Saturday, January 30, 2010

Horrible High Heels (1996)

You can never have too many copies of HORRIBLE HIGH HEELS on hand. Below you will find an ancient review I did for The 1996 Category III roughie HORRIBLE HIGH HEELS is a film to behold and cherish. It really is. The film is chock full of sick and trashy elements not limited to the bangin' of a goose and some 'water sports'. This Cat III masterpiece took no less than three, count 'em, 1-2-3 directors to complete. Rumor has it that this was the inspiration for the 2007 crime film TRIANGLE. Hark, Lam, and To were such big fans of HORRIBLE HIGH HEELS that they decided to join foces to make a similar pic. At least that's what some random asian dude told me. We were sitting in the bathroom of a Chinese food joint around Chatham Square. He was in the stall next to me and as his foot so gently brushed against mine under the stall, he layed that yarn on me. Now, a story like that just HAS to be true! The film sometimes looks to be 3 seperate stories thinly connected by an actor or two. If this is a cut and paste production it's well done. And did I mention that some dude bangs a goose! Classic!

If you can make it through the opening credits, set in a slaughterhouse where a real cow is slaughtered (slicing, dicing, chainsawing, blood) you'll be just fine. This low budget Category III roughie concerns an extended family of down on their luck shoemakers. When the patriarch disappears, a twisted cobbler surfaces hawking a new type of leather that will turn their woes into $$$$.

Turns out their new fabric isn't leather at all...but....HUMAN SKIN!!!...AAGGGGHHHH!!! Creative scenes and great camera work elevate HORRIBLE HIGH HEELS above most CAT III fare. The films supporting stars are Dick Wei playing a cop and Shing Fui-on playing a triad, respectively. Billy Chow also briefly appears but bites it fairly quick. The rest of the cast are well worn players. If HK cinema is old hat to you the faces will be recognizable. Most notably Lam Chak-ming and Suen Tong.

While not wholly successful in it's telling, the trademarks that inhabit good Cat. III films are. The rape scenes are rough and twisted. The actresses attire seem to be peeled off as easy as a banana and characters spit out gems like "what a ferocious woman! I want to tame you"! There is enough skin and nastiness on display to satisfy the pervs and those looking for some gun-play, there is a way out of place explosive ending that's kinda cheesy but welcome. The film sports questionable directing, editing, and acting. A triumvirate of crapiness that most films can't outrun. But HORRIBLE HIGH HEELS manages to do so with ease. Ed Wood type laughs include Lam Chak-ming backing up and knocking into a bicycle before an edit and him reacting a second or two too early as he is attacked from behind. Laugh out loud funy stuff. All of this makes for fantastic garbage cinema.

With it's title, premise, and warped scenes of depravity, HORRIBLE HIGH HEELS status as a classic cult film seems secure.

Friday, January 29, 2010

New York, Chinatown (1982)

Ok, so I figured that since I live in New York and visit the city enough, I would try and take you folks on a tour, so to speak, on some locations featured in a few Hong Kong productions that have filmed in New York City. First up is the 1982 crime/drama NEW YORK, CHINATOWN, directed by Stanley Siu Wing and starring Melvin Wong Gam-san, Alan Tang Kwong-wing, Maria Chung Wai-bing and a very early appearance by Don "The Dragon" Wilson. The film is part of a two disc double feature put out by BCI's Kung Fu Theater. The second disc contains MASTER OF DISASTER aka NEW KIDS IN TOWN aka NEW KILLERS IN TOWN. The transfer is pretty nice and what you would expect a 1982 Hong Kong pic to look like. It's a pretty standard crime flick with tough guys, dirty cops, bumbling small potatoes, hokey acting, questionable filmmaking, and amusingly bad subtitles. I tried my best (remember i'm a lazy body) to match the screen shots with pictures I have taken of the locale. Most of the location pics were taken before I thought about doing this so the pictures don't exactly match the location perfectly. But who cares? It's still pretty cool to compare NEW YORK, CHINATOWN circa 1982 with New York, Chinatown circa 2010.

Some Chinatown punks crossing Bowery. The Manhattan Bridge entrance/exit in the background. This is just south of Canal Street. Check out that Yellow Cab on the right! 1982

Here is the same location as the previous pic. 2010

The same 3 punks from the earlier pic. They made there way across Bowery and are now loitering in front of a restaurant. The guy in the middle is pretending to take a whizz which prompts the chick in yellow to utter that awful subtitle. 1982

The same location. Decidedly different. The restaurant is still there but i'm not sure if it is the exact same establishment. Today, the restaurant goes by the name of Sunshine 27. It has a much different facade incorporating a bunch of fish tanks into it's decor. 2010

Dirty Chinatown Dai lo Melvin Wong walking toward his car after viewing his brothers dead body below the Brooklyn Bridge. Manhattan side. 1982

Obviously this pic is slightly different than the long shot featured in the screen cap. This pic might have been taken from where my main man Melvin was standing? 2010

