The Coolest HK Movies You Have Never Seen. Part 1

CRAZY LESBIAN WOODCHOPPER aka TWO GIRLS FACED (1995)

Sporting one of the best alternative titles I have ever seen, CRAZY LESBIAN WOODCHOPPER, is, alas, only a fan-made moniker. The actual film is a slow, slow, CAT III burner from 1995 called TWO GIRLS FACED. The film does get a touch nutty, it does have some lady lovers, and there is an axe or two in the proceedings to ring true it's silly aka title. Clocking in at just under 80 minutes, incorporating HK type mayhem (as you can see in the vid above), and adding some bump and grind, TWO GIRLS FACED is instantly fan friendly. The only notable faces in this fun mess are Alvina Kong Yan-yin and the always nasty delight, William Ho Ka-kui.

NOBODY'S HERO (1989)

NOBODY'S HERO is Hong Kong's most direct answer to Scorcese's TAXI DRIVER. Possessing similar stories and desperate performances by the respective leads, NOBODY'S HERO proves that a hero ain't nuttin' but a sandwich. NOBODY'S HERO is at times sweet and playful, eventually careening out of control, before spiraling downward into one of the most shocking and effective ultra violence climaxes put to HK celluloid. A true visceral experience and not only the coolest but one of the BEST HK films you have never seen. Liu Wai-hung, who is more of a comedic presence in films, is totally transformed by films end into a sympathetic vigilante. I also posted this on my FB page, this video reminding me of a bit of Travis Bickle dialogue from Taxi Driver, "Listen, you f**kers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the c**ts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up." Also look for a vicious performance by Sunny Fang Kang. What a scumbag!

WHORE AND POLICEWOMAN (1993)

I have mentioned this beautiful gem a few times before, once giving you guys a gander at my poster and again blabbering and stuttering my way through a review on the first episode of This Week in Sleaze. Another wonderful title is not wasted as kick-buns HK copper Michicko Nishiwaki and happy hooker Julia Cheng Yim-lai befriend each other and fight their way through baddie henchmen in order to uncover some dirty deeds done by villain, Charlie Cho Cha-lee. It's a jumpy CAT III action romp that is a touch rare and will scratch you right where you itch. Though I'm really not sure where you guys are itchin'? But Charlie Cho will gladly rub some lotion on your troubled area for you. He really cares.

-

I have a bunch of hidden HK gems that I'm hoping to post here in this short video form. Keeping it simple and stupid. Quick, easy....and fun! Some you may have seen or just heard of and some you might have no clue about? These will be the COOLEST HK movies you have never seen. Promise.

Whore and Policewoman (1993)

Whore and Policewoman

Here is a very cool Pakistani poster I have for the 1993 CAT III chippie-actioner
WHORE AND POLICEWOMAN aka WHORE & POLICE WOMAN starring the tough and lovely Michiko Nishiwaki, Julia Cheng Yim-lai, the late great Kwan Hoi-san, and an appearance by my favorite booty snatcher, Charlie Cho Cha-lee. Director Wong Gwok-chue also directed Michiko in another cool CAT III flick, PASSIONATE KILLING IN THE DREAM. I admittedly don't remember much about WHORE AND POLICEWOMAN as I saw it years ago. I was going to try and dig out the VCD I have and give it a cursory rewatch for blog purposes but I was too lazy. I'm so tired and sore from hoofing it around the city this weekend.

Michiko Nishiwaki



This Policewoman is a 'straigh' shooter!

Above is a great piece of flubtitling as the poster describes the Policewoman, Michiko Nishiwaki, as fresh and "straigh". The printer probably had his hand hacked off for this error. And a prostitute who is "capricious" and "daring"? Get out!? Also, below, according to Pakistani film aficionados, the director of this film is not Wong Gwok-chue but in fact Stephen Miller. He and his band provided the score to the film as well, including hits "The Joker" and "Jet Airliner." OK. OK. I kid. I kid.

Wong Gwok-chue is also known as Stephen Miller in Pakistan. He also sang the 1982 hit Abracadbra.

I heart VCD's

The Unpublicizable File, False Lady, Devil Fetus

Some more VCD's from my collection. Some excellent titles, if not excellent movies, in this batch. THE UNPUBLICIZEABLE FILE is a cheap and dirty Cat III thriller from 1993. The only name of note in this THE UNTOLD STORY rip-off is excellent character actor William Ho Ka-kui. It sometimes appears as two separate films smushed together, and quite possibly is. The two separate paths do eventually cross though and the film is satisfying in it's Cat III excess, ie. boobies and blood. Good times.

Whore and Policewoman, Another Piece of Romance, Pizza Express

Another fine title and film is the 1993 actioner WHORE AND POLICEMAN, starring Michiko Nishiwaki, Julia Cheng Yim-lai, and one of my favorites (and profile pic), Charlie Cho Cha-lee. It's a kind-of by the numbers action flick with moments of stylish Cat III givings. It was directed by Wong Gwok-chue who also directed Michiko in another Cat III goodie, PASSIONATE KILLING IN THE DREAM.
Charlie Cho Cha-lee headlines another flick shown above, the wacky adultery flick, ANOTHER PIECE OF ROMANCE. This one concerns a gaggle of spurned wives who seek out revenge on their philandering husbands. The film includes a bunch of trans genders (nudity included!), as well as a transgender Anita Mui look-a-like!? A funny scene to watch for and behold is Charlie Cho getting his comeuppance as his wife slices off captain winky and tosses it into a flock of ducks. One of the duck's runs off with Cho's dismembered member in it's bill. Hysterical stuff!

The Six Devil Women, Baroness, Tattoo Girl

A few others that I advocate looking for are the 1983 horror film DEVIL FETUS, the low budget 1996 Cat III crime film THE SIX DEVIL WOMEN, starring "Mystical Breasts" Diana Pang Dan, Jimmy Wong Shu Shu-kei, and William Ho Ka-kui, and finally 1992 Cat III comedy FALSE LADY. The latter is a HK variation of the 1991 American film SWITCH, directed by Blake Edwards. All three are satisfying entries in their particular genre. One to avoid like sickly looking cat is the B&S produced PIZZA LOVER. It's a shot on digital video piece of turd starring absolutely no one you really care about. If you remember from my THERE'S A GHOST IN THE BOYS ROOM post, B&S was that low budget production company that produced shit fest after shit fest with only a few nuggets rising to the top.

Also of note here is the Anthony Wong Chau-sang film BARONESS. Now, while the film isn't anything to seek out, it is the first VCD I ever purchased. It was around the year 2000 and I was a frequent visitor to a nearby flea market that had a kung-fu VHS stall run by a few shady characters. They were duping HK flicks to VHS and selling them for 10 bucks a pop! As I mentioned in previous posts, at this particular time, there weren't that many outlets to by HK flicks. These guys were no better than the gray market companies I was dealing with but they were at least $10 cheaper. So I frequented their little stall of ill repute almost daily, scoring a "good" deal every now and then for being a frequent flyer. Eventually they branched out and added a few overpriced VCD's and DVD's as these formats became better known and available. Among the dozen or so VCD's they randomly had in their janky glass display case was a one, BARONESS. It caught my eye being as it had the one and only Anthony Wong Chau-sang on the cover and also because it was a brand new release and they were hard to come by. I think it cost about $12? I returned the next day, again plunked down $12, and picked up my second VCD. The 1998 action flick THE BLACKSHEEP AFFAIR. Yeah, so maybe I was a little bit of a late VCD bloomer? But now I own well over 1,000, so I think I've made up for it.