Friday, August 31, 2012

Three By Jackie

 Leave it to U.S. distribution companies to shit on a foreign film with lazy advertising.  Jackie Chan's RUMBLE IN THE BRONX was his re-entry into the territory so you would think that a nice, big, happy Jackie mug, big ass schnoz and all, would adorn ALL of the films adverts.  Negatory, good buddy.  The poster above only shows his fist.  Is it even his fist?  Maybe his schnoz was too big?!
 Cool Fist Jackie

 Ok.  This one is a tad better. It's still shit, but it actually has Chan attached too 'his' fist.  And two Jackie's at that!  By the by, TWIN DRAGONS happens to be my most favorite JC flick.  You can keep your DRAGONS FOREVER and MEALS ON WHEELSTWIN DRAGONS is where it's at.  I'll save my reasoning for a sooner rather than later date, as my blogger/Facebook buddy A Hero Never Dies, has undertook quite an endeavour, polling other friendly bloggers on what their top 10 favorite HK films are. My list has been submitted and you'll all soon find out.  Hint:  there are CAT III movies on the list.
 And once more.  Jackie gives us the fist!

Bullets Over C-town toilet humor:
Jackie, before and after a nice stool. 

Meh. Sometimes they land. Sometimes they don't. Anyway, to check out your friendly bloggers top 10 favorite HK films, head on over to AHeroNeverDies.  Some great picks among the lot. Scroll through and see if your faves made the cut. -

I still remember when JC's GORGEOUS debuted on cable.  It was a six pack Natty Light night.  I was already pants down into Shu Qi and just couldn't wait to sit, watch, and wonder what my life would be life with her.  She's such a super lady.  Only outclassed by a-one Ms. Maggie Cheung.  And Ms. Cheug is in TWIN DRAGONS!  Score!  In that electric blue wig.  Yowza!  Nom nom nom nom nom.

GORGEOUS indeed. 

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Into The Fire- 烈火街頭 (1989)

Another Sammo Hung Kam-bo project sans the rotund one himself in front of the camera.  Instead of occupying the directors chair, as he did with SPOOKY, SPOOKY (find a few posts down), Hung produces this late 80's action-drama and hires out his stunt team so they can pay the rent.

Unfortunately, INTO THE FIRE, despite Hung's hand and this absolutely cool looking poster, is largely lackluster.  This is Sammo's first and only foray into the CAT III realm of the dirty, alas, no nipples on display.  Just foul Cantonese.  Colin Chou and Chin Siu-ho play brothers caught up in the dark side of HK and are actually finely cast, both for their martial skills as well as their young stud looks.  Both are incredibly wasted as turgid drama just blankets the film only sputtering out action few and far between.  Nonsensical considering this is a Hung production with two capable martial leads.  Also cast in the film in a rather meaty role is the the then newcomer, my pixie cutie-pie sweetheart, and usual CAT III sexpot, Chan Wing-chi.  Chan was busy back in good ol' '89 as INTO THE FIRE was her 7th film that year.   In the coming years, Chan lovingly turning her attention to the seedier side of Chinese Hollywood.   Hooray!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Posters From Mom's Attic

Sorry for the brief non-HK movie post.  But I thought this garbage was worthy of a show and tell.   As I have mentioned before, I finally made the move to the new house.  Over the past few weeks I've been breaking my back and producing copious amounts of swamp ass juice moving house during the dog days of summer.  Lucky me.  Along with moving my HK movies out of storage and into their new home I also climbed up into my mother's attic (No, that's not a euphemism you sickos)  and brought on home my collection of non HK movies and posters. 
The posters I've pictured here I don't even remember buying?  They must have come in an Ebay lot.  Save for CHAMPION OF DEATH, I've never even heard of these movies.  This must have been a 4 a.m., shit faced Ebay purchase.  Why the heck would I buy these crap posters?

I read somewhere that SHANGHAI NOON was modeled after this film.  NO. Not really.

Starring Black Jack Chan! Get out!  You don't say?!  "These turkeys fight dirty.  Black Jack gets mean.  He kicks not their legs, but just in between."  Ha!  I must track this down.  Is this even a real movie?  This just goes to prove, malt liquor and Ebay after hours do not mix.  You've been warned.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Spooky, Spooky- 鬼猛腳 (1988)

Would you believe I have never seen SPOOKY, SPOOKY?  Well, I don't believe it has any dirty pillows on display so maybe it's not a stretch.  But that's not being fair to myself.  I'm not a total perv.  I of course watch more than CAT III films.  And this one is in the ever important 'to-watch' stack.  Below the CAT III's, of course. 
Anyway, SPOOKY, SPOOKY is a HK ghost comedy.  The ghost comedy is the kind of high art that I do believe only HK did best.  Back in the heyday it was one of their niche markets.  And this one was directed by the great Sammo Hung kam-bo!  It's true!
Sammo stays behind the camera for this effort but a bit of the old nepotism shines it's lovely face in the form of Ms. Sammo Hung, the WOWZA YOWZA Joyce Godenzi.  That's reason enough to run this one down.
The rest of the cast is rounded out by old reliables, Alfred cheung kin-ting, Wu Ma, Chung Faat, Mars, Corey Yuen Kwai, Pauline Wong Yuk-wan, Richard Ng Yiu-hon, Billy Lau Nam-kwong, and Yuen Wah, who also did the action directing.  Chin Ka-lok also served as one of the assistant action directors.  Sounds sweet!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Champion Operation- 哈林行動 (1986)


So, we are going from one op to another.  OPERATION SCORPIO to CHAMPION OPERATION.   Oh, you have never heard of CHAMPION OPERATION!?  Well that's for shame!  'CHAMP-OP' (a reworking of the title that I, myself, coined because I'm cool and wont to do.  It's a curse suffering such flights of whimsy) is probably one of the greatest HK shooters you have never heard of.  So now we're gonna rectify that.

A few short months before John Woo's action melodrama epic A BETTER TOMORROW changed the face of HK cinema for the foreseeable future, CHAMPION OPERATION graced HK theaters for a robust 7 days.  Directed by go-to cinematographer Lau Hung-cheun (the man's shot flick for John Woo, Tsui Hark, Chang Cheh and Ringo Lam) and action directed by the totally off the meter Jackie Chan Stunt Team member, Chris Lee Kin-sang (think POLICE STORY bus scene- head vs. pavement = actual coma!!!), CHAMPION OPERATION is as exciting as it is full of nasty grit.  Churned out assembly line style like only the finest of Walmart apparel, CHAMP-OP unfortunately suffered a sheltered fate. No more room at the inn for such action fare?  Tut-tut. 

A bit of an aside, we finally closed on our house and started the big move-in.  As I was packing up my storage unit today I came across my Ocean Shores VHS of CHAMPION OPERATION.  Below is the crappy-cool title card from the VHS. 

Entirely worthy of the tippy top of your 'to watch' list, seek this out any way you can.  Beg, borrow, steal....or download.  A little birdy told me that he knows a guy who knows a guy who runs a HK movie blog with a yellow background that may or may not have uploaded this gem to a certain website.  I don't know if it's true or not but I'd say it's worth the search to find out.