Pretty cool little shootout on Mott Street. On the far side of the street, to the right, is my favorite C-town eatery Big Wong's. Note the sign. Before..... 1982

And after. The 2010 Big Wong sign is, well, big and yellow. The facade is different as well. Going from a red tile finish to a nicer and more city friendly brick. 2010

Some punk ass triad small potatoes running scarred down Doyer's Street. 1982

This pic and the one above it are of the same location. This pic is the beginning of the final shootout. It's on the corner of Doyers Street and and Pell Street. 1982

The same intersecion of Doyers and Pell. 2010

I'll have to look at the film again but I believe this might be a pic of Don "The Dragon" Wilson riding the roof of a station wagon with gun-a-blazing down Pell street towards Mott Street. 1982

View from Pell Street looking west toward Mott Street....sans Don "The Dragon" and station wagon. 2010

Finally this is the view from Mott Street looking southward toward the Chatham Square and Worth Street intersection. 2010

After the carnage. Last man standing Alan Tang Kwong-wing walks down blood soaked Mott Street towards the Chatham Square/ Worth Street intersection. THE END. 1982

Hopefully in the future I will get to do this again. There have been a dozen or so HK productions filmed in and around New York City. The other films I have planned are TAKING MANHATTAN, MANHATTAN MIDNIGHT, TONGS, THE IMMIGRANT POLICEMAN, FULL MOON IN NEW YORK, and FAREWELL CHINA. I'm probably missing a few. Any others?

I'm also toying with portraying a few San Francisco based HK flicks since I was there two years ago and i'm heading back this summer. SAUSALITO immediatley springs to mind along with Otto Chan's awesome GATES OF HELL. Where did THE WESLEY'S MYSTERIOUS FILE take place? Was it San Francisco? Was it shot on location? Am I missing other films?

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Chinatown Goodies

I was in Chinatown this evening with my gf and her cousin, (we'll call my gf's cousin "R". There might be a future post about "R" and an unfortunate HK cinema incident that she was party to), having dinner at our favorite restaurant Big Wong King. Before meeting up with "R" we hit our usual HK dvd/vcd hotspots so I can blow some money that I should be saving. But anyway, above is a pic of tonights score. 49 flicks total for roughly 110 bucks! You can't beat it! Tonight's haul includes a few doubles and triples, movies I own already but in different formats. A handful of Shaw Bros. vcd's including THE WANDERING SWORDSMAN, CARRY ON DOCTORS AND NURSES, and HELL HAS NO BOUNDARY. The 1974 Brigitte Lin horror/fantasy GHOST OF THE MIRROR. Yet another vcd copy of FORSAKEN COP, unsubtitled of course but it was only 2 bucks. Couldn't pass it up. Also a Fortune Star "Legendary Collection" dvd of I WANT MORE...aka CONFESSION OF A CONCUBINE, which looks right up my alley. The only new film I was able to pick up was Danny Pang's SEVEN2 ONE. A mighty fine evening in C-town.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

VCD Junk

Forsaken Cop, See Bar, Give and Take...Oh Shit!

Savior, Our Last Day, Story of Prostitutes

Blood Stained Tradewinds, Behind The Curtain, Kung Fu Master is My Grandma

Just a random sampling of some vcd's from my collection. A few goodies in this bunch. I must own over a thousand vcd's. I probably have more vcd's in my collection than any other format. I love the cheap look that the transfer offers it's films. The films appear more gritty, sweaty, and life-like. I also like that they are less expensive than other formats. Which is probably why I own so many? Because along with my laziness, my cheap bastardness is unsurpassed.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Long Arm of the Law II (1987)

Poster images for the 1987 film "LONG ARM OF THE LAW II". The second film in the Mak bros. excellent crime trilogy. Alex Man Chi-Leung, Elvis Tsui Kam-kong, Ben Lam Kwok-bun, and Pauline Wong Siu-fung star.

More VHS goodness....

The Immigrant Policeman, Underworld Heroine, Man of the Times

Sexual Devil, The Other Side of Gentleman, The Real Me

The Jail of No Return, License To Steal, Hero Beat Back

A few more VHS from my collection. And again, some subtitled and some labled as subtitled, but not....Mother F%*#er!?!?!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Peace Hotel (1995)

The Killer

Has Some Return

Before Wai Ka-fai was Wai Ka-fai he was Wai Ka-fai. Well, before Wai Ka-fai the auteur was Wai Ka-fai the auteur as we now him, he made a movie. His debut feature, "PEACE HOTEL", was a revisionist western....well, western. Produced by John Woo and starring Chow Yun-fat and Cecelia Yip, Wai Ka-fai showed that he had a strong base for concept and even panache in his execution. He gave HK filmgoers in 1995 some cause for hope. Unfortunately it's difficult to hold an industry on your shoulders even with the help of his Milkyway co-founder Johnnie To. They sure as hell do try though.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Lewd Lizard aka Chong (1979)

Back in December I wrote a post briefly recounting my days with gray market VHS from various mail order companies. I went back and viewed some of these diamonds in the rough that I haven't seen since before the days of the internet. Below is an old review of "LEWD LIZARD aka CHONG" I wrote for This crazy-fun flick was written, directed by and also starred veteran actor Wai Wang. This guy clearly had issues. Accompanying the review are a few screen shots of the crap ass SLP VHS that I paid $25 bucks for over a dozen years ago. I could upgrade to a gray market DVD of the film but two wrongs doesn't make a right. Enjoy.

David leaves his girlfriend behind to study abroad. They both proclaim their undying love for one another and his girlfriend promises to wait for him. But being the savvy cinematic folk all of us are, we know better. Upon returning to HK, David finds his girlfriend has married someone else! Betrayed, Davey-boy goes a bit nuts. He seeks revenge on his ex, her new beau, and the beau's gang. For no other reason than plot device, David hoofs it to the sea shore to recount his recent maladies. There he finds lizards and a budding scheme.

Panty sniffer!

He begins to frequent ho-houses but not for companionship. A whiff of a hooker's undercarriage undergarment sets his plan forward. David then befriends a female at a seaside resort who helps him steal panties from unsuspecting females in changing booths. A great excuse for some t&a. Now David turns into a mad scientist (this must have been his field of study overseas). He mixes the 'essence' of the dirty panties with venom from various reptiles. He then injects the results into lizards, thus creating... Lewd Lizards!!! David begins to mete out punishment, via lizard, to his wrong doers. Shoving them where the sun seldom shines and watching his victims writhe in ecstasy...then agony.

Now that's quality gray market craftsmanship!

Great 70's type porn music and campy production values make Lewd Lizard a raunchy good time. It's a shame the warped imagination that bred films like this and used to permeate Hong Kong cinema is nowhere to be found nowadays.

Hong Kong Conundrum???

Above is a pic of a VHS oddity from my collection. Ok, so the pic isn't great (my camera is outdated) but I'm having difficulty placing the film? The title of the movie is "RENDEZ-VOUS OF JAPANESE KANTO". It stars Mark Cheng and Sibelle Hu and appears to be a Hong Kong/ China co-production maybe around the early to mid 90's. Sibelle Hu disappeared around the mid 90's and Mark Cheng has long hair in this one. If that helps any?

The plot is a bit tired and concerns those pesky evil Japanese and their occupation of China around the days of WWII. The film isn't terribly low budget but just enough to have it's silly moments. The action is quite decent though. A few nice fight scenes. Even a "little person" gets in on the action. The film also allows for Mark Cheng to show off his great kung fu skills as well. And of course the Chinese win in the end. Hooray!

I've tried cross referencing the film, figuring the title might be an alternative one, but nothing comes up. Then again i'm lazy so maybe I didn't do enough to answer my query. Anyone have any ideas? All two of you who visit this blog!? Can you ask around? Ask your moms. Dads. Grandparents. Thanks.

Little person bites it!
UPDATE: Thanks to for correctly identifying the title of this film. It's actually a Taiwanese film from 1993 called, "THE SUN SOCIETY". Thanks again to Visit this great HK cinema review site here:

Friday, January 15, 2010

Mo' movies, mo' movies, mo' movies.....

Ghost Killer, Vampire Kids, Fatal Memory

The Trouble Couple, Mr. Big, The Truth of a Killer

Sleazy Dizzy, Crime Buster, Manhunt Across the Border

More HK VHS from my collection. Some obscure titles but unfortunately a few of them aren't subtitled. Does it make anyone else angry when the box clearly lists the film as having English subtitles but when you throw the film on there aren't any? I have been trying to deal with this subtitle anger issue for over a dozen years now. It throws me into outrageous fits of anger. I tend to break things. Followed by gentle sobbing in a fetal position while sucking my thumb and holding myself. I've tried 12 step programs before but could never get past step 3. Step 1 was simple, admitting that I am powerless over Hong Kong Cinema and that my life has become unmanageable. That is obvious. Step 2 was fairly easy as well, believing that there was a power greater than myself that could restore me to sanity. OK. I can admit that. But step 3 is where I falter time and again. Making a decision to turn my will and my life over to God as I know him. No. I can't do it. I could only see turning my life over to maybe.....Billy Tang as I know him? Maybe Otto Chan? Damn step 3!!!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Devil Sorcery (1988)

Black Magic


Black Magic with Boobies

Poster for the 1988 Category III black magic + boobies pic "THE DEVIL SORCERY" starring the late Kwan Hoi-san, Ku Feng, and Alan Chan Kwok-kuen. Lead actress Kim Gee-mei was also in "THE BARREN VIRGIN". See the latter film's poster here:

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Where's Your Head At?

Leon Lai
Moses Chan Jet Li

Heads for Sale! Updating a post I did back in December, here are a few more HK actor doll heads I found being sold on Ebay. For all you fetishists out there I suppose you can string them together and make your very own set of HK cinema Ben Wa balls. I bet Leon Lai has a set. Use at your own discretion.