesting situation springs up in this dirty soap opera when Pauline tries to enact some revenge on her auntie for stealing her young man crush. Armed with the Hong Kong cinema sex potion known only in HK movie subs as 'philtre,' Pauline spikes the couples soup. And then, well, it becomes a wild scene, man. All three of them strip down bare ass an go at it! Auntie, uncle, and niece get it on. Pauline goes down on her uncle, Pauline goes down on her aunt (and her backside too!), auntie goes down on Pauline! Pauline and auntie bump their bits! All of this sweaty action culminating in a torrid three-way on uncles wheelchair, Pauline pausing now and again to sneak a quick blackmail snapshot. It's a freaky family affair. And I really enjoyed my time with them.

Climb on. Let's play Murderball.
HIDDEN PASSION is a crazy ass piece of erotica. The last half of the film is an endurance test of slap and tickle that contains booty scene after booty scene after booty scene after booty scene and only hard core CAT III fans need unzip. Good times. Good naked times.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


I recently wasted my time watching this overblown Benny Chan Muk-sing mess and I am going to waste more time giving it credence through a blog post. I recently posted on my Facebook, "If I never see a Benny Chan Muk-sing film again, it will be too soon. That being said, Hong Kong cinema is like sex and pizza.....=)." Outside of most CAT III fare, and HK's omnipresent romantic comedies, my sex and pizza comment is tailor made for films as shitty as this one. I am not a fan of the ham fisted special effects opuses that Chan has recently called 'films.' OK. Sans CONNECTED. That one was a goodie. Though I do believe they hold a place in HK cinema. Chan seems to suit his films as HK equivalents to the US 'Summer Blockbuster', a type of film that I am not too fond of and usually wait a year or two to rent for free at my local library. Without bad HK films like CITY UNDER SIEGE, what would a good HK film be?
I shouldn't turd on all of Chan's work. As it happens, I really enjoy most of his efforts, especially his early stuff. My Facebook comment was kind of a knee jerk reaction as I go limp when I see CGI and whacked out wire work. Chans films via the 90's used some wire work when wire work was welcome. It was expected in a film and though sometimes obvious, exposed wires and all, seemed believable. You would think that 20 years later, with the heavy hand of CGI looming large, that wire work would appear more believable? After 20 years of computer generated innovation, I surely thought so. Not in CITY UNDER SIEGE. The visible wires may be erased by technology but the unnatural flow of fight scenes and actors being flung through the air looks damn foolish. And this is only one of many embarrassments occupying CITY UNDER SIEGE. To list other shortcomings would be careless and spoiler laden. I'm choosing to fashion this post as a kindly word of warning.

So, briefly, as the story goes, a traveling circus troupe come across an underground bunker in Malaysia where the Japanese Army used to run malicious experiments on their captives. The troupe releases a toxin that turns them into mutants. Well, all but our comely hero, Aaron Kwok Fu-sing. Instead of turning Mr. Kwok into a hideous freak, the chemicals turn him into a Super Human! And then it's on like Donkey Kong! It's the handsome Super Human vs. The Mutants, with more than a few nods to X-Men and a little Shu Qi thrown in (My lovely madame, Shu Qi, the only reason I threw this crapper on). It's a special effects laden shit storm of bombast. And as negative as I am in recounting this film, as I mentioned above, I still find a touch of merit in what I believe it is trying to do, updating a story and type of film that would have worked and been commercially lauded 20 years earlier. It fails miserably, but the ridiculous plot of CITY UNDER SIEGE is the kind of story I fell in love with when turning to HK cinema. It's ridiculous! A circus troupe turning into mutants with super strength who Kung Fu fight each other?! Circa late 80's/early 90's, CITY UNDER SIEGE sounds like a Wong Jing spectacle? No? Something akin to MAGIC CRYSTAL or one of the Wisely adventures, maybe? OK. I'm done here with this post. It's boring me. No T&A. I forayed into the mainstream this past week and gave some recent films their due, enjoying most of what I saw. I hope to post my posters and brief blurbs about those films by years end. But for now, it's back to the boobies. Hooray!