Showing posts with label Charlie Cho. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Charlie Cho. Show all posts

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Don't Call Me Gigolo (1993)

DON'T CALL ME GIGOLO (1993)
I recently found a copy of the rare CAT III title, DON'T CALL ME GIGOLO, starring Stuart Ong, Ku Feng, Tsui Man-wah, Shum Wai, and my brudda, Charlie Cho Cha-lee.  The 'gigolo' flick in HK cinema hit it's zenith in the early 90's days of CAT III cinema.  Simon Yam Tat-wah made a memorable handful like the  two GIGOLO AND WHORE films, CASH ON DELIVERY, FRIDAY GIGOLO, and HONG KONG GIGOLO.  Here, Stuart Ong dons the male whore pants in this god awful, turgid CAT III drama.  There.  I said it.  It's out there.  See.  I don't like EVERY CAT III movie around.  Then again...HK films are like sex and pizza....

The crap plot has Stuart the duck unwittingly getting mixed up in the gigolo trade as he needs money to send back home to his ailing mother.  In between bouts of male whoring he falls for a lady.  At least I think that's the plot?  I was propping my eyelids open with toothpicks for this one.  Snoozers.  Charlie Cho is the only bright spot in this slow moving turd as he plays his usual prick character.  Magnificent bastard Shum Wai appears as well as the venerable Ku Feng who plays a stately pimp!?  If you are curious, there is a torrent floating around out there.  Seek and ye shall find.  And eventually be lulled to sleep by this turkey full of duck talk.

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The NYAFF is still rolling along.  This weekend sees some BIG Hong Kong/China/Taiwan  happenings with THE STORY OF RICKY, ZU: WARRIORS FROM THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN, REIGN OF ASSASSINS, DRAGON INN , PUNISHED, THE BLADE, OCEAN HEAVEN and DETECTIVE DEE screening.  If you aren't into these films (then please leave this page and never return) there are also a TON of other Asian films locked, loaded, and ready to be shot all over your chin, neck, and chest.  Also on the dance card this coming week:  BKO: BANGKOK KNOCKOUT, CITY OF VIOLENCE,  THE CHASER, VERSUS, THE YELLOW SEA, and other films that I know nothing about.  If you are in the big city, please do yourself and your longtime companion a favor and take in one of these cool flicks. 

As a bit of an aside, I watched BLACK SWAN last night and noticed that it took place in and around Lincoln Center.  Sooooo, to sweeten the deal, after you check out one or two of the flicks @ the NYAFF you can traipse around the grounds, duck in to a dance studio or two and see if Natalie and Mila, or two anorexic chippies with inner demons who resemble them, are gettin' it on.  You can make a day of it!

Please support the NYAFF by buying tickets HERE.  Thanks! 

Monday, July 4, 2011

PUNISHED @ The New York Asian Film Festival And A Quick Trip Into C-town

The 2011 NYAFF started this past Friday and I made my first trek in on Saturday to see the new Milkyway flick PUNISHED.  Now, I wasn't excited because it was a Milkyway pic or that Anthony Wong Chau-sang was in it.  Nooooo.  I was giddy with glee because my best buddy Charlie Cho Cha-lee had a small part in the film.  It was my first time seeing Cho on the big screen and I was full of nervous excitement. 
Even though we are far removed from the days of Charlie hanging out in his tightie whities and sexing up young tarts, the idea of seeing my beloved friend in ANY movie was excitement enough.  I hopped the LIRR in to Penn station and decided to hike it on up to the Walter Reade theater in favor of using mass transit.  I wanted to save a few bucks and it's only 2 miles.  2 long, hot, and sweaty swamp-assed miles.  But, whatever. 
2.05 miles later I was in the air conditioned confines of the Walter Reade theater, on line to see PUNISHED.  No special guests were appearing today so it was a just a nice, easy going, movie experience.  None of the clamour that surrounds some of the more special screenings that the fest offers.  That was until 3 douches sat next to me just before the lights went low.  I moved one space over, because that is the unpacked movie theater courtesy.  A buffer zone that these shits didn't care or know about.  The film started and their gosh damn lips didn't.  Jabberjawing to each other as the film went, a man in front of me turned to them and, "Shhhhhhhh."  The talking sank to a whisper.  And then a louder whisper.  A loud whisper kinda defeats the purpose of a whisper?  Right?  So, the loud whispers gave way to good ole fashion being rude.  Adding film commentary like, "Ooooh.  that's a nice desk!", in reference to a piece of furniture that Anthony Wong had in his office.  Are you f'ing kidding me?  Really?  You are commenting on that!?  This nonsense went on for a little while longer until our saviors, a gentleman and his lady friend who were sitting directly in front of the 3 douches turned to them and said, "Would you please SHUT THE FUCK UP!?"  In beautiful harmonious unison.  It was warranted and NYC polite.  They did say, "Please."  The previous 'Shusher' and I leaned over to the couple and said, "Thank you."  Our 3 douches were not heard from again.
In between our 3 douches fracas a movie was going on.  And Mr. Cho made his first screen appearance out of about a handful of brief moments.  And boy let me tell you...I damn near cried with joy.  I had a brief flash or nervous, panicky excitement and I whipped out my Iphone to capture Cha-lee's shining moment (The video is above).  He's a bit more weathered and older, obviously.  There is an accentuated sophistication actually.  His portrayal of a put upon employee of the asshole character Anthony Wong plays is quite nuanced and even a touch heartbreaking.  The films tone is decidedly serious and violent, but, the films sole LOL scene is put upon Charlie.  It's a small, simple, wonderful performance and I really hope that it brings about a resurgence of sorts for Mr. Cho.   His days of tapping fine and not so fine starlet backside may be well behind him but as an assured elder statesmen of HK cinema, I would just be overjoyed to see him in more local mainstream productions.  Bit part or not.  Bring on the Charlie Cho renaissance!
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Sir Charles aside, I might be the wrong person to speak about PUNISHED.  Being a Milkyway production it is, of course, competent and well made.  It just isn't fresh.  It is not the worst move by To and Co. and it's also certainly not near their best efforts from the late 90's.  My penchant for HK genre films aside, just a little, when I watch films like PUNISHED, or other recent Milkyway films for that matter, I begin to think that HK cinema has actually regressed in the past 20 years.  In the context of the other HK films on theNYAFF 2011 docket, ZU: WARRIORS FROM THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN, DRAGON INN, THE BLADE, and STORY OF RICKY, a movie like PUNISHED does not fit.  Not in terms of the festival line-up but in the lexigon of Hong Kong Cinema. I understand times and tatses have changed (and other production elements that i'm not mentioning here to avoid a longer diatribe) and the HK cinema landscape is wholly different but the imagination once seen in HK cinema has really languished.  Again, genre differences aside, but how could you pit the mind and energy present in THE BLADE or DRAGON INN to the slow,'thoughtful', and sometimes faux toughness (I once called it 'Arthouse Testosterone') artsiness in the contemporary PUNISHED?  Hands down it's the former.  This difference will not make me jump ship to other Asian cinemas as it has sadly done to most HK cinema fans.  Before you lambaste me, i'm not saying it's ALL Milkyway's fault, but they are HK's forerunner for the globe.  It's becoming a played out discussion, I know, but even with the played out Milkyway formula, I'm still on board.  Just get your head out of your ass HK cinema.  Think, gosh dang it!  Think!

The following day, Wei and I headed into Chinatown to meet up with a couple of Canuck friends for dim sum and do a little HK movie shopping.  The dim sum was delicious but the HK movie shopping was less fruitful.  I might own way too many movies?  My selections are becoming few.  HK movie shopping aside we decided to make a nice day of it and stroll around a rainy days C-town, duck into a few stores, take some pics, and enjoy some bubble tea before heading home.  Check out some posters splashed throughout C-town.





My canuck friend brought with him a few posters that I bought off of him, pictured above.  There are some fantastic goodies in this batch and I hope to get around to posting them sometime soon.  Which in my speak translates to a year or two from now.  Check out my buddies two blogs, Kung Fu Fridays and Popcorn and Sticky Floors. 
Above is the paltry selection I scored in C-town.  HI, FIDELITY, DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART, MR. AND MS. INCREDIBLE, and WHAT WOMEN WANT.  I forwent plunking down an overpriced buck on THE LOST BLADESMEN and LET THE BULLETS FLY, trying not to be too lossey-goosey with my money  and only picked up the cheaper 4 movies mentioned.  I can wait to see the latter two and buy used on Ebay.
And finally, to put the perfect stamp on a great weekend, Wei surprised me with a new Ipod.  Specially inscribed just for me!  How cool is that and how wonderful of a gal is Wei!? I think I'm marrying the right girl!?  Now I can roll around naked in my vhs collection and make sweet loving to my laserdiscs while listening to an adult contemporary mix!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

This Week In Sleaze ep. 3 SEX AND ZEN Special

THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE ep. 3 SEX AND ZEN SPECIAL

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Episode 3 is on line! On the opening day of the much anticipated film (well, at least I am anticipating it) SEX AND ZEN 3:D EXTREME ECSTASY, Sleazy K and I discuss Michael Mak Dong-kit's HK cinema classic, SEX AND ZEN. Who better than a man named 'Dong' to direct such fun and filthy film and who better then 2 guys with tiny dongs to discuss the film? Not only do we riff on horse penises, Amy Yip's augmented ta-ta's, and flutes disappearing into hirsute vagina's, we lovingly explore the 1987 SEX AND ZEN precursor, YU PUI TSUEN II , directed by Ho Fan. Like a horse shmeckle in your mouth, here comes THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE ep. 3, SEX AND ZEN!!!

SEX AND ZEN (1991)

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Pictured above is a little piece of nostalgia for me. My Tai Seng SEX AND ZEN vhs. This was the first HK movie I ever bought. I have fond memories of watching this jaw dropper as a fine young lad of 19. It was the beginning of the end, after viewing this. Discovering HK cinema was much more that gun play and martial arts action. There was another type of action on display. And like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, or an awkward 19 year old rising in his slightly damaged jeans from Marshall's upon seeing Isabelle Chow and Rena Murakami play hide-the-flute, Kingwho? was born.

YU PUI TSUEN (1987)

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Here is my YU PUI TSIEN II vcd that I found in the 'adult' section of a shop in NYC Chinatown. It's worth the blushing and the sweat a few awkward glances give you as you flip through the naughty discs in the back of the store. If you don't, you run the risk of missing out on gems like this. Pictured below are some more movies from my collection and all are mentioned in the latest TWIS podcast. It's gooey fun!

YU PUI TSUEN III (1996)

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THE FORBIDDEN LEGEND: SEX AND CHOPSTICKS (2008)

- THE FORBIDDEN LEGEND: SEX AND CHOPSTICKS II (2009)

- JIN PIN MEI (1996)

- A CHINESE TORTURE CHAMBER STORY II (1998)

- LOVER OF THE LAST EMPRESS (1995)

- EROTIC GHOST STORY (1990)

- EROTIC GHOST STORY: PERFECT MATCH (1997)


- THE GOLDEN LOTUS: LOVE AND DESIRE (1991)


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Have you downloaded the podcast yet? WTF are you waiting for? Change into a fresh new pair of underoos and give it a listen already. Everything you wanted to know about SEX AND ZEN but were afraid to ask! I also expound, in our Last Sleazy Movies Watched segment, on a Charlie Ch0 Cha-lee rarity, ESCORT SERVICE aka WEST BIG HEAVEN KING.


ESCORT SERVICE aka WEST BIG HEAVEN KING (1993)


- I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner!


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The gang's all here!


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Cha-lee has a gay 'ol time in ESCORT SERVICE and you will also have sticky fun while listening to the show. Download this equine size load of a CAT III podcast right here. Get your box of tissues at the ready, or if you prefer, a hand towel, lay back and let the soothing sounds of Qing Dynasty dirtiness pound you deep into your soul.


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

KINGWHO? ON FIRE!!!!!! A NEW BEGINNING!!!!!

Hey folks! On this, my 200th post, I bring fan-freakin'-tastic news! The day is finally here and I'm ready to gush about the dirty little secret I hinted at last week. Pardon me while I unzip my husky jeans and unleash my BIG announcement. I can't hold it back anymore.....it's ready to blow!!!! KINGWHO? in a podcast! THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE!


THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE is ready to drop, my friends. I was invited to join a podcast created by Kenneth B. of So Good Reviews, Sleazy K's Video, and the number one with a bullet Asian podcast network, Podcast on Fire, to co-host a bi-weekly shit shoot on our favorite topic, Hong Kong (s)exploitation through the years. Our first show was recorded a few weeks back and it's nipples have been tweaked and package tugged to loving perfection, and it's now ready to be splooged into the ears of Asian cinema fans the world over. Hook up that Ipod, grab a box of tissues, and download this hot load of CAT III gooiness. Welcome to THIS WEEK IN SLEAZE!


Click HERE to make your pants drop!
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On our first episode Ken and I discuss the origin of the CAT III rating, our personal introduction into the seedy genre, talk about a handful of classic early 90's CAT III films including SEX AND ZEN and DR. LAMB, and relay the beautiful sleaze we witnessed during our Last Films Watched segment. My effort this week....WHORE AND POLICEWOMAN!

After listening to the show, click HERE and head back to view my WHORE AND POLICEWOMAN poster.



Charlie is so excited he can hardly contain himself!

I hope everyone gives the show a shot. It was actually my first time in my 15+ years of watching HK cinema that I was able to speak/discuss it out loud!!! I am aware that my voice sound like crap but that's what happens when you work the graveyard shift for 10 years. I'll have to work on some things but the show was a ton of fun and Ken and I will be recording episode 2 this coming Friday. Nasty feedback and criticism is encouraged. I will most definitely keep everyone updated and hooked into the podcast and ALL of the Asian cinema love that is going on over at the Podcast On Fire Network. I really hope everyone enjoys the show?!


Monday, January 24, 2011

Legend of Wind (2000)

LEGEND OF WIND (2000)

A CAT III film about a legendary Shaolin passer of gas? Not quite. But there is a foul breeze coming from this cheap budget action-banger. Sporting popular dirty old men Charlie Cho Cha-lee and William Ho Ka-kui is a nice touch and makes the film worth a cursory once over. Having these lechers in the fold points to having some second hand starlets shed their clothes. I'll take it!

Ben Ng Ngai-cheung, Lily Chung Suk-wai, and Philip Ko Fei are the other notable faces looking to pay the rent in this paltry 2000 effort. Of other note in this crapper is the participation Benny and Rocky Lai Keung-kuen. Both brothers were part of Jackie Chan's Stunt Team. A few unnoticeable actors flesh out the cast with only one of the unknown actresses actually showing her flesh. LEGEND OF WIND plays back and forth with two stories that run concurrently, eventually crossing paths. One story centers around Ben Ng seeking revenge on the person(s) responsible for his fathers murder and the other concerns a former police officer hiring a female hit squad to take out a rival. Sounds kick-ass. It's not. LEGEND OF WIND gets constantly sidetracked (though the sidetracking i'm mostly pointing too is of the nekkid kind) becoming entirely uninvolving, taking a while to get it's juices flowing. There is action of the bullet and banging kind with some shitty foot and fisticuffs thrown in, and, along with the nudity, just hangs around long enough to keep you hanging around.

The actress above, who I can't place, is 1/3 of the gaggle of hit-women. She appears to be the center of the girl gang. I point her out here because she is quite fetching, in a way. Unfortunately, she sports a gnarly caterpillar above her upper lip. You could wax and handlebar that bad boy. Each time she popped up on screen, the Jimmy Buffet tune 'Pencil Thin Mustache' would play in my head.

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The loveable Charlie Cho Cha-lee





To Love Ferrari



Charlies d**k knows many a marginally attractive skid row starlet pretty well. Cho gets to stick it to one of the hit-women a few times and also flashes some pubes to keep your lady friend interested. She'll probably be making a mental note of Cho's underwear hair for later on. You're welcome! But i'm sure you'd probably be watching this one alone. Perverts can take note that this particular no-name actress is quiet top heavy and could suckle a family of 5 for weeks with her endowments. Ka-kui also gets it on with a duo of rough faced strumpets.



I must tame you!





The climax of LEGEND OF WIND might take you by surprise, culminating in a half way decent helicopter vs. car action scene. This is most likely where this cheap films $ went to. It's most certainly not a saving grace, and a little too late, but a welcome eye opener in this middling CAT III cheapo.











I was hoping for the best with LEGEND OF WIND. It nicely includes the CAT III goodies and that just might keep you from pushing fast forward? A little know title that is most definitely like sex and pizza